Alright my lovelies, you know what day it is! It's Wednesday so we have another installment of Ask Tee. Feel free to give your insight and thoughts on the readers question or my advice.

Letter #1

Dear Tee,

I live in a two bedroom apartment that I share with my roommate. She is wonderful and we get along great. We've been good friends for the past 6 years. The problem is her boyfriend Max.

Max came over the over night when my roomie wasn't there and waited for her to come home. I was in the kitchen and he was in the living room watching TV. All of a sudden he comes into the kitchen and starts coming on to me pretty strong. I tell him to leave me alone and put him in his place to which he backed down and went back into the living room.

My question to you is should I tell my roomie what her louse of a boyfriend did?

Signed,

Want To Be Left Alone

My Answer:

Dear Want To Be Left Alone,

If you and your roommate are as close as you say then I would probably hold off on telling her just yet. Maybe your scolding of him has done the trick and he won't ever do this again.

The problem with telling a woman that her man is a lousy cheater is that without actual proof she will likely take his side and forgive him because she cares for him and it will put a rift in your relationship with her and that is not what you want. trust me, she will eventually see him for what he is and dump him on her own when she is ready.

If he comes on to you again then sit down and have a heart to heart with your roommate and let her know what has been happening but please prepare yourself that she may not believe you thus putting a strain on your friendship.

Good Luck.

If you have a situation you need advice on, just click the graphic on the sidebar or go to ask.tee@hotmail.com.

We have all at some point gone out on a night on the town with our besties. A night of dancing, eating perhaps and drinking and God knows what else. There were laughs and memories created that last a lifetime. I love hanging out with my friends and wish I had the opportunity to do it more often. I really need a new group of friends but I digress…where was I? Oh yeah.

Anyway, on one such night several years ago my bestie at the time and I decided to venture out to a hot spot in DC. Trying to park in DC is hell but once we finally did locate a parking spot we walked into the club to find it was packed, wall to wall people everywhere. No problem, I can adapt.

This club was dark, smoky and had laser lights streaming from the ceiling. It had 3 floors so of course we had to check out the happenings on each and every floor. One of the floors had some hard hitting bass and fast paced rhythmic music playing so I was all too ready to get on the dance floor and shake my butt around for awhile.

This one young man (and I used the term loosely) asked me to dance. I guess witnessing my fist pumps, head bobs and stomps gave him the sense that I needed to get to that dance floor immediately so I grabbed his extended hand and he led me to the floor. We twisted and dipped and slid all over the floor. It was a lot of fun. Then all of a sudden BAM! A slow song comes on. If any one knows me they would know that unless you are my man I don’t dance to a slow song but against my better judgment I decided to go ahead and dance with this guy. Things were fine for a while then all of a sudden I could feel his hips moving a little more then they were initially. Next I could feel something poking out at me from his pants and he kept trying to rub it against me! I jumped back to put some distance between us because obviously dude was getting a little too into the dance. Every time I would step away from him he would step up closer. I was like “Dude, if you don’t back that thing away from me we are going to have a situation on our hands.”

He backed up then when the song was over I ran away from that dance floor as fast as I could.

I thought grown ass men were able to control their hard on’s. Men, just as an FYI, that’s just nasty.

In spirit of the holidays, we here at The Diva’s Thoughts have decided to forego Ask Tee this week and resume the feature next Wednesday as scheduled so please don’t forget to send in your Ask Tee letters. All are welcomed.

What I’ve decided to do today instead is to ask you all to tell us what your favorite holiday traditions are.

I’ll go first. When I was a kid every Thanksgiving and Christmas my father would commandeer the kitchen and bake. He would bake for hours and I would love to watch him. He’d bake all kinds of cakes and pies. He’d make pecan pies and sweet potato pies and coconut cakes and chocolate cakes and so many others. The smells emanating from the kitchen were pure heaven.

I used to look forward to the holidays so that I could smell those sweet smells and see my father doing what he loved, and eating those delectable treats.

Man I miss that. Daddy, I miss you.

Happy holidays everyone!

What are your holiday traditions?

As far as I can remember growing up, we have always had family gatherings for the holidays, always. It was a time to get together, eat some good food, have some laughs and good natured ribbing. The holidays were always something to look forward to.

This year however, not so much. My brothers don't seem to have the same desire to keep the family traditions going and it saddens me a great deal.

I've always known that it was my mother that was the glue that kept our family together and that if anything ever happened to her then we would all splinter off into our own separate lives. My mother is disabled and in a nursing home. This in all likelihood will be our last holiday together and I really wanted to make this a special time for her but it's apparent that my brothers are not interested in this and it really saddens me. Not because I particularly want to see them but because I wanted this to be memorable for my mother.

My brothers will in all probability go their separate ways doing whatever they want to do for Christmas and I will maybe visit friends, after I spend time with mom of course.

This is all infuriating me to no end and also giving me the case of the blahs.

