Ok you pissed me off higher then I've been pissed in a LONG time. I asked you to take mom to her CT Scan appointment to help out because afterall, she is YOUR mother too. I need some help and it's time you stepped up to the plate.

I asked you to do this ONE thing but NOOOOOOOOOOO! That was just a little too much. Your arrogant, rude, disrespectful ass have absolutely no regard for anyone else's time. You think the world revolves around you so much that you thought it was ok to take mom to her appointment 1 HOUR LATE. Oh yeah...you thought having her wait that long and just showing up to the radiology clinic an hour late was fine and they would just take her. But NOOOOOOOOOOO!!! They told your stupid ass that they wouldn't take her because you were AN HOUR late so now I have to take MORE time off work and take her to do something YOU should have done. How arrogant and disrespectful is that to think it's ok to totally blow off an appointment like that? To think that you can show up whenever the hell you feel like and it would be ok...fuck whatever else anyone has going on or that these people had OTHER PATIENTS TO SEE is the height of arrogance. BITCH!!!

I don't care that I am only 4' 11 and 130lbs and you are 6'5 and 300 PLUS pounds......I will still drop kick you right in the back of your throat and beat that ass.

Can you tell I am pissed right now?

Ok, why did I get a call at work from a really good friend yesterday? She and I are talking about her upcoming TV game show appearance when all of a sudden she exclaims, "What is going on with my car? I ...think...I ....am...running...out...of ....gas....!"

My immediate response was, "Well, how far are you from a gas station?"

She says, "I'm not sure. Oh my goodness...I'm slowing down! I think I am really out of gas. I've been driving with my gas light on for the last three days."

Me, *Blank stare* "You do realize that the gas light means you need gas right?"

My Friend, "Everyone's a critic."

Me, *Laughing hysterically*

My Friend, "I gotta go call AAA. Bye!"

This has been an extremely weird and sad day. My bosses boss died over the weekend. I liked her alot and she was a very smart, cool lady. I should have known something was up when my boss called me and requested I call her at home yesterday. That's when she told me the news.

I don't know, it hit me kinda hard. It's difficult to realize that I will never see this woman walk into the office ever again. Man it's weird.

Although we were bought out recently by a VERY large company our office here in MD is still very small. We are pretty close knit here and I love that so everyone is taking this pretty hard. The home office acted quickly and got us grief counselors in early this morning. That was FAST. I must say that it really helped to have them there.

Now here is the crazy part. Women, I know we all want to look our best...God knows I do but we have to really look at the risk we are taking.

This woman died from complications of a tummy tuck. Totally senseless. If you remember....this is the same thing Kanye West's mother died from a few months ago.

OK, if I were ever considering (and I'm not) a tummy tuck this was the wake up call I needed to give that whole nonsense up.

I still can't believe this.

Ok, a friend of my boss's asked me to hang out with her so...I did. We decided to go to Bonefish Grill for drinks and dinner.

Well let me tell ya.....I am NOT a drinker but I decided to woman up and order a drink. As I perused the drink menu I noticed something called a Pomegranate Martini. That sounded pretty damn yummy so I decided to partake. I mean I like pomegranates and I had a Key Lime Martini in Jackson MS that was to die for so I figured how could I go wrong so I ordered it.

Well let me tell you...all I can say is DAMN!! That is some kinda good!

If you are ever in Bonefish Grill order yourself a Pomegranate Martini. You'll thank me later. Trust.

Uuuuhhhh..... men. This goes for you too.

Things have been really confusing at The Diva's house lately. The Analyst and I are still in this weird area. One minute he is very distant and the next he's all playful.

Bottom line is that I am still not getting what I want and need from him. I was driving into work this morning and began tearing up as I know I need to get him out of my house and the realization is painful. I knew he needed to go before but because he's still there and going back and forth with this behavior of one minute wanting me and the next not wanting anything to do with me is confusing and frustrating me which I told him it would do if we kept this up. It just keeps sucking me back in when I think I've pulled away.

I need peace and to maintain my sanity and the only way to do that is to get him out.

I am convinced he doesn't really care about me. He just doesn't want to live in a strange place with a strange person (getting a roommate) because he can't afford an apartment on his own right now. That is the real reason he doesn't want to leave my home. I've said as much to him but of course he denies it but a person can tell in their soul whether a person is into them or not and The Analyst does not act like someone that is into me or wants a relationship at all. His "moments of possibility" are killing me.

I just want peace people.

I feel I am in limbo because I can't really emotionally move on or even date a little with him still in the picture and that is not fair to me. I've been talking to and hanging out with The Manager a little here and there (no sex....not my style) but I feel I can't take that any further if I wanted too because of The Analyst still hanging around.

I just want to have peace, date a little, just have fun (nothing serious as yet) for now until Mr. Right comes along eventually but I can't feel free with him at my house.

UGH!!!

