My Date With A Serial Killer

My weekend was a very interesting one to say the least. I’ll fill you in on part of it now and the other shenanigans later this week.

I’ll start off with the breaking news flash that I had a date. Before you get all excited keep reading.

First, his appearance led you to believe this guy was a mild mannered, unassuming, Mr. McGoo (pitcured above) type. He had these dorky glasses and was very thin and probably the nerdiest, uncool guy you would ever want to meet.

I thought to myself, ‘Ok, he’s not my type but I’ll roll with the evening anyway because that’s what I do….I’m a roller.

Anyway, the more he talked the more of his Charles Manson personality came out. It was scary to see this transformation. I kept thinking to myself, ‘Oh my goodness, I’m on a date with a serial killer!’ I can totally see him cutting my body up into a million little pieces and putting them in trash bags.

He began telling me how a friend of his that he hadn’t seen in 20 years showed up out of the blue at his custody hearing a couple years ago and testified on his ex wife’s behalf against him. He felt betrayed. His friend expressed to the judge how Mr. McGoo had a quick temper. Hmmmmm. Red flag #1.

Then he tells me how he hates the dating scene especially clubs. He, apparently, asked a young lady to dance at a local night spot and she declined but a few short minutes later another guy asked the same young lady to dance and she accepted. He felt so angry that after she got back to her table he felt the need to go up to her and "cuss her out" for not accepting his invitation. Red flag # 2.

He then proceeds to tell me about not one but 3 coworkers he had to “cuss out” because they angered him in some way. Red flag #3.

According to him, his ex wife used his kids against him to the point where he does not have any contact with his children whatsoever. Hmmmmm…. Red flag #4.

As he is talking and moving from one story to the next I’m just taking this all in and notice that his facial expressions change rapidly from happy to mad as hell and it’s actually quite frightening to witness. Red flag #5.

I ate as quickly as possible and ended my date with Charles Mansion with the mindset that hell will freeze over before I ever lay eyes on him again.