I'll be glad when this holiday season is over and I really never have to deal with my brothers again.

You know what day it is! It's Wednesday so we have another installment of Ask Tee. Feel free to give your insight and thoughts on the readers question or my advice.

Letter #1

Dear Tee,

I've been with my man for 3 years. We have a good relationship and we have a comfort level that I've never had with anybody else.

The problem is that if we are together and his phone rings I answer it. No big deal. He can answer mine too. He hates when I answer his phone. Now all of a sudden I'm starting to wonder if he has something to hide.

Should I go through his cell phone to see if there is anything incriminating in there?

Signed,

Suspicious

My Answer:

Dear Suspicious,

If you guys have been together for 3 years then hell yeah you should be able to answer his phone and vice versa.

Some people may be upset with me for what I am about to say but I am going to be one hundred percent real here and tell you that if you suspect your man has something to hide then by all means check it out. Just make sure you are prepared for what you may find. You go looking for trouble you just might find it.

Good Luck.

If you have a situation you need advice on, just click the graphic on the sidebar or go to ask.tee@hotmail.com.

Over the last several weeks, I’ve had conversations or have read an unusually high number of blog posts that make mention of a large number of people growing up in single parents homes and that seems to be the norm as opposed to a two parents home.

It seems that coming from a two parent home is quite rare these days. Out of all my friends only 3 of us had both parents in the home. I was blessed to have been raised by both of my parents in the home until my father passed away in 93.

I can’t help but wonder how this sad state of affairs came about. It was such a gradual shift in society that none of us really saw what was happening until it was too late.

Many years ago it was the standard to have both parents in the home growing up not the exception but somehow we lost sight of that. How?

Was the feminist’s movement of the 60’s responsible? Was our lowered standard regarding sexual responsibility to blame?

I obviously have more questions then answers. It’s just a shame that kids have to grow up in a world where they think that being a single parent is normal and the way things should be.

Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not talking about people that became single parents out of circumstance (divorce, widowed) but those that chose to have babies without being married and in many cases with people they hardly know.

This situation was brought to the forefront this weekend when I attended a babyshower for my girlfriend Clueless’s young niece.

As I was sitting there taking survey of my surroundings and the attendees I noticed something very interesting. Clueless’s niece, the nieces older sister and their mother (Clueless’s sister) all had children out of wedlock. All of them.

Did these young girls follow their mother’s path because she hadn’t taught them a different way? Are we all doomed to follow in our parents footsteps, repeat the same mistakes our parents did? How do we break that cycle?

How do we let our kids know that having both parents in the home raising the kids together is much more beneficial to the child’s overall well-being? Our kids are being shortchanged and it saddens me.

Awhile ago I was in a festive mood and decided to throw a little shindig at my abode and invite some friends over to partake. I have no idea what got into me but you can bet your sweet patooty that has never happened again. Anyway, I was feeling extra warm and fuzzy and took it upon myself to cook all of the food for this gathering myself as opposed to having guests bring a dish. I'm thoughtful that way.

So one by one all of my guests arrive and things are going along swimmingly. There is food, music, games and stories. Nice time was being had by all.

As the evening progressed I found myself in the kitchen talking to a few guests. One young lady who was a friend of a friend that was invited said to me, " I was a little worried about the food."

I gave her a sideways glance and asked, "Huh?" Clearly the only appropriate response to such a statement.

She goes on to further say, "You just don't look like someone that could cook." What the hell?

I mean seriously......

You know what day it is! It's Wednesday so we have another installment of Ask Tee. Feel free to give your insight and thoughts on the readers question or my advice.

Letter #1

Dear Tee,

I have a real problem. I'm a guy and I'm married to a wonderful lady. We've been married for 6 years now and have one child. I love my wife and kid, I really do.

Here's my problem, for the last 2 years I've been sleeping with the guy on my job. I feel guilty and I don't know what to do. I don't want to hurt my family but I also can't deny how I feel either. He gives me things that I didn't know were missing before and I don't want to give him up but I also don't want to give up my wife.

What can I do?

Signed,

Caught Up

My Answer:

Dear Caught Up,

Wow! This is a doosie. You absolutely have to be honest with your wife and the sooner the better.

She will undoubtedly be hurt and upset and will probably leave you but you can not go on lying to her this way. She deserves the truth. You clearly have a penchant for the same sex and it's not going away as you've had this ongoing affair for 2 years. Even if you try to hide and deny these feelings you will be unhappy and living a lie thus making your wife and child unhappy.

The longer you prolong this the worse it will be in the end. Come clean and live your life openly and honestly from here on out and no one will get hurt in the future. You can't undo the hurt you've already caused so the only thing left for you is do better from here on out.

Good Luck.

If you have a situation you need advice on, just click the graphic on the sidebar or go to ask.tee@hotmail.com.

I've selected the winner of the $25 restaurant gift card give away!! It wasn't easy as there were some pretty good entries.