I don’t think men realize just how serious marriage and kids are to some of us women. No one wants to spend the rest of their lives alone. Most of us want a spouse that will be there waiting for us when we get home armed with a warm smile, kiss and hug along with a “How was your day honey?” It gives us warmth, depth and purpose.

There are some of us that are so serious we’ve made dating and marriage an art form.

There are a few in our society that actually are not the marrying type and that’s ok but for some, the thought of not finding a mate is quite disturbing.

I have a really good friend that lives in Charlotte NC. She moved there with the sole purpose of finding a husband and having kids because North Carolina is touted as the Mecca of single men.

Well since she’s moved there almost 2 years ago she hasn’t had any real prospects to speak of until very recently. She met a promising man; they went on 4 dates mind you. My friend regales tales of laughter, great conversation, mild flirting and a definite connection. This man went away for a 6 week overseas vacation. After which time, my friend, thinking he’s surely back by now, called and left a message on his voicemail to call when he got a chance. He never called. She is now left wondering what went wrong. Is there something wrong with her?

This has forced her into a depression. She has even decided to begin seeing a therapist to help her deal with the looming knowledge that she may never have the husband and kids she so desperately wants.

Why is it so difficult for some to find a date much less a spouse and others seem to effortlessly fall into multiple marriages?

I wonder if my friend is taking this all too much to heart. When I begin to wonder that I then try to put myself in her shoes and realize that the thought of being alone for the rest of my life is very disheartening to say the least. I do have an understanding of where she is coming from.

I’ve been married before so I am coming from a different perspective. When people find out I’m divorced a sense of “Aaawww...I’ve been there too” or “I so totally understand.” envelopes the vibe of the conversation and it seems cool. But when we meet someone in their late 30’s and older that have never been married we wonder “What is wrong with you?” Even though I feel that is a terrible way to think I find myself wondering the same thing. “Why haven’t you been married before? What is wrong with you?” Sad I know.

Hey everyone. I hope you all had a good weekend. My weekend was crazy. I might not have mentioned this before but my mother is disabled and wheelchair bound. Well, she had a fall this past Saturday. Luckily my niece was with her and called so I drove out there to help get her up into her chair. Very difficult process as I am a very small woman and my mother is extremely heavy. So we finally got her into her chair and comfortable. She was very sluggish and weak this day which alarmed me. I had a talk with her and she realized that she can no longer live in that house. I stayed with her the rest of the day and then all day Sunday to make sure she's ok.

It really bothers me that she is home because too many harmful things can happen. She needs so much care that an assisted living facility is the best place for her.

Well I spent alot of time yesterday making calls, visitng facilites and trying to get things situated and I will do the same today. We found a really nice place that she will like and the bonus is that it's right down from my house so I can see her everyday if need be. Things are looking good that she will be able to get into her new place by weeks end. Monday at the latest. I feel really good about that. It will relieve so much pressure from me to know she is being taken care of.

My brother's fiance has been so wonderful and helpful through all this. More so then my other brother who I haven't spoken to since Saturday. Whatever.

Ok...off to visit your blogs!

I noticed the other day that my car was running a little rough. It was sluggish one day then the next the "Check Gadges" light came on. I'm thinking to myself 'What the hell is going on with this car.'

Now I don't profess to be the most mechanically inclined woman around but it doesn't take a rocket scientist to realize that something was wrong with my baby. I decided to start out by taking her to Jiffy Lube. I figured it had been awhile since my last oil change maybe we'll start there.

I pull into Jiffy Lube, I step out of the car and proceed into the waiting area. About 5 mins later a guy came out and says, "Ms. Diva. When was the last time you had an oil change?"

I started to think about this for a minute. Hmmmmmm... " I was supposed to get one at about 83,000 miles."

"Maam, your car has almost 96,000 miles on it."

"Oh." I exclaim.

"Yes. It was bone dry Miss."

Oops.

Picture this, a warm, beautiful sunny Saturday afternoon. I'm at the Inner Harbor in Baltimore hanging out, taking in the ambience that is Baltimore. For those that are not familiar, the Inner Harbor is probably the premier tourist trap spot. Its the downtown waterfront where you can eat, drink, watch boats, shop and people watch which is what I was doing.

My friend and I were just sitting on a bench watching people go by and being amazed at the fuckupness that some call fashion. There was a group of guys, about 4 or 5, standing sort of in front of us talking amongst themselves having a decent time when 2 girls walked past. Now, being that these two girls were relatively attractive you might imagine that the guys all turned their heads and watched the girls walk by. Well apparently one of the girls didn't appreciate her friend being watched and walked up to the group of guys and said, "Are you all looking at my girl?'

Now the guys are shaking their heads as if to clear it out because they didn't hear what she said. One of the guys decided to ask, "What did you say?"

"Were you all looking at my girl?"

Guy: " Uuuhhhhh..... huh? Nah"

Girl: "Don't be looking at my girl. I don't appreciate that shit."

