Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Yeah I'm Petty, So What!

OK, so I have two wonderful nieces that I love dearly. There's a third one but she is a little materialistic pain in the ass right now so she is not among the chosen few right now. So anyway, my two nieces are coming to visit me in a couple of weeks and I can not wait. I love those girls. Before I left Baltimore I left my Nissan behind and gave it to my 16 year old niece because she is currently going through the right of passage we all go through of getting her drivers license. YAAYYY!! I am so proud of her.

Anyway, my brother took her to MVA and she got her permit! SCORE! I was on facebook and was immediately set aback. First of all, she won't "friend" me on facebook. She doesn't want a bunch of "old people' on her facebook page but I saw that she "friended" her grandmother and her two other aunts from her mothers side. Excuse me! Then on top of that, her other aunt (a few years younger then me but whateves) took pictures of my baby behind the wheel of the car I gave her talking about how, "My baby's growing up" yadda yadda yadda. I'm gonna stab her in her eye with a pencil.

Is it wrong that I want to be her only aunt and I want the others to go away? She's my baby not theirs. Yeah, I know I'm petty but I don't care. She's mine dammit!

You Mean What?

Hello my bloghearts. I was reading a blog I read on occasion,, and found one of his posts quite entertaining. He decided to tell us 5 things men commonly say and what they really mean so I had to hijack his post and post it here too.

(Taken straight from NWSO)

(1) “I’ll Call You Later”

The problem with this statement is interpretation, or better yet misinterpretation. While men will define the word “later” as any time after now, women tend to have a specific window of time that defines “later” as meaning as soon as I reach my destination. It’s like somewhere between the words leaving a man’s mouth (or fingers via text) and reaching a woman’s ears, she adds an additional word like “tonight” after “later.” When I say, “I’ll call you later,” it doesn’t guarantee that later will take place within the next 24 hours just what it means, I’ll call you later—whenever that may be.

Translation: He’ll call when he has the time or remembers.

(2) “I’ve Been Busy”

Now this is often the first thing a man says when he hasn’t called a woman “later.” It’s actually a very valid reason when there’s major life catastrophes going on (death in the family, moving, new job, moonlighting as a superhero, etc.) but more times than not “busy” just means occupied with something (or someone) else. We’ve all heard the saying that a man makes time for the things he’s interested, right? Well, unless he’s Bruce Wayne that’s generally true.

Translation: He’s probably not that into you.

(3) “Wow, That’s Interesting

Chances are whatever you’re talking about is actually pretty darn interesting, unfortunately only to you. However, since it’s apparently important to you he’ll play along and fake interest just for the possibility of scoring with you.

Translation: Sorry, I wasn’t listening and I couldn’t care less.

(4) “I’m Not Looking For a Relationship”

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again; men usually tell women where their head is from jump but most women just tend to ignore what we say. If a man tells you on the first date that he’s not in a space where he’s looking for a relationship but you are and still pursue this man for a commitment down the line; who’s at fault when things don’t work out? Exactly, you. What some women try to do is trick themselves into believing he’ll change his mind, but most men generally stick to their guns and if you stick around after he declares his desire to stay single he’s not wrong in assuming you’re with it. When I broke up with my last girlfriend after college I told myself I needed to be single and made that clear to any woman I met. While I may have been upset at the few that walked away after a few months because they wanted more, at the end of the day I respected their decision to do so because it made sense.

Translation: He’s telling you the truth

(5) “What Are You Talking About?”

This is my general response when I’m being accused of something that’s probably true but I won’t admit to for whatever reason. For instance, a date asks, “Why were you looking at another woman’s butt?” My response, “What are you talking about?” It’s usually a knee-jerk response that I subconsciously use to kill time so I can come up with a valid excuse. It also works well at transferring the focus from me to her by making her think she’s crazy and/or paranoid. By time she’s finished defending herself, she’s either forgotten my discretion or I’ve had time to come up with an reasonably valid excuse.

Translation: He’s lying. ”

Boom! My gift to you ladies. See, now you can't say I never gave you anything. Enjoy!

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Brunch With The Ladies

Last weekend I went to brunch with a bunch of really nice ladies. I had a great time. We went to this french cafe bistro called Le Madeline in Dunwoody. The food was really good and the conversation with the ladies was nice.

Here is a picture we took to commemorate our gathering. I'm soooo not going to tell you which one is me. If enough of you guess and actually guess correctly I MIGHT change my mind.

I'm devious I know.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

I've Come To A Conclusion...

I've come to a conclusion after this weekend. My aunt from Alabama came over and visited my other aunt here in Georgia. They called me to tell me she was in town and the next day I went over to see them both. I had a really good time hanging out with them. It's always good being around family. All of a sudden the subject of food came up. My aunts asked me if I had ever eaten fried pickles. I looked at them both as if they had lost their mind. Seriously. Fried pickles?

So they decided to take it upon themselves to fry up a batch for me to try. So here I am waiting for the fried pickles to come up from the fryer thinking, 'What the hell have I gotten myself into?'

So the first batch arrives onto the table and I look at them with apprehension. They all look at me as if to say, 'Go ahead, take one.' So I buckled under the pressure and took one. I popped it into my mouth and started chewing. I must say it wasn't too bad. My cousin then pipes up and says, "It tastes better with ranch dressing." and he proceeds to go to the refrigerator and grabs a bottle of ranch dressing and I try it and it was actually pretty good.