The winner of the gift card is.....

Tammy of Queen Sized Funny Bone!!!

Please visit her and congratulate her on her win!!!

Great job!

For all you popular bloggers that ALWAYS seem to have a giveaway going, I got one now too so BOO YA!!!

Here at The Diva's Thoughts, we have our very first give away. I have one $25 gift card. This wonderful gift card will allow you to dine at these participating restaurants: On The Border, Chili's, Macaroni Grill, or Maggiano's. Take your pick!!!

No matter what your dining tastes are, this card will allow you to pick the restaurant that best fits your dining needs.

Since this is the Christmas season and all you can win this card and give it away as a Christmas gift and BOO YA!! You've just knocked out one gift! See how I'm always thinking about you? I'm such a giver.

So here's how you win this thing. Simply put in my comments how much you want this card. That's it! The most clever entry will win.

Also, to further boost your chances at winning, you are encouraged allowed to have others post in my comments on your behalf. How cool is that?

There you have it my little lovelies.

The contest will end on Tuesday 12/8/2009 and the winner will be announced that day.

BTW-Please be sure to add your email address to the comment so that I know how to get in touch with you to give you the gift card should you win.

Good luck!

You know what day it is! It's Wednesday so we have another installment of Ask Tee. Feel free to give your insight and thoughts on the readers question or my advice.

Letter #1

Hi Tee,

With Christmas coming I have a dilemma. I have a pretty small family and it was always our tradition to get together for Christmas. Well this year is a little different and we are not really functioning as a family at the moment and to be honest I am not really feeling the whole faking warm feelings to be around my brother and sisters. We haven't really spoken in quite awhile.

Would it be wrong to blow off Christmas? Would it be wrong to just buy my father a present, visit him then leave and not worry about the family gathering or any presents being exchanged? What do you think?

Signed,

Not feeling the Holidays

My Answer:

Dear Not Feeling The Holidays,

I totally understand where you are coming from. It's wierd that I received this email as I am going through something pretty similar in my own family. The holidays put a lot of stress on people...wondering what they should or should not do. Some feel sad because they don't have a family. This can be a very trying time for many.

Have you tried reaching out to your brother and sisters? Maybe clearing the air between you may make for cozier feelings and a desire for a family gathering. If that is not possible, since I don't really know how deep this riff is between you and your siblings, then maybe foregoing the gathering is the best. If you are not in the family holiday spirit then don't try to fake it. It will be very noticeable and you will be unhappy to boot.

Take this time to perhaps spend with friends or travel to help ease the feelings of angst you may have.

Happy Holidays!

If you have a situation you need advice on, just click the graphic on the sidebar or go to ask.tee@hotmail.com.

A couple of days ago The Diva's Thoughts published our 2009 list for the Top 10 Sexiest Women Alive. Now it's the fella's turn. We are going to spotlight the top 10 hunks for 2009 for the third year in a row to find the sexiest man alive.

These men make our hearts flutter and give us fever so without further ado let's list these gorgeous men!

#10
Robert Pattinson

With the mania that is Twilight I could not leave off this prestigious list one of the sexiest vampires out there!

#9
Columbus Short

This up an coming hottie of the silver screen has appeared in such films as Stomp The Yard and This Christmas sends my pulse racing every time I see him.




#8
Maxwell

What can we say about this crooner. He lost his signature 'fro but the sexiness and swagger is still there.



#7
Eric Dane

This Grey's Anatomy hottie makes my heart race! I can't even look him in the eyes.



#6
James Hardy

My oh my! This NFL star for the Buffalo Bills makes me weak in the knees.



#5
Tom Brady

This New England Patriots NFL player hottie is off the market ladies as he is married to Gisele Bündchen, Ms. Victoria Secret herself. That's just to much gorgeous for one household.

#4
Idris Elba

My goodness just look at this hottie! This actor has appeared in many films through out his career but he will always be Stringer Bell to us at The Diva's Thoughts.

#3
Chris Pine

This gorgeous actor has appeared in such TV and films as CSI Miami and Star Trek. I might have to became a Trekkie if I could get next to him!



#2
Alex Rodriquez

This hot and controversial baseball player is always in the news linked to a hot woman. His woman of the month is Kate Hudson. Man he gives me fever.

#1

The sexiest man of 2009!!
Will Demps

This gorgeous football player once played for Baltimore and lastly Houston. He's half Korean and half black, over 6ft tall and just too hot to look at straight on. You have to sneak in a look at him from your peripherals. Man I swear I am going to start watching football!!

There you have it ladies and gentlemen. For previous years top 10 list click here.

Well ladies and gentlemen, it is that time of year again. It is time for The Diva's Thoughts to list our top 10 sexiest women alive for 2009 for the third year in a row. In a couple of days we will list the sexiest men but this is the time for the beautiful and sexy ladies to shine.