Ok, by now my friend and I are looking at each other like 'I can't believe what the the hell I am seeing.'

All of the guys just looked at each other back and forth as if to say, 'I can't believe this bitch is stepping to us like that." and then they all started to laugh and simply said "Naahh girl, it's all good." and turned away from her.

She mean mugged the guys as if she was going to whoop their ass then turned to her girlfriend and walked off. By this time all of us withnessing this crap just burst out into hysterics.

What the hell was she gonna do with a group of men by herself? LOL

She was protecting her honey. HAHAHA

Ok, how many of you are familiar with the term “Maintenance Man”? Hmmmmm? Well for those of you that are not let me explain. A Maintenance Man is some one that a woman gets together with occasionally while she is in between relationships for the sole purpose of having hot, steamy sex.

When you have this type of relationship there are definitely ground rules that must be adhered to. Before we go any further let me explain something to you. Most of you, I am sure, are aware of the term “Fuck Buddy.” You are probably thinking, “Well Diva, isn’t that the same thing?” Well au contraire my dear. There is a distinct difference. A Fuck Buddy (Who we will refer to as FB) is someone you know, an actual friend, if you will. You may even have had a relationship with this person in the past.

A Maintenance Man (Who we will refer to as MM) is someone that you do not know very well. Some one you are acquainted with but not really friends at all. You have a physical chemistry and want to explore that.

Most women become involved with the MM or FB until Mr. Right comes along. We women have our needs too just like men and we need to have them taken care of just like men.

Some people can embark on these types of relationships with no problem. For others, however, this arrangement is not for them. The reason why are varied but have a lot to do with the afore mentioned rules. Here are some of the rules that are involved with an MM or FB:

• No one can get emotionally attached whatsoever. Screw your brains out then keep it moving.
• There are to be no demands on anyone’s time. You get in where you fit in.
• There are no “dates” or vacations.
• There is no talk of the future.

These are just SOME of the rules involved. I’m sure some of you could come up with you own rules to add.

My question to you is how do you feel about this type of arrangement? Have you gotten involved in this type of relationship? If so, how did it work for you?

Me personally, I could never embark on such an arrangement. I am the type of woman that must have an emotional connection with the person I am with. I would eventually start to develop feelings or worse yet, start to feel used.

What’s your thoughts?

I am a freaking mucus factory over here! HONKKKK…HONKKKK
I hate having a cold. UGH!

As soon as I find out who the bugger was that gave this to me their ass is going to end up with a permanent limp!

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There is a woman at work who got 2 of her daughters jobs here so the three of them work together here in the company. No problem. We had a meeting yesterday and the woman and her youngest daughter were both in the same meeting. I told the daughter: “Wow! You got your hair layered. I love it!!!

Her mother smiled then started shaking her hair and said, “We both went. See my highlights?”

I said, “Oh yeah, it looks nice. I love the skunk like effect of the lighter highlights.”

She just looked at me and turned around. Somehow, I don’t think that was the right thing to say.

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Ok, can we take this Christmas shit down at work now!

I've recently become aware of just how selfish The Analyst is but nothing hit it more on the head then this morning.

This ass actually was surprised when I told him that I would be happier when he leaves. He had the audacity to ask me why. Excuse me.

I flat out told him that it is difficult to see him every day. I told him he doesn't have any emotional attachment but I do and my life will be much easier when he's gone.

How selfish can you be to not know how difficult this is for me and just leave to make it easier?

He's gonna keep playing around and come home from work one day to find his stuff all on the lawn with the front door locks changed.

Bastard!

On to happier things....I am excited about the possibility of making my job a telecommuting position. This is one of my goals for 2008 to be able to work from home. This is somethinig that I have been wanting to do for a very long time. This also ties into my plans to leave Maryland in the future. If I already have a work at home job then I can EASILY move and live where ever the hell I want and that is exciting!!!

Whooo Hooo! 2008 will be a banner year and I can't wait.

I truly hope you all ushered in 2008 in fantastic form. I hope you all had a great time and were safe. I can't believe we are already into a brand new year. A brand new year means a brand new lease on life.

I've decided to do something that I have never done before during this time of year. Make a list of goals I want to accomplish in 2008. I think that will keep me focused. Something to really work toward.

It may sound strange but I am actually looking forward to making my list of goals. It's weird.

Do you guys make a list of goals you want to accomplish in any given year? How many of your goals do you actually accomplish?

As for The Analyst and I, we are in this weird gray area. I want him gone from my home like NOW so that I can begin the healing process. It's like one minute we are total strangers passing each other in the house without uttering one single word to each other then the next minute he is trying to joke with me and calling me "Babe" and other things. It's really tugging at me and confusing me and I really need him to leave. We sleep in the same bed and neither one of us has a desire to touch the other. It's really weird. I had promised him that I would give him enough time to find alternative living arrangements and I will not renege on that but it is hard for me.

Man I need strength. This is not easy at all.