I've come to the conclusion that people in the south will fry anything!

Friday, March 18, 2011

You Have Got to Be Kidding Me

OK, I saw an episode of Prison Wives on OWN last night. All I can say is wow. The show is about women who are married to men in prison.

This particular woman from last night had 3 children. She met a man who is serving a life sentence without parole for murder. She received a request to write this guy and she did. The writing progressed to the point of "dating" then eventually marriage. There is so much wrong with this I can't even write it all down.

First of all, why the hell would you want to write a man serving life in prison for murder that you have never met? Secondly, why would you marry a man in prison you only knew for 6 months? Thirdly, why would you subject your kids to the prison world? What message are you sending your kids? I mean really.

This woman has a 16 year old daughter and a 10 year old daughter and a 13 year old son and she takes them to prison for visits. Wow!

I'm sorry but there is no way in hell I would ever become pen pals with some stranger in prison for murder serving a life term. No way. I certainly would never subject my kids to visiting said man in prison. My kids would never, ever see the inside of a prison as long as they are minors under my roof. Never, ever!

This woman is setting a really great example for her kids I tell ya. I was so out done with this story that I could not stop shaking my head.

It was also mentioned that every time her husband was transferred to a different prison, she would uproot the kids and move them so that they could be closer to the new prison. They moved 5 times in 3 years. Unbelievable.

Here is the kicker, this woman has mother that asked her daughters inmate husband if there was a guy SHE could write too also. Are you kidding me? This woman ALSO married this prisoner. I just can't.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

You Are So Wrong

OK, so I have a really good friend that I love dearly. Sometimes she can be a little off base and a little paranoid but I love her nonetheless. She has an 18 year old daughter and a beautiful 3 year old who I want to kidnap and just squeeze because she is just too adorable. Anyway, her 18 year old daughter has this boyfriend who at first her parents loved but later proved to be very irresponsible and disrespectful. In the age old tradition of love lorned teenagers everywhere since the beginning of time who's parents want them apart they have stayed together and professed their undying love.

It got so bad that the daughter moved out of her parents house and moved in with her boyfriend and his parents. Obviously my friend and her husband are really upset but there is nothing neither of them can do at this point. As you might imagine she got pregnant. Neither of them are employed so this is going to be difficult. The daughter calls her mother from time to time hoping to get some support from her but my friend is very stoic when she calls and very matter of fact and unyielding. Mind you this is the girls first child so she really needs her mother right now but my friend is so not getting involved with this situation at all.

The boyfriends mother put them out and they stayed with his friend for awhile. I asked her if she would let her daughter come back home and she said she'd have to break up with him first before that can happen. I wanted to shout at the top of my lungs that you are sooooo wrong for that. I understand that you don't like dude but the fact is now he is going to be the father of your first grandchild. You can not ask this guy to break up with his girlfriend and leave her stranded with a baby because they will not allow him in their house. THAT would be terribly wrong. Now is the time for them to shut up, bite the bullet and accept the situation and make the best of it. There will soon be a child involved. Oy vey.

Monday, March 14, 2011

I Got Ambushed

So, my girlfriend and her husband called me on Saturday morning and asked if I wanted to go shopping and to dinner with them for the day. I was like "hellz yeah!" Food and shopping, that's a dream day for me.

So we do our shopping and it's going great. We get to the restaurant for dinner and my friends husband uses the word "they'll" be here soon. Excuse me. I thought it was just us. I asked them, "So, how many of us is it going to be?" He says "About 12 or so. My brothers, aunts, grandmother." I was like "Oh". My girlfriend was all "Sorry." Umm, yeah. I'm being ambushed.

It turned out well and I actually had a good time. The food was amazing so it was all good.

Old people are too cute. One of my friends brother in laws was looking at email that had come through on his cell phone and his aunt looked at him and asked, "What are you doing over there?" He said, "Oh, just checking email." She said, "You can get email on that thing?" Aawwww old people, you gotta love 'em.

Friday, March 11, 2011

Wow! This Place Sure Is Different.

I know, I know....I haven't posted in AWHILE. Sorry about that folks. I've been trying to get situated and find a groove. So here is a little update. I promise to be more consistant.

I am really liking it here in GA although within the first 20 days I was here I got sick twice. Yep, twice. Not fun. I guess my body has to get used to the GA environment.

Another thing I have to get used to is liquor. In Baltimore our grocery stores do not have alcohol in them. None of them. You actually have to go to a liquor store to buy alcohol. Not here. No matter where you go you see alcohol. Grocery store, alcohol, Rite Aid, alcohol, CVS, alcohol. Alcohol everywhere! I even saw a drive thru liquor store. I shit you not. I was driving down a street and saw cars going through a drive thru. I first thought it was a car wash and got all geeked because I have YET to find a car wash. Do people in GA wash their cars? I mean geesh! But I digress. Upon closer inspection I realized it was a drive thru liquor store. People every time I think I've seen it all something else happens and blows it out of the water. Wow.

Another thing I have to get used to is the damn police everywhere. They are like cock roaches. No matter where you go cops are pulling someone over. In my first two weeks here I got my first speeding ticket. I mean seriously! Driving the speed limit is painful. I'm not sure I can do this. Welcome to GA.

I'm not in Kansas anymore.