Without further ado here is our list for The Diva's Thoughts 2009 10 Sexiest Women Alive

#10

Shakira

What can I say about this sexy singer. Her hips don't lie and neither does her sensual on an off stage presence.

#9

Audrina Patridge (from The Hills)

There is no denying this Hill star has tremendous sex appeal.



#8

Melissa Ford (Model)

All I can say about Melissa is just look at her!

#7

Beyonce

I don't even need to say anything about Ms. Bey.


#6

Rihanna

This picture speaks for itself.



#5

Janet Jackson

Janet has always been a sexy woman but she has seriously come back this year after some very tough times and proved she still has it.



#4

Megan Fox

I know that she has had some foot in mouth situations this year but there is no denying this woman is sex appeal personified.



#3

Kim Kardashian

Here's another one that needs no explanation for being on this list.



#2

Alessandra Ambrosio (Victoria Secret model)

Just look at this woman.

#1
Roslyn Sanchez

This hot and sexy latin actress sizzles every time she is on the screen which is why she is the sexiest woman of 2009?




For previous lists, please click here.

I just received this in an email and you know me...I HAD to share. I'm a giver you know.

BTW- The top 10 sexiest women list is coming out in an hour!


1. Don't get in line asking questions about the food. 'Who made the potato salad? Is there egg in there? Are the greens fresh? Is the meat in the greens turkey or pork? Who made the macaroni and cheese? What kind of pie is that? Who made it?

Ask one question and I will punch you in your mouth, knocking out all your front teeth so you won't be able to eat anything.


2. If you can't walk or are missing any limbs, sit your ass down until someone makes your plate for you. Dinner time is not the time for you to be independent. Nibble on some damn pecans and walnuts to hold you over until someone makes you a plate.


3. If you have kids under the age of twelve, I will escort their little asses to the basement and bring their food down to them. They are not gonna tear my damn house up this year. Tell them that they are not allowed upstairs until it's time for Uncle Butch to start telling family stories about their mommas and papas. If they come upstairs for any reason except if they are bleeding to death, I will break a foot off in their asses!


4. There is going to be one prayer for Thanksgiving dinner! JUST ONE! We do not care that you are thankful that your 13 year old daughter gave birth to a healthy baby or your nephew just got out of jail. Save that talk for somebody who gives a damn. The time limit for the prayer is one minute. If you are still talking after that one minute is up, you will feel something hard come across your lips and they will be swollen for approximately 20 minutes.


5. Finish everything on your plate before you go up for seconds! If you don't, you will be cursed out and asked to stay your greedy ass home next year!


6. BRING YOUR OWN TUPPERWARE!! Don't let me catch you fixing yourself a plate in my good Tupperware knowing damn well that I will never see it again! Furthermore, if you didn't bring anything over, don't let me catch you making a plate period or there will be a misunderstanding.


7. What you came with is what you should leave with!! Do not leave my house with anything that doesn't belong to you. EVERYBODY WILL BE SUBJECTED TO A BODY SEARCH COMING AND GOING OUT OF MY DOMAIN!!!


8. Do not leave your kids so you can go hopping from house to house. This is not a DAYCARE CENTER ! There will be a kid-parent roll call every ten minutes. Any parent that is not present at the time of roll call, your child will be put outside until you come and get him or her. After 24 hours, I will call DHS on your ignorant ass!!


9. BOOK YOUR HOTEL ROOM BEFORE YOU COME INTO TOWN!! There will be no sleeping over at my house! You are to come and eat dinner and take your ass home or to your hotel room. EVERYBODY WILL GET THE HELL OUT AT 11:00 PM. You will have a 15 minute warning bell.


10. Last but not least! ONE PLATE PER PERSON!! This is not a soup kitchen. I am not trying to feed your family until Christmas dinner! You will be supervised when you fix your plate. Anything over the appropriate amount will be charged to you before you leave. There will be a cash register at the door. Thanks to Cousin Alfred and his greedy ass family, we now have a credit card machine! So VISA and MASTERCARD are now being accepted. NO FOOD STAMPS OR ACCESS CARDS YET!

OK, I am not a football fan. I don't watch it. I don't follow it. I can't tell you what a first or second down is. Hell, what is a down anyway?

With all that said I will vehemently defend and stand by my Baltimore Ravens. Those are my boys!!!

I don't tell people this but as much as I support my Ravens I have no idea who the players are on the team except for Ray Lewis. You would have to be a recluse in a nunnery to not know who Ray is. I've heard of a guy named Joe Flacco too but I have no idea what he does or anything like that. I didn't even know what dude looked like .......until tonight!

I just saw a commercial, for what I have no idea, with Joe Flacco in it. Holy Cow!!! Why didn't anybody tell me about this guy? Have you seen him?


He's some kinda tasty! I think from now on on Sunday and Monday night when the Ravens are playing I'll just have to find myself sitting in front of the TV watching my man Flacco! Hey Joe, if you are reading this, call me sometime OK?

