Monday, August 30, 2010

A Couple of Randomness

This weekend I went to see Takers with some girlfriends to celebrate my birthday. That's right bloghearts I turned a year older this weekend. I have to admit Takers was FABULOUS!! It is the perfect date movie as it has all the action and swagger men like and the swagger and eye candy we women like. Win win! I have to tell you that I just want to lick Paul Walker and Idris Elba.

At home this weekend I watched In Her Shoes with Toni Collette and Cameron Diaz. NOTE, If you have NOT seen this movie please do not read any further...Spoiler Alert. I've seen it before but for some reason it got me reflective this time. I don't know. Anyway, Cameron's character sleeps with Toni's character's boyfriend. Toni and Cameron play sisters so you know this is a no no. Obviously this puts a serious rift in the girls' relationship. Ultimately Toni forgives Cameron. I was torn at this. Part of me was really glad for the sake of the movie that the two girls healed their relationship but another part of me, the REAL part of me was all "Hell no!" there would never be any forgiveness of a skanky sister sleeping with my man.

So my lovely readers, I decided to bring this up to you. If your sibling slept with your significant other could you forgive them?

Love you long time!

Thursday, August 26, 2010

I Saw A Pile of Awesomeness in New York People!

OK, as a young country girl growing up in Baltimore MD, I would often watch TV with such a longing. I'd see really exotic places like Oklahoma, Virginia and Fargo, ND and dream of the day I could some how make it out of Baltimore and visit these mystical places. Oh I had a dream all right.

Then one day I saw a TV special with none other then the one and only Naked Cowboy. That's right folks, I saw this pile of awesomeness on TV and wished I could one day go to New York and see this fabulous creature.

I never thought in my wildest dreams I'd ever make it to New York but guess what people. My dream came true! On my last trip to New York guess who I saw?

Now I can die a happy woman.

Monday, August 23, 2010

New York Should be Dubbed Sin City

Hello all. I'm going to bring you up to date on some of the happenings in my world over the past weekend.

My gal pal Cookie and I decided to have a nice girls weekend in New York. We planned a Broadway show, lots of eats and lots of shopping. It was all set to kick off on Friday.

Friday we made our way to New York by mid afternoon. She didn't tell me that the distance from the train station to the hotel was a million freakin miles and we were going to walk it! I was exhausted by the time we got to the hotel. I wanted to strangle that girl.

The show, Memphis, had an 8:00pm curtain call so we had a couple of hours on our hands. We checked into our room and settled in then decided to go to dinner before the show was to start. Dinner was great. The show was wonderful. If you ever get the chance to check out a Broadway show please do yourself a favor and see either Wicked or Memphis. Great shows.

Afterward we returned to the hotel and hunkered down for a much needed good nights sleep. The next day was all about shopping. We went to SoHo and shopped until our cash ran out and our credit/debit cards lost its magnetic stripping and couldn't be used anymore. Crazy!

After all that shopping we changed clothes and went for a nice Italian dinner. Shout out to Tramonti's! You guys RAWK! After dinner we decided on a comedy club. You'd think we'd go to the Laff Factory or Caroline's. Nope. Not these sophisticated gals about town. Nothing but the best for us so we decided to go to Ha! instead. Heard of it before? No? Exactly. That place was a piece of shit dump with weak comedians. Ridiculous. After the show I was totally exhausted and wanted to go to bed. Cookie wasn't havin' no parts of that and this is were things get a little interesting.

Cookie decides to go to the hotel bar for more drinking and I was like "peace". I was planning on seeing nothing but the back of my eyelids. I drift into a haze and a few hours later Cookie returns even more inebriated if that was possible. Plopped on her bed and proclaimed this was "the best New York trip EVER!" and kissed me on the cheek. I laughed at her drunken state. She then says "I'm going out with my new friend Sasha." Some chick she just met at the bar. I shouted out a "have fun and be careful" which was met with a loud "Boom" as the door immediately slammed shut behind her as she bounced down the hall. I shook my head at her and just prayed for the best. I drifted off to sleep and a few more hours later I heard her come in. She went straight to the bathroom and I never hear her come out. I drifted off but woke up again to some really weird sounds coming from the bathroom. I sat up in the bed for a second trying to determine if she was sick or needed help. It got quiet again so I laid my head down. Then moments later I hear muffled voices and hushed sounds. I remember thinking "No she didn't!". This girl brought back some random dude she just met back to our hotel room and was screwing him in our bathroom. I didn't know what to do. No one has ever done any bullshit like this before. I wrestled with the idea of storming into the bathroom and breaking up their little party and throwing dude's naked ass out. This crap went on for 2 more hours. I was getting steamed because she was putting not only her life at risk but mine too. I didn't know this guy. He's just some random dude she picked up from the street, He could be a serial killer for all I knew and she had him in MY room! You can play with your life all day long but DO NOT play with my life and safety.

I finally heard her let him out and plop on her bed to go to sleep. I thought about busting her little bubble right then but couldn't find the right words.

The next morning she never mentioned a word about her ho-ish ways the night before. I'm still not sure if or how to call her out on this. You better believe she will never do this crap again.


Monday, August 16, 2010

Just Call Me Deelishious

Happy Monday all! I trust you all had a decent weekend at least. Share the details in the comments section. My weekend was very interesting. I went pole dancing people! That's right you read correctly, I went pole dancing!

Here is what happened, my girl Clueless has a sister who's birthday was Saturday. To celebrate said birthday she decided to have a pole dancing party so Clueless, Crazy and I saddled up and went. I have to be honest, I was a little apprehensive at first. Naw, I'm lying, I was down right scared but I soldered on anyway.

We got there and slowly but surely the women started filing in. There was a vast age range of women there from 19 all the way to 60+. It was great. We all received "stripper" names for the evening and could only refer to each other with those names. My name was Deelishious. Ummm, yeah.

