Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Ask Tee

Alright my lovelies, you know what day it is! It's Wednesday so we have another installment of Ask Tee. Feel free to give your insight and thoughts on the readers question or my advice.

Letter #1

Dear Tee,

I live in a two bedroom apartment that I share with my roommate. She is wonderful and we get along great. We've been good friends for the past 6 years. The problem is her boyfriend Max.

Max came over the over night when my roomie wasn't there and waited for her to come home. I was in the kitchen and he was in the living room watching TV. All of a sudden he comes into the kitchen and starts coming on to me pretty strong. I tell him to leave me alone and put him in his place to which he backed down and went back into the living room.

My question to you is should I tell my roomie what her louse of a boyfriend did?


Want To Be Left Alone

My Answer:

Dear Want To Be Left Alone,

If you and your roommate are as close as you say then I would probably hold off on telling her just yet. Maybe your scolding of him has done the trick and he won't ever do this again.

The problem with telling a woman that her man is a lousy cheater is that without actual proof she will likely take his side and forgive him because she cares for him and it will put a rift in your relationship with her and that is not what you want. trust me, she will eventually see him for what he is and dump him on her own when she is ready.

If he comes on to you again then sit down and have a heart to heart with your roommate and let her know what has been happening but please prepare yourself that she may not believe you thus putting a strain on your friendship.

Good Luck.

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Monday, December 28, 2009

Is That A Banana In Your Pocket Or Are You Just Happy To See Me?

We have all at some point gone out on a night on the town with our besties. A night of dancing, eating perhaps and drinking and God knows what else. There were laughs and memories created that last a lifetime. I love hanging out with my friends and wish I had the opportunity to do it more often. I really need a new group of friends but I digress…where was I? Oh yeah.

Anyway, on one such night several years ago my bestie at the time and I decided to venture out to a hot spot in DC. Trying to park in DC is hell but once we finally did locate a parking spot we walked into the club to find it was packed, wall to wall people everywhere. No problem, I can adapt.

This club was dark, smoky and had laser lights streaming from the ceiling. It had 3 floors so of course we had to check out the happenings on each and every floor. One of the floors had some hard hitting bass and fast paced rhythmic music playing so I was all too ready to get on the dance floor and shake my butt around for awhile.

This one young man (and I used the term loosely) asked me to dance. I guess witnessing my fist pumps, head bobs and stomps gave him the sense that I needed to get to that dance floor immediately so I grabbed his extended hand and he led me to the floor. We twisted and dipped and slid all over the floor. It was a lot of fun. Then all of a sudden BAM! A slow song comes on. If any one knows me they would know that unless you are my man I don’t dance to a slow song but against my better judgment I decided to go ahead and dance with this guy. Things were fine for a while then all of a sudden I could feel his hips moving a little more then they were initially. Next I could feel something poking out at me from his pants and he kept trying to rub it against me! I jumped back to put some distance between us because obviously dude was getting a little too into the dance. Every time I would step away from him he would step up closer. I was like “Dude, if you don’t back that thing away from me we are going to have a situation on our hands.”

He backed up then when the song was over I ran away from that dance floor as fast as I could.

I thought grown ass men were able to control their hard on’s. Men, just as an FYI, that’s just nasty.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

What's Your Holiday Tradition?

In spirit of the holidays, we here at The Diva’s Thoughts have decided to forego Ask Tee this week and resume the feature next Wednesday as scheduled so please don’t forget to send in your Ask Tee letters. All are welcomed.

What I’ve decided to do today instead is to ask you all to tell us what your favorite holiday traditions are.

I’ll go first. When I was a kid every Thanksgiving and Christmas my father would commandeer the kitchen and bake. He would bake for hours and I would love to watch him. He’d bake all kinds of cakes and pies. He’d make pecan pies and sweet potato pies and coconut cakes and chocolate cakes and so many others. The smells emanating from the kitchen were pure heaven.

I used to look forward to the holidays so that I could smell those sweet smells and see my father doing what he loved, and eating those delectable treats.

Man I miss that. Daddy, I miss you.

Happy holidays everyone!

What are your holiday traditions?

Monday, December 21, 2009

A Case Of The Blahs

As far as I can remember growing up, we have always had family gatherings for the holidays, always. It was a time to get together, eat some good food, have some laughs and good natured ribbing. The holidays were always something to look forward to.