How much do you think season tickets are?

You know what day it is! It's Wednesday so we have another installment of Ask Tee. Feel free to give your insight and thoughts on the readers question or my advice.

Letter #1

Hi Tee,

So what do I do when I'm not sure who the father of my baby is, but I know it's NOT my current boyfriends? I slept with two men, one a one night stand, the other a few nights a month stand. Obviously I didn't use protection with either of them, and now I'm 2 months pregnant and don't know who the sperm donor was. I told my current boyfriend the truth. He's fixed and the timing would have been off, so I had to come clean immediately. He's cool with it, so cool that he doesn't want me to tell either other man involved that there is a possibility one of them could be this baby's father. My current boyfriend wants to take on all the responsibility. I'm not sure how I feel about that. Do they have a right to know?

What advice would you give me? My gut says to tell the two possible fathers the truth, but being that I know nothing about the, (nor really my current) I don't know what kind of stand up fathers they might be. Do I ditch them all and go solo on the whole thing? Or let my current boyfriend be the stand in dad for as long as we date, then tell the poss. fathers to be?

Signed:

Tangled Web I Weave

My Answer:

Dear Tangled Web,

Whoo! I must say you have an amazing boyfriend and I hope you recognize that before you lose him.

My advice to you is to definitely tell the two possible fathers. They have a right to now they have a child. Also, the child really need to know who they really are, not the pieces of a seemingly perfect life you put together for your own convenience. Another thing comes to mind, there could be some serious medical issues that come out later in life that would be tremendously helpful in knowing should they rear their ugly head. Your child has a right to full disclosure.

You are blessed in that your current boyfriend will remain apart of the child's life no matter what so its a win win for you. I would just advise you to not rob the child of knowing who they are by preventing them from knowing their father.

I hope this helps and good luck!

If you have a situation you need advice on, just click the graphic on the sidebar or go to ask.tee@hotmail.com.

Before I get to my post of the day I just want to remind you that it's that time of year again!!!! The 3rd annual The Diva's Thoughts Top 10 Sexiest Women and Men Alive! I want you all to nominate who you feel is the sexiest man and woman alive. Votes submitted in the comments section will be tabulated and the winner will be announced next week so get to voting!!!

Now, on to the post for today. Several years ago I worked for a small training company as one of a few trainers on staff. We were a pretty close knit bunch. In fact I am still really good friends with one of the other trainers there named K.

Well there came a time when I felt I needed to move on to greener pastures. I found a new job and tendered my resignation.

Fast forward two weeks later and my final day had arrived. My coworkers decided to take me to dinner after work at this little local restaurant as a good bye/celebration. Who am I to say no to a party especially when it's in my honor so you bet I was there with bells on! We had a good time. The dinner was winding down but it was still early in the evening. One of my fellow coworkers named Terry decided she didn't want the party to end and suggested we go to a bar afterward. Of course I was in and so was K so the three of us ventured to downtown Baltimore.

When we walked in I immediately got a weird vibe. There was something different about this bar. Upon further inspection K and I came to realize this was a gay bar! Holy crap! I looked at K and we just shook our heads and laughed. Terry had taken us to a gay bar. I had no problem with that because nobody party like the gays! We had always suspected Terry of being gay and this just confirmed it. Keep in mind now that Terry was still "in the closet" at work as all we had to go on was our gut instincts but we knew.

It was further confirmed when Terry started chasing some chick around the bar. In Terry's defense the girl was cute. So as the night went on I found I was in desperate need of the ladies room so I asked Terry where it was. "I have to go too so I'll just go with you." she says. No problem. You know we girls always go to the bathroom in packs anyway.

We get upstairs to the bathroom and open the door and to my surprise there was only one toilet. The bathroom was like your typical one at home. Terry walks in behind me and shuts and locks the door. Oh oh! I turn around to face her and she says, "Oh yeah, there is only one toilet. You go ahead and use it first and I'll just turn around." Alrighty then. I finished my business and walked over to the sink to wash my hands and as I am doing so Terry starts her business. I kept my eyes as far away from the direction of the toilet as possible.

During this whole time we are making idle conversation. During this conversation she decided THIS was the perfect time to spill her guts and let me in on a little "secret". "I just wanted to let you know that I"m gay." You have me hold up in a bathroom alone and you think THIS is the right time to come out. Oy vey! I act as if I had no idea she was gay. It was an Oscar worthy performance people. Then she proceeds to say, "Don't tell K because I don't want the others at work to know." You have a butch haircut, masculine clothing and you take us to a gay bar and you think K has no idea you are gay? Way to keep it under wraps Terry.

For those of you that are contemplating coming out, it might not be the best time to divulge this information while hold up in a bathroom. I'm just saying.

You know what day it is! It's Wednesday so we have another installment of Ask Tee. Feel free to give your insight and thoughts on the readers question or my advice.

