OK, so I have a really good friend that I love dearly. Sometimes she can be a little off base and a little paranoid but I love her nonetheless. She has an 18 year old daughter and a beautiful 3 year old who I want to kidnap and just squeeze because she is just too adorable. Anyway, her 18 year old daughter has this boyfriend who at first her parents loved but later proved to be very irresponsible and disrespectful. In the age old tradition of love lorned teenagers everywhere since the beginning of time who's parents want them apart they have stayed together and professed their undying love.
It got so bad that the daughter moved out of her parents house and moved in with her boyfriend and his parents. Obviously my friend and her husband are really upset but there is nothing neither of them can do at this point. As you might imagine she got pregnant. Neither of them are employed so this is going to be difficult. The daughter calls her mother from time to time hoping to get some support from her but my friend is very stoic when she calls and very matter of fact and unyielding. Mind you this is the girls first child so she really needs her mother right now but my friend is so not getting involved with this situation at all.
The boyfriends mother put them out and they stayed with his friend for awhile. I asked her if she would let her daughter come back home and she said she'd have to break up with him first before that can happen. I wanted to shout at the top of my lungs that you are sooooo wrong for that. I understand that you don't like dude but the fact is now he is going to be the father of your first grandchild. You can not ask this guy to break up with his girlfriend and leave her stranded with a baby because they will not allow him in their house. THAT would be terribly wrong. Now is the time for them to shut up, bite the bullet and accept the situation and make the best of it. There will soon be a child involved. Oy vey.
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Wednesday, March 16, 2011
You Are So Wrong
Posted by Diva's Thoughts at 10:59 AM
7 People saying stuff:
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The parent is being too damn stubborn and really acting way more childlike if anything. This is your child we're talking about. So she made you mad but you're still her parent and you still need to show some form of authority. Does she think she's teaching her daughter a "lesson" by having her move from house to house while pregnant?? This will cause resentment if anything! She needs to get her daughter back into the house and get a handle on this situation.
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March 16, 2011 at 11:53 AM
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I came very near to this situation with my own daughter. I thank God every day that she broke up with the loser before she ended up pregnant, but had she....I would have taken her in and loved her unconditionally, though it would have killed me to support his good for nothing ass.
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March 16, 2011 at 11:53 AM
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I can understand why the parents -or just the mother -feels this strongly but still, as you said, there's an innocent baby gonna be in the mix shortly and who on earth would want their grandchild to be born and be homeless from the very beginning? My Mom didn't like my ex-husband from the first time she met him, raised cain with me and I married him anyway and yes, she was right to a degree about him but to her credit, she loved her grandchildren dearly. I've not always been happy about my kids choices either but knew enough not to get too radical with them about that stuff cause I knew it would drive the kid that much closer then to the person I felt was a bad choice. Sometimes we parents have to do things we don't like but especially when there are babies, small children involved, you have to put your own feelings aside and make the best of bad situations then. Hope you can convince your friend to be a little more forgiving of the daughter cause as you said, she really does need her mother right now! (And always will, for that matter.)
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March 16, 2011 at 12:31 PM
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Okay, I see what everyone is saying but I have a problem with unconditional love. I have a stepmother who loves her son 'unconditionally'. He is a drunk. He can't hold a job. He lives at home at age 32 with his 10 year old son. Most of the time he's too hung over and just plain lazy to even dress his son and get him ready for school.
In this case, Tee I would not want my child in the street but she wouldn't come home unconditionally. There would have to be rules and conditions and she would have to follow them. Period. -
March 16, 2011 at 3:12 PM
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As I read this, I remember the times I bent over for my daughter and she wasn't even pregnant.
Given the situation, (and WHY isn't pregnancy the thing teenagers make sure to avoid at all costs?) abandoning the girl now is the height of abusive, cruel and uncharitable actions I can imagine. -
March 17, 2011 at 9:15 AM
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I'm going to be the odd ball out. I would support my daughter and grandchild and welcome them with open arms but I would not take the boyfriend into my house. It is my house and I did not create the situation they are in. I would take care of my own but would not be uncomfortable in my own house to accommodate my daughters choice in men.
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March 17, 2011 at 11:13 PM
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Babies need two parents when it's possible. And it sounds like both the kids need to grow up a bit... what better way than to take them in and gently teach them?
The poor little one is the innocent party in all this. -
April 9, 2011 at 11:24 PM
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