This year however, not so much. My brothers don't seem to have the same desire to keep the family traditions going and it saddens me a great deal.

I've always known that it was my mother that was the glue that kept our family together and that if anything ever happened to her then we would all splinter off into our own separate lives. My mother is disabled and in a nursing home. This in all likelihood will be our last holiday together and I really wanted to make this a special time for her but it's apparent that my brothers are not interested in this and it really saddens me. Not because I particularly want to see them but because I wanted this to be memorable for my mother.

My brothers will in all probability go their separate ways doing whatever they want to do for Christmas and I will maybe visit friends, after I spend time with mom of course.

This is all infuriating me to no end and also giving me the case of the blahs.

I'll be glad when this holiday season is over and I really never have to deal with my brothers again.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Ask Tee

You know what day it is! It's Wednesday so we have another installment of Ask Tee. Feel free to give your insight and thoughts on the readers question or my advice.

Letter #1

Dear Tee,

I've been with my man for 3 years. We have a good relationship and we have a comfort level that I've never had with anybody else.

The problem is that if we are together and his phone rings I answer it. No big deal. He can answer mine too. He hates when I answer his phone. Now all of a sudden I'm starting to wonder if he has something to hide.

Should I go through his cell phone to see if there is anything incriminating in there?



My Answer:

Dear Suspicious,

If you guys have been together for 3 years then hell yeah you should be able to answer his phone and vice versa.

Some people may be upset with me for what I am about to say but I am going to be one hundred percent real here and tell you that if you suspect your man has something to hide then by all means check it out. Just make sure you are prepared for what you may find. You go looking for trouble you just might find it.

Good Luck.

If you have a situation you need advice on, just click the graphic on the sidebar or go to

Monday, December 14, 2009

How Rare Is It To Grow Up With 2 Parents?

Over the last several weeks, I’ve had conversations or have read an unusually high number of blog posts that make mention of a large number of people growing up in single parents homes and that seems to be the norm as opposed to a two parents home.

It seems that coming from a two parent home is quite rare these days. Out of all my friends only 3 of us had both parents in the home. I was blessed to have been raised by both of my parents in the home until my father passed away in 93.

I can’t help but wonder how this sad state of affairs came about. It was such a gradual shift in society that none of us really saw what was happening until it was too late.

Many years ago it was the standard to have both parents in the home growing up not the exception but somehow we lost sight of that. How?

Was the feminist’s movement of the 60’s responsible? Was our lowered standard regarding sexual responsibility to blame?

I obviously have more questions then answers. It’s just a shame that kids have to grow up in a world where they think that being a single parent is normal and the way things should be.

Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not talking about people that became single parents out of circumstance (divorce, widowed) but those that chose to have babies without being married and in many cases with people they hardly know.

This situation was brought to the forefront this weekend when I attended a babyshower for my girlfriend Clueless’s young niece.

As I was sitting there taking survey of my surroundings and the attendees I noticed something very interesting. Clueless’s niece, the nieces older sister and their mother (Clueless’s sister) all had children out of wedlock. All of them.

Did these young girls follow their mother’s path because she hadn’t taught them a different way? Are we all doomed to follow in our parents footsteps, repeat the same mistakes our parents did? How do we break that cycle?

How do we let our kids know that having both parents in the home raising the kids together is much more beneficial to the child’s overall well-being? Our kids are being shortchanged and it saddens me.

Friday, December 11, 2009

I Don't Look Like I Can Cook

Awhile ago I was in a festive mood and decided to throw a little shindig at my abode and invite some friends over to partake. I have no idea what got into me but you can bet your sweet patooty that has never happened again. Anyway, I was feeling extra warm and fuzzy and took it upon myself to cook all of the food for this gathering myself as opposed to having guests bring a dish. I'm thoughtful that way.

So one by one all of my guests arrive and things are going along swimmingly. There is food, music, games and stories. Nice time was being had by all.

As the evening progressed I found myself in the kitchen talking to a few guests. One young lady who was a friend of a friend that was invited said to me, " I was a little worried about the food."

I gave her a sideways glance and asked, "Huh?" Clearly the only appropriate response to such a statement.