Letter #1

Dear Tee,

My girlfriend is constantly out with her friends, or on the phone with them telling them our business. I mean she tells all of our personal business and it is starting to really bug me. How do I tell her to keep our business just between us and not spread it around the whole damn city without starting World War III?

Sincerely,
Pissed Off Boyfriend

My Answer:

Dear Pissed Off,

Give her an open handed slap across the mouth! No, I am just kidding...no violence please. Simply sit her down and tell her that you love her but you feel _________ when she divulges intimate details of your relationship. Sometimes we women do share a little too much with our girlfriends. Tell her exactly how it makes you feel.

If she refuses to see the error of her ways then you really have to think whether or not this woman is the right one for you. A woman who loves, cherishes and respects you would not want to make you feel uncomfortable in the least. Just something to think about.

Take care!

If you have a situation you need advice on, just click the graphic on the sidebar or go to ask.tee@hotmail.com.

I was at the hospital recently visiting my mother when I decided to go to the cafeteria to get something to eat. I walked in, choose my food then proceeded to the check out. I was sitting down minding my own business when a guy walks up to me and says that the chef wanted to know if I was married or dating anyone. Why did I have a flashback to junior high but that's another story.

I said no and the guy came back with the chef's name and number. Great. He seems fine and all but with everything going on right now I have not had time to call him.

Because of that I can't show my face around that damn cafeteria because dude is gonna question me on why I haven't called him. Dagnabit! How would I answer him..." Uuuhhhh, see, what had happened was...uuhhhh.....I was busy.." Yeah, original.

Now I have to have someone else go in and buy me lunch or dinner and run pass really quick so he doesn't see me. Sometimes it's really hard carrying all this lusciousness around.

You know what day it is! It's Wednesday so we have another installment of Ask Tee. Feel free to give your insight and thoughts on the readers question or my advice.

Letter #1

Dear Tee,

I have been a relationship with my this guy for nine months. Everything was going well until he checked his voice mail and I overheard a message that a young lady left on his phone. I really do love this guy but I don't want to be hurt if he is cheating on me. What should I do? Should I let it go or hear what he has to say?

Sincerely,
Confused in Mississippi

My Answer:

Dear Confused in Mississippi,

Overhearing a message from someone we view as a potential rival for our loved ones affection can definitely throw us for a loop. It makes us jealous and insecure.

With that said, we have to work extra hard to not overreact in these situations. In your letter you never mentioned the particulars of the message. Was it flirtatious? Was she thanking him for a wonderful evening? Without knowing the content of the message I can't go any further then to say talk to him. Ask your man what the call was about. As his woman you have a right to know. Ask him straight out if he is seeing someone else. Watch his actions and mannerisms here instead of his words. That will tell you everything you will need to know.

Let your instincts drive you here. Our female intuitions are never wrong so listen to them.

Good luck!


Letter #2

Dear Tee,

My man and I have been together for 3 years. We have a great sex life but lately he's been getting kinkier then usual. He's been asking to tie me up during sex and he wants a little rear end action if you know what I mean.

I don't know if I should or not. What should I think about this?

Signed Scared of the Freak

My Answer:

Dear Scared of the Freak,

Girl are you crazy!! Your man just wants to add a little spice to the relationship so you better get on board or else someone else will be glad to fulfill his fantasies.

Now, although I definitely think you should be open to new things I don't think you should do something you feel fundamentally goes against your principals and moral upbringing. Think
about it, discuss with your man and happy exploring!!

If you have a situation you need advice on, just click the graphic on the sidebar or go to ask.tee@hotmail.com.

Yesterday a coworker and I went on a client site visit for a benefits fair. Since we are one of their vendors they wanted us onsite at their fair to help support employees with benefits questions.

Everything was going along swimmingly until towards the end of the day. One of the employees of the company walks in to the room where we were stationed and made small talk. He made some reference to it being close to the end of the day and I simply agreed with him and said, "Yeah, we are going to be wrapping things up pretty soon." Why oh why did my untactful coworker blurt out, "And I can't wait!! Boy I can't wait to leave!"

I never begged for a hole to swallow me up harder then I did that very moment. Oye Vey!

Another Installment of Ask Tee.


Letter #1

Dear Tee,

My husband was hurt in a fall and although we live together we no longer have an emotional or sexual relationship of any kind. I do feel obligated to take care of him but do these circumstances justify me looking elsewhere for love and sex?

Starved for affection

My Answer:

Dear Starved for Affection

I think you should have a heart to heart talk with your husband. Let him know exactly how you feel about the situation. I'm not sure of the extent of his injuries or his situation but if he is unable to perform sexually that is no reason he can not find other ways to fulfill you. As a married couple, we must have the connection that true intimacy brings. We have to have that in order to be fulfilled. There are so many practices, techniques and devices that allow us to maintain our connections with our partners once the physicality is gone.

