Friday, September 18, 2009

Just Clean Up Will Ya....

I was invited to a friends house recently for dinner. I had no idea what was on the menu and I could care less, it was just nice to not have to cook for once. Who the hell am I kidding you all know I wasn't going to cook anyway.

Anyhow, I text him and asked what I should bring because you all know just how classy I am and he informed me to just bring myself. That I could do.

So the appointed hour arrived and I pulled up in front of his house to find him standing in the door looking out for me. Mind you, I had never been to his house before so I wasn't sure what to expect. With men it's a crap shoot as to how their homes will look. I've seen some men have immaculate homes and others should have been condemned by the health department. I think all men should attend a decorating and housekeeping class for bachelors before they are allowed to move into their first homes and certainly before they start bringing women over but I digress.

So I park my car and walk up to his porch and he gives me a welcoming hug. So far so good. I step inside and immediately regretted I even accepted this date.

First off, the house is old (built in the 1950's) and seemed to have the same stairs and kitchen from when it was first built. Can we say renovation please?

I lie to you not, the kitchen had the old metal cabinets painted white circa 1952 and one of them was coming off the hinges. Nice. He also had an old ratty bathroom in the kitchen. Yuck!

The carpet needed vacuuming, badly. As I was surveying the scenery I looked down at the carpet and saw a brown bug crawling across the floor. You have no idea how bad I just wanted to turn around and bolt out that door screaming for dear life but I pulled it together.

After seeing this mess I was in no mood to eat. I literally lost my appetite. I faked it though. I forced myself to eat a respectable amount of food and fiend being full.

That was my last meal over to his house you can bet on that.

If that all wasn't bad enough, I spotted a prescription for Clavamox. You know I wrote that down so I could google it later right? It is a medication for cats and dogs. Funny thing is, he does not have any pet, at all.

23 People saying stuff:

Karen said...

I can deal with poor decorating or outdated appliances, but BUGS. Uh, no way. I wouldn't have eaten a thing. GROSS.

Senorita said...

That is disgusting.

In college I used to sleep over at my friend's apartment which was a very ghetto bachelor pad surrounded by horrible Mexican banda music.

But at the time I didn't care. Now I would.

khaki said...

He would be getting no 2nd date from me either.

The Dish said...

That's too funny and disgusting. I can only imagine what The Husband's living space would look like if he didn't have me cleaning up after him!

shorty said...

I loved that you wrote down the medicine bottle, that is something I would do. Hell, I don't think I would have waited to get home, I would have asked to use his computer for a min and looked it up right there.

Your conversations should have centered around housekeeping things.

Glad he was just a friend and not a potential bo.

How does Oct 16th weekend sound? Busy?

Debbie said...

I'm with Karen. The decorating wouldn't have bothered me in the least but the bugs would put me over the edge!

Jules said...

I totally don't understand how people invite you over then don't clean. GROSS!

Claudia said...

He musta thought you were like one of the boys, sheeeesh! That's stupid, invite her over, DON'T clean? Whats up with that? And EW on the the bug... shudder...

Sandi McBride said...

Men do get classes in decorating...its called marriage! Loved this post but next time maybe just eat out?
hugs
Sandi

★Starrla Monae☆ said...

Oh no! My throat is closing up in disgust. Delete his number right NOW!

You did me one better by even eating. Dang, some cramps or a massive headache would've overtaken me so I would have to immediately go home...lol

Amber said...

Ugh ugh ugh. I'm with you--I can't stand to be in anything that messy and disgusting!

Suze said...

Ugh!

Freckle Face Girl said...

Tough date!

CarmenSinCity said...

Okay! That is so weird that he doesn't have a pet. TAlk about random!

News Revolver said...

Well I guess if you HAD to find a positive out of this, it would be that he is a homeowner-his home is nasty, but it's his nonetheless. Folks (both men and women) need to know how to better keep their homes clean because critters perusing around in the house is some extra nasty ish! Make sure you shake your clothes and purse down to make sure none of them six-legged bammas didn't hitch a ride back to your place.

moooooog35 said...

But...how was the Spam Casserole?

Liam said...

My first place was an apartment in Beantown. It was newly renovated so I got lucky. I was smart enough to get a cleaning service and laundry to come once a week

Renaissance Woman said...

YUCK!

shorty said...

Hey there, I double booked for the weekend of the 16th. I forgot that I had a FB invite to do a campout for the weekend I committed to a few weeks ago, I didn't know the exact date until the same day I made those plans with you.

So, how about the following weekend? The 23-25? Any of those days work for ya? Hope so.

Email me personally to iron out details.

Thx

Terri said...

having not been in this situation before I couldn't tell you how I'd react but I might be fighting that feeling of running for the high hills, I think. You probably made a good decision to not ever go back! I think it says a lot about a person when you enter their home. If they can't remodel because of money they can at least make sure everything is spotless.

imbeingheldhostage said...

Wait! Don't give up. When I went to my now Husband's bachelor pad, his ceiling was classily decorated with all the beer caps from bottles his friends and he had consumed, Christmas lights were draped on the walls. He had glow in the dark stars all over his room, black lights for ambience and the toilet was one disgusting place. I married him anyway and now he's annoyingly clean. To the point that he will be in the kitchen wiping counter tops while I visit with our guests. Now that I've typed all of that, maybe you were right-- run.

f1trey said...

hehehe losers are everywhere!!! dater beware!

Tanyetta said...

YOU WERE NOT SUPPOSED TO EAT THERE. DON'T EVER DO THAT AGAIN. FAKE A PHONE CALL AND GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE.