Wednesday, September 30, 2009

We Stay Too Long

Recently on Twitter there were a barrage of tweets going around on the subject of women feeling bitter when the man they had been with for many years, in some cases, leaves them for another woman and marries her pretty rapidly.

Now let me make myself perfectly clear, if I was dating a man for say a year or three and he suddenly leaves me for another woman then shortly after that marries her, I'd be pretty damn bitter. Suffice to say he'd better get someone to start his car in the morning and taste test his food but I digress.

Now let's go a step further and say we were together for 7 or more years then he leaves. I'd have no one but myself to blame in that case. After 8 years its pretty clear the guy is not interested in marrying me so I should have extricated myself from this relationship a long time ago. Let's be honest, it does not take a guy 5, 6, 7 or more years to decide if he wants to marry you. It just does not. If he truly wants to marry you he would have made his intentions very clear much earlier. I hate to be the one to tell you this but he is only biding his time until the right one comes along.

Ladies, if you stick with him for all those years without the commitment of marriage and that is clearly what you want then you are cheating yourself.

I have a policy that if I am with a guy for 2 years or so and he has not broached the subject of marriage I am vacating pretty damn quick. I'm not wasting 7 plus years on a man to have him leave for another woman and marry her within a year. No, that will not be me. Those are too many precious years wasted that I can't get back and that is what causes bitterness. The wasted years.

Take heed ladies, don't waste precious years on a dead end relationship. Find someone who will be glad to marry you, not because you coerced him.

Monday, September 28, 2009

Open Letter To Women Everywhere

A recent incident has come to light that warrants my having to revisit some basic, fundamental hygiene concepts with you.

Recently, a good friend of mine K informed me that she was in a public bathroom in a restaurant when she heard a woman and a small child enter the restroom then into a stall. K completed her business and proceeded to the sink to wash her hands. As doing so she observed the woman and the small child exit the stall then look at K and exit out the door. WITHOUT WASHING THEIR HANDS!

Dear Nasty Lady That Did Not Wash Her Hands!

I don't have enough words to describe how disgusting you are. You know you are the same nasty heifer that would prepare all types of food for your company’s potluck lunch and watch all of your coworkers eat that food knowing you never washed your hands. Do you really think infecting your coworkers and family with Ecoli is the right way to go?

On top of that you are teaching your child that not washing his/her hands is ok. You went back to your table and proceeded to put food in your mouths using those nasty hands.

I beg of you, wash you hands when you use the restroom. Do you even realize the real hazard you not only put yourself in but everyone that eats food you prepared or shakes your hand?

Nasty ass people. UGH.

Tee aka The Diva’s Thoughts

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Do I Look As Good As I Think I Do?

Growing up I have always looked much younger then my actual age. As I got older It was a regular occurrence to have someone say to me "Wow! I had no idea you were that age. You look so much younger." I enjoyed that.

Then it became burdensome because I was an adult but people would think of me as a youngster. Not so cool.

Now that I am even older (shut up!) I almost never get the "Wow! I had no idea you were that age. You look so much younger." comment. Now I'm starting to think. 'Am I starting to look my age?' Aaaww hell! You all know we women get thrown out to pasture when we get past our prime.

This situation calls for drastic measures. I've decided to have plastic surgery to restore my youth. You read right. I'm turning back the clocks 20 years people!! Don't be jealous, you can help.

I've decided to setup up a plastic surgery fund to which you all can contribute. If I don't start hearing those "You look young" comments and soon I'm going to go postal around here.

Thanks in advance for your contribution to my plastic surgery fund...Send all contributions to The Diva's Thoughts c/o Bank Of America, PO Box ANYWHERE, Main Town USA, 21223. You all are the bestest.

Now all I have to do is find a young hottie to seduce. Chase Crawford or Zac Efron comes to mind.

Friday, September 18, 2009

Just Clean Up Will Ya....

I was invited to a friends house recently for dinner. I had no idea what was on the menu and I could care less, it was just nice to not have to cook for once. Who the hell am I kidding you all know I wasn't going to cook anyway.

Anyhow, I text him and asked what I should bring because you all know just how classy I am and he informed me to just bring myself. That I could do.

So the appointed hour arrived and I pulled up in front of his house to find him standing in the door looking out for me. Mind you, I had never been to his house before so I wasn't sure what to expect. With men it's a crap shoot as to how their homes will look. I've seen some men have immaculate homes and others should have been condemned by the health department. I think all men should attend a decorating and housekeeping class for bachelors before they are allowed to move into their first homes and certainly before they start bringing women over but I digress.

So I park my car and walk up to his porch and he gives me a welcoming hug. So far so good. I step inside and immediately regretted I even accepted this date.

First off, the house is old (built in the 1950's) and seemed to have the same stairs and kitchen from when it was first built. Can we say renovation please?

I lie to you not, the kitchen had the old metal cabinets painted white circa 1952 and one of them was coming off the hinges. Nice. He also had an old ratty bathroom in the kitchen. Yuck!

The carpet needed vacuuming, badly. As I was surveying the scenery I looked down at the carpet and saw a brown bug crawling across the floor. You have no idea how bad I just wanted to turn around and bolt out that door screaming for dear life but I pulled it together.

After seeing this mess I was in no mood to eat. I literally lost my appetite. I faked it though. I forced myself to eat a respectable amount of food and fiend being full.

That was my last meal over to his house you can bet on that.

If that all wasn't bad enough, I spotted a prescription for Clavamox. You know I wrote that down so I could google it later right? It is a medication for cats and dogs. Funny thing is, he does not have any pet, at all.

Monday, September 14, 2009

No Water For Me

There have been many times I wish I had learned to swim when I was young. I am deathly afraid of the water which makes learning to swim all the more difficult. That’s way too much water to drink. I think it would have been easier if I tackled this task when I was a young kid because kids are fearless much to the horror of their parents.

I’ve gone on a few tropical vacations in my adult life, (Hawaii, Bahamas) where swimming would have been a wonderful treat. The waters were so blue and cool and refreshing and so darn inviting but yet I sat on the sidelines and just wished I had the guts to go in. People were swimming, jet skiing, playing March Polo, looking quite cool on those very hot summer days.

Many years ago when I lived at home with my parents we had a pool in the back yard. Kind of ironic if you ask me since none of us were swimmers. We never went to the pool or beach to swim as a family. I think maybe if we had my younger sister would not have drowned at the neighborhood community pool many years previous when we were kids.

I remember looking out into the back yard one particularly hot summer afternoon and watching my father swim. He was standing on the edge of the pool at the high end and dove right in and swam to the other side and climbed out, walked back over to the high end and drove right back in.

I was totally shocked. I stood there for a few minutes processing what I had just witnessed. I was 20 years old at the time and had never seen my father swim. Never. I had no idea he even knew how to swim. Why in all these years had he not taken us to a pool or beach to go swimming? I have no idea but it would have been nice and I’m sure he would have been able to teach me to swim since there was no man in the world I trusted more then my father to keep me safe.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009


Boy do I have a dating story for you guys.

I've been dating hanging out with my friend Mr. Tall for about a month. He is sweet, kind, and attentive. I was very intrigued with how great he treated me. He never once pressured me for sex like most men I know have done in the past. It was refreshing.

Here in Maryland we had the "Best 11 days of summer' which was the state fair. He had never attended before and I love fairs and carnivals so we decided to go together. We had a great time. Afterward we come back to my house to hang out a little. We were sitting on the sofa just chatting away with the hum of the television in the background. It was a very pleasant time indeed until things took a rather peculiar turn.

During our conversation Mr. Tall proceeds to tell me that he cheated on his then but now ex wife with his sister in law in his house right before they were to attend a BBQ. The sister in law only agreed to be with him if he allowed their rendezvous to include a gay guy that had eyes for him. He agreed. Now not only did he have sex with the SIL but also this gay guy! I asked him if this was his only interlude with a guy and to my surprise it wasn't. He picked up a transvestite and had sex with him as well. I am not going to get into the gory details he disclosed but suffice to say it took everything in me to not scream and run in disgust. Oh this is not it my friends.

He also disclosed to me that he had a sexual addiction that he battled for 7 years. He would seek the services of "professionals". He even had a second part time job to finance this addiction. Wait, there is more.

He also mentioned that he received two different STD's from two different women and gave both of them to a third woman. Wow.

This guy is a real catch. If any of you would like to date this gem I can so hook it up.

This is a true story. Can I tell you I was in physical pain from trying not to show how much I wanted to scream and run away from him. I couldn't get him out of my house fast enough.

This crap only happens to me people.

Friday, September 4, 2009

Real Housewives of...

One of my guilty pleasures is watching Real Housewives of... I like the New York franchise and I like the New Jersey franchise as well. I must say though that Atlanta has got me completely hooked.

Have you guys seen this show? I can't stop watching. I love it. I think after New York, New Jersey and Atlanta the wives of Orange County have to step up their game a little.

On the Real Housewives of Atlanta you have 5 different women with 5 different personalities. First there is Kandi Burruss. She's the former member of the girl group Xscape and the newest cast member. I must say that she is by far my favorite. She stays out of drama and she is grounded and I love her.

Then you have the former wife of Keith Sweat, Lisa Wu Hartwell. I love her as well. She is funny, fun and spicy. She reminds me a lot of me actually in that respect.

Then there is Sheree Whitfield. I don't particularly care for Sheree much. She is too over the top and has an over inflated sense of her own self importance.

Next we have Kim Zolciak. I'm not sure how I feel about her actually. She seems really nice and all but there is something that seems to set the other women off. I am holding off judgement on her for now.

Then there is Nene Leakes. Oh Nene. She is loud, rowdy and ghetto but she is always trying to call Lisa and Kandi ghetto and street when clearly she is the most "hood" of them all as she calls them. Nene needs to sit down somewhere, really.

No matter what' I'll be tuning into Bravo this coming Thursday.