I take marriage vows seriously and believe you stick it out during the good and bad times but both parties have to do their part.

If your husband is unwilling to connect with you on a meaningful level then he is essentially breaking the marriage vows you took together.

If you feel you can not go on in this situation then be honest and tell him you must seek love and affection elsewhere. I'm not saying abandon him. Hopefully telling him what you need and coming up with suggestions on how to reconnect will help you both.

Communication is the best way to go. Be upfront with him.

I hope this helps.


Letter #2

Dear Tee,

My little sister has been dealing with a lot of drama lately. I kind of find it
amusing, but I decided to write in for her sake:

What advice do you have for my sister whose friend promised to make her life hell? It all started when my sister fell madly in love with her crazy friend's ex-boyfriend. The friend cheated on him and broke up with him over a year ago. When she found out that the 2 had been flirting online and really liked each other, she freaked out. My sister is afraid she'll get her tires slashed. I think her friend will just talk bad about her to everyone they know.

My Answer:

First, it's pretty obvious that this "friend" of your sister's is really possessive and hasn't given up on this guy. I have a question of my own, how close was your sister and her friend? If they were very close as in best friends then your sister should not go there with the ex-boyfriend even if it has been a year since they split. My friends and I would never date the others ex-boyfriends no matter how much time has passed. Just safer and respectful that way.

However, if your sister and this friend weren't really all that close then this girl needs to get over it. The ex-boyfriend needs to be a man and intervene and make it clear to this girl that they are over and not to interfere or spread gossip about your sister. If that does not work, gather information on incidences and take it to the police for a restraining order. This girl could really be psycho.

Good luck to your sister on this.

If you have a situation you need advice on, just click the graphic on the sidebar or go to ask.tee@hotmail.com.

Kids have always grappled with drug use and peer pressure since we can all remember. A teenager makes friends with a certain crowd, that crowd dabbles in a little drug use so the teen follows suite not wanting to be singled out.

Back in my day I was no different. Although my close friends did not partake in drugs I “encountered” random people that did use drugs occasionally. I remember being in high school one sunny afternoon and I was hanging out in a stairwell with some classmates during lunch. These particular classmates decided to smoke a joint right there. I was a little taken aback but I always go with the flow and I can adapt easily. No worries. They began passing this joint around and when it reached me I kindly declined. The one person that I was closest to yelled out, “Oh come on Tee, don’t be a square.” That did not persuade me one way or the other, I was steadfast and the others continued getting high while I watched on.

It was easy for me to say no on that day. It was easy because I was literally afraid. Scared out of my mind. Scared of what you may ask….scared to death my parents would find out and kick my little ass that’s what!

My parents had the uncanny ability to know what I was doing and when. It amazed me that I could walk into the house at any given time and my mother would ask, “ Why did you do that today?” and I’d just look at her in stunned silence. They would never give up their sources. My parents didn’t play. My father was straight old school and believed in kicking a kid’s ass.

I say this to say that parents, YOU are the deterrent your kids need to not take drugs. Instill a little fear in them and they will not step out of line. It sure as hell worked for me.

As mentioned in the text message displayed across this here blog, I've begun a new feature named "Ask Tee". Ask Tee is an advice column of sorts. You can ask any question,serious or not so much and I will give you my uncensored opinion on the matter.

I received a few really good letters but had to narrow it down to the two we will address today. Without further ado here is Ask Tee letter #1:

Dear Tee,

I have been with this guy for 7 years. I love him dearly but he changes the subject every time I approach the subject of marriage. What should I do? I love him but I think I am wasting my time.

Signed Never A Bride

My Response:

Dear Never A Bride,

How can I put this delicately.....leave! If he has not expressed any interest in marrying you and it's been 7 years, you are clearly wasting your time.


Ask Tee Letter #2

Dear Tee,

My best friend of 5 years stole $150 from my purse. Should I beat her down?

Signed I Need My Money

My Response:

Dear I Need My Money,

Uummmm, yeah! She is clearly no friend of yours.

If you have a situation you need advice on, just click the graphic on the sidebar or go to ask.tee@hotmail.com.

It has become increasingly clear to me recently that people just don't know what they want. I know that statement can be attributed to both men and women but my focus today is on men.

Men really don't know what they want. I'm not even sure they realize that themselves. Let's narrow down this statement further and zero in on their dating habits. Men join dating sites under the guise of wanting to find a mate but what they really want is just another one night stand or prolonged booty call partner that's at their disposal.

I have several single female friends and they all have the exact same complaint. The men they meet have just one goal and that is to get them into bed.

Whatever happened to waiting on that, getting to know each other first? If you were serious about wanting a mate then you wouldn't be so quick to rush things. Just my observation.

As of recent I have developed a total disdain for Slomin's Shield security. In my opinion they are nothing more then unsympathetic shysters. Apparently I am not the only on who feels this way. Here's the back story.