She goes on to further say, "You just don't look like someone that could cook." What the hell?

I mean seriously......

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Ask Tee

You know what day it is! It's Wednesday so we have another installment of Ask Tee. Feel free to give your insight and thoughts on the readers question or my advice.

Letter #1

Dear Tee,

I have a real problem. I'm a guy and I'm married to a wonderful lady. We've been married for 6 years now and have one child. I love my wife and kid, I really do.

Here's my problem, for the last 2 years I've been sleeping with the guy on my job. I feel guilty and I don't know what to do. I don't want to hurt my family but I also can't deny how I feel either. He gives me things that I didn't know were missing before and I don't want to give him up but I also don't want to give up my wife.

What can I do?


Caught Up

My Answer:

Dear Caught Up,

Wow! This is a doosie. You absolutely have to be honest with your wife and the sooner the better.

She will undoubtedly be hurt and upset and will probably leave you but you can not go on lying to her this way. She deserves the truth. You clearly have a penchant for the same sex and it's not going away as you've had this ongoing affair for 2 years. Even if you try to hide and deny these feelings you will be unhappy and living a lie thus making your wife and child unhappy.

The longer you prolong this the worse it will be in the end. Come clean and live your life openly and honestly from here on out and no one will get hurt in the future. You can't undo the hurt you've already caused so the only thing left for you is do better from here on out.

Good Luck.

If you have a situation you need advice on, just click the graphic on the sidebar or go to

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Congrats to the Winner!!!!!

I've selected the winner of the $25 restaurant gift card give away!! It wasn't easy as there were some pretty good entries.

The winner of the gift card is.....

Tammy of Queen Sized Funny Bone!!!

Please visit her and congratulate her on her win!!!

Great job!

Friday, December 4, 2009

$25 Gift Card Give Away!

For all you popular bloggers that ALWAYS seem to have a giveaway going, I got one now too so BOO YA!!!

Here at The Diva's Thoughts, we have our very first give away. I have one $25 gift card. This wonderful gift card will allow you to dine at these participating restaurants: On The Border, Chili's, Macaroni Grill, or Maggiano's. Take your pick!!!

No matter what your dining tastes are, this card will allow you to pick the restaurant that best fits your dining needs.

Since this is the Christmas season and all you can win this card and give it away as a Christmas gift and BOO YA!! You've just knocked out one gift! See how I'm always thinking about you? I'm such a giver.

So here's how you win this thing. Simply put in my comments how much you want this card. That's it! The most clever entry will win.

Also, to further boost your chances at winning, you are encouraged allowed to have others post in my comments on your behalf. How cool is that?

There you have it my little lovelies.

The contest will end on Tuesday 12/8/2009 and the winner will be announced that day.

BTW-Please be sure to add your email address to the comment so that I know how to get in touch with you to give you the gift card should you win.

Good luck!

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Ask Tee

You know what day it is! It's Wednesday so we have another installment of Ask Tee. Feel free to give your insight and thoughts on the readers question or my advice.

Letter #1

Hi Tee,

With Christmas coming I have a dilemma. I have a pretty small family and it was always our tradition to get together for Christmas. Well this year is a little different and we are not really functioning as a family at the moment and to be honest I am not really feeling the whole faking warm feelings to be around my brother and sisters. We haven't really spoken in quite awhile.

Would it be wrong to blow off Christmas? Would it be wrong to just buy my father a present, visit him then leave and not worry about the family gathering or any presents being exchanged? What do you think?


Not feeling the Holidays

My Answer:

Dear Not Feeling The Holidays,

I totally understand where you are coming from. It's wierd that I received this email as I am going through something pretty similar in my own family. The holidays put a lot of stress on people...wondering what they should or should not do. Some feel sad because they don't have a family. This can be a very trying time for many.

Have you tried reaching out to your brother and sisters? Maybe clearing the air between you may make for cozier feelings and a desire for a family gathering. If that is not possible, since I don't really know how deep this riff is between you and your siblings, then maybe foregoing the gathering is the best. If you are not in the family holiday spirit then don't try to fake it. It will be very noticeable and you will be unhappy to boot.

Take this time to perhaps spend with friends or travel to help ease the feelings of angst you may have.

Happy Holidays!

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