After eating the pole dancing commenced. The instructor "Drill Sargent" was a cute, bubbly young woman with a booty and legs I would kill for. I liked her instantly. She showed us various moves and I was in awe. The chick can work a pole.

Then it was our turn to demonstrate what she had just taught us. Yeah right! I wasn't going up there to make a fool of myself, are you kidding me? I have to admit the 60 year old women were working the hell out of that pole!

They gave us raffle tickets and called out names when it was our turn to work the pole. They did it in 4 groups of 5 so you were not alone. Cool. At the end of the each groups' session the crowd, by way of claps and cheers, would determine the 2 winners of the group who did the best and they received a prize. The third group was called and BAM! There was my number. I sat there frozen for a minute. Did this woman just call my number? I'll just sit here and pretend it's not my number I thought. I reviewed the other performances in my head and thought, "Hell, I couldn't be any worst then some of these chicks I saw" so I decided to stand up and go for it. I assumed my rightful place next to my pole and the music and instruction began. I did what Drill Instructor told me, spinning and gyrating and going on and felt I should be banned from ever looking at a pole much less trying to dance on one. After we were done the judging began.

Guess who one of the two winners from my group were? Yah damn skippy! It was yours truly! Can you believe the crowd chose ME? I couldn't stop laughing because I totally didn't expect it.

I think I found a new career people. Just call me Deelishious.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

How Do You Tell?

Let's say that there is someone at your job or church or gym or where ever and you are interested in this person. What do you do? Do you throw subtle hints and hope they catch them? Do you come right out and ask them out? Or do you just leave it alone and let your insecurities get the best of you?

It's not easy by any means to put yourself out there and let someone know you have an interest in them. Especially if you have to see this person everyday. It can be disastrous. Think about it. You are at work or church, you see this person and think to yourself you would love to go out with them. You move close to them hoping to get their attention. For a woman you smile and hope that's enough the get them to ask you out. If you are a guy then you hope she smiles at you when you look at her so that you have an "in". You ask her out and she says no, she'd rather have every hair on her head ripped out one by one. SCREECH! What do you do. Skulk back to your cubicle or pew? What do you do when you see them next time, nod your head or act as if you don't see them?

Geesh! It's enough to make your head swim.

Me personally, I am going to take this opportunity to tell my crush just how I feel. Uuumm, George, can you hear me? Good, I just wanted to say that I love you and I am here for you. I am so much better for you then that Elisabetta chick. Call me and we can go to a movie or something. I make good pasta. :)

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Ladies We Can Hang it Up

Ladies, come here. Let me talk to you for a minute. Do you all know what day it is today? Today is the day the new Madden 2011 comes out. Do you know what that means. We will not see our men for the next 5 months.

There will be no conversations, no dates, no eye contact, just nose picking, farts, scratching and grunts in our general direction when we ask a question. "Honey, where did you put those keys?" "Grrrruuuuuuhhhhh."

Yeah, this is going to be fun.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

I Was in The ATL Baby!

As I mentioned on Twitter the other day, I have a story for you today! So, I went to Atlanta this weekend past to get the lay of the land and find a really nice apartment so that when my house sells here in Baltimore I will be ready to make my move to the ATL.

So I arrive at 10:30 Wednesday morning at the Atlanta airport and my girlfriend and her two daughters met me in baggage claim. We all hugged and said our hellos. On a side note can I tell you that I am absolutely in love with her 3 year old daughter! I tried to figure out a way to pack her in my bag and bring her home with me but it didn't work out too well but I digress. As we leave the airport we head toward Marietta to start our apartment search. En route she receives a phone call from her neighbor that her house was being cased by two punks. She immediately hangs up and calls her husband who leaves work and dashes home. We begin to make our way to the house as well and in doing so a flurry of phone calls ensue. She is calling her husband and neighbor and police and anyone else who she could think of. Her neighbor calls back and says that these said punks are making their way out of the house with their TV's. More freaking out ensues. I'm all kinds of freaked out as well but I just sat there quietly with a worried/concerned look on my face as to not add to the drama.

I can not believe this. They had been living in that house for many years incident free and the moment they pick me up from the airport all hell breaks loose. Do I really want to move to ATL? Shucks, this kind of stuff happens all across the country so I decided to not let this deter me. Then I started thinking, 'Damn! I won't have a TV to watch as I go to sleep tonight.' Scoff if you will but I need a TV to fall asleep to. I started thinking, 'Is it too late to go back to the airport and take my ass home?'

We finally make our way home to the house and we survey the damage. Two TVs and a Wii was missing. My friends 18 year old daughter immediately starts to suspect some punks that live behind them as being the culprits. She and her father jump in their car and the police jump in his car and they make their way to the house. The cops search but no luck. They come back home. By this time the 18 year olds boyfriend arrives and so does my girlfriends brother in law. They all decide to jump in their cars and patrol the neighborhood. Somehow they run across some suspicious looking punks and approach them. One of them runs and another of them confesses and offers to take them to where their stuff is. Once at the "location" the little punk breaks and runs. After the police arrive once more (because they had left by this time) they begin to search this vacant house. Lo and behold guess what people. Come on, guess! That's right! They found their stuff! Who does that? Who patrols their neighborhood and retrieves their stolen property?

The police write a new report and releases the property to them and all is right with the world again.

A little later my friend had an acting class event that she had to attend and I tagged along. Once a month her acting coach brings in an industry professional to talk to them and bestow his or her knowledge and wisdom to the masses. This evening they had Tommy Ford! Tommy freakin Ford people. For those of you who do not know he played Tommy on the hit TV show Martin. Here is a picture.

Wow! If all this happened on day one what else do they have planned?!