A few years ago my mother decided to install an alarm system in her home provided by Slomin's. Everything was going well until she took ill and became disabled. She was forced to move into an Assistant Living facility. Her health has since declined to the point I am now looking into a nursing home for her. Since she moved out of her home She stopped paying for an alarm system she was not going to use. She informed Slomin's that she no longer needed their services.

Apparently Slomin's contract they had her sign was for 5 years and she completed 2 years on that contract. They were trying to force her to pay for 3 years of service that she could not use. They began legal proceedings against this woman. Nice.

When I saw the legal papers I called Slomin's then the attorney's representing Slomin's myself to inform them that my mother was disabled, living in a home and bed ridden. They did not want to hear of this and forced the issue.

They set a court date for last week and I attended on my mothers behalf. I explained to the judge my mothers situation but to no avail. Slomin's received what the judge called an "empty judgement" against my mother since they could not attach her disability payments although if they could those bastards would have.

I am really pissed off that these bastards go around suing people that should never be sued. My mother did not choose to get sick and disabled. She did not choose to have to move into a nursing home.

Slomin's Shield security are a bunch of crooks going around ruining peoples credit. Just read what the others had to say.

Please do not ever choose to purchase a Slomin's security system you will be very sorry.

Recently on Twitter there were a barrage of tweets going around on the subject of women feeling bitter when the man they had been with for many years, in some cases, leaves them for another woman and marries her pretty rapidly.

Now let me make myself perfectly clear, if I was dating a man for say a year or three and he suddenly leaves me for another woman then shortly after that marries her, I'd be pretty damn bitter. Suffice to say he'd better get someone to start his car in the morning and taste test his food but I digress.

Now let's go a step further and say we were together for 7 or more years then he leaves. I'd have no one but myself to blame in that case. After 8 years its pretty clear the guy is not interested in marrying me so I should have extricated myself from this relationship a long time ago. Let's be honest, it does not take a guy 5, 6, 7 or more years to decide if he wants to marry you. It just does not. If he truly wants to marry you he would have made his intentions very clear much earlier. I hate to be the one to tell you this but he is only biding his time until the right one comes along.

Ladies, if you stick with him for all those years without the commitment of marriage and that is clearly what you want then you are cheating yourself.

I have a policy that if I am with a guy for 2 years or so and he has not broached the subject of marriage I am vacating pretty damn quick. I'm not wasting 7 plus years on a man to have him leave for another woman and marry her within a year. No, that will not be me. Those are too many precious years wasted that I can't get back and that is what causes bitterness. The wasted years.

Take heed ladies, don't waste precious years on a dead end relationship. Find someone who will be glad to marry you, not because you coerced him.

A recent incident has come to light that warrants my having to revisit some basic, fundamental hygiene concepts with you.

Recently, a good friend of mine K informed me that she was in a public bathroom in a restaurant when she heard a woman and a small child enter the restroom then into a stall. K completed her business and proceeded to the sink to wash her hands. As doing so she observed the woman and the small child exit the stall then look at K and exit out the door. WITHOUT WASHING THEIR HANDS!

Dear Nasty Lady That Did Not Wash Her Hands!

I don't have enough words to describe how disgusting you are. You know you are the same nasty heifer that would prepare all types of food for your company’s potluck lunch and watch all of your coworkers eat that food knowing you never washed your hands. Do you really think infecting your coworkers and family with Ecoli is the right way to go?

On top of that you are teaching your child that not washing his/her hands is ok. You went back to your table and proceeded to put food in your mouths using those nasty hands.

I beg of you, wash you hands when you use the restroom. Do you even realize the real hazard you not only put yourself in but everyone that eats food you prepared or shakes your hand?

Nasty ass people. UGH.

Sincerely,
Tee aka The Diva’s Thoughts

Growing up I have always looked much younger then my actual age. As I got older It was a regular occurrence to have someone say to me "Wow! I had no idea you were that age. You look so much younger." I enjoyed that.

Then it became burdensome because I was an adult but people would think of me as a youngster. Not so cool.

Now that I am even older (shut up!) I almost never get the "Wow! I had no idea you were that age. You look so much younger." comment. Now I'm starting to think. 'Am I starting to look my age?' Aaaww hell! You all know we women get thrown out to pasture when we get past our prime.

This situation calls for drastic measures. I've decided to have plastic surgery to restore my youth. You read right. I'm turning back the clocks 20 years people!! Don't be jealous, you can help.

I've decided to setup up a plastic surgery fund to which you all can contribute. If I don't start hearing those "You look young" comments and soon I'm going to go postal around here.

Thanks in advance for your contribution to my plastic surgery fund...Send all contributions to The Diva's Thoughts c/o Bank Of America, PO Box ANYWHERE, Main Town USA, 21223. You all are the bestest.

Now all I have to do is find a young hottie to seduce. Chase Crawford or Zac Efron comes to mind.