Friday, November 25, 2011

Diva's 2011 Sexiest Women Alive

Hello ladies and gentlemen. It is that time of year again. Time to release my fifth annual sexiest women alive list.

Please feel free to add your comments to the post as usual. If you want to catch up on past lists then check this link out.

With out further ado, here are 2011's sexiest women alive:


Ashley Greene


Zoe Saldana


Milla Jovovich


Jessica Simpson


Olivia Wilde


Nikki Reed


Charlise Theron


Julianne Hough


Sophia Vergara

...and the Sexiest Woman of 2011...

Jennifer Lopez!!

I hope you enjoyed reading this list as much as i did writing it for you. Please leave comments below.

Friday, November 18, 2011

Diva's 2011 Sexiest Men Alive

Hello ladies and gentlemen. It is that time of year again. Time to release my fifth annual sexiest men alive list.

Please feel free to add your comments to the post as usual. If you want to catch up on past lists then check this link out.

With out further ado, here are 2010 sexiest men alive:


Bruno Mars


Gerard Butler


Chris Noth aka Mr. Big


Josh Duhamel


Ben affleck


Derek Hough


Ryan Gosling


Ashton Kutcher


Ryan Reynolds

..... and the the sexiest man alive is.....

Taylor Lautner

There you have it, the sexiest men of 2011!!

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

I Don't Want to Talk To Your Kid

Hello Bloghearts. I hope all is well. I just got off of the telephone with one of my closest friends. I'll call her Hyper. Hyper and I have been friends for more the 30 years. I love her, I really do.

Hyper has a 4 year old son. Every time she and I speak on the phone she has to put the little guy on the phone. I hate when she does that. She'll put him on the phone and you can hear her in the background, "Say hi. Say hi to Aunt Diva." Silence. He just totally sits there holding the phone saying absolutely nothing. It's very awkward and annoying. I find myself yelling into the receiver, "Hey honey. How are you? Hey honey. You there?" I don't call there to talk to her son and try to get him to speak. I can feel brain cells dying every mili-second that goes by.

People, I love kids, I really do. I want to just squeeze them every time I am around them but I really don't want to talk to them on the phone.

Why do people like putting their kids on the phone? Better yet, why do people think that I want to talk to the little buggers?

Diva loves the kids.

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Ask Tee

Hello Bloghearts, it's been forever since I've done one of these Ask Tee's and thought it was about time I get back on board. So here goes.


Dear Tee,

I have an issue I need advice on and I can't ask anyone I know. I met this guy two months ago that I like. He's a gentleman, kind and generous. He's treats me like a queen. The problem is there is no zsa zsa zuh. You know, that chemical explosion you feel when you meet someone and all you want to do is rip their clothes off. Well, the problem is I just met this guy a couple of days ago and he is handsome sexy but he is the exact thing I need to run from. He's been in prison three times, he is a serious reformed bad boy. He's turned his life around. He's not as gentlemanly as the first guy but there is a serious chemical reaction going on. I know for sure the second guy would end like all the others I've felt this way about in the where! All I really want to do is sex this guy up and leave him alone but I'm not sure if I should.

Tee, the first guy and I aren't a committed couple but he is husband material. the second guy could be nothing more then a play toy. Should I risk what I could build with the first guy for a fling with the second guy? I really want to do this second guy. what should I do?


Dear Tortured,

My first reaction is to tell you to go ahead and get your freak on!!!! But, common sense prevails and I have to give you a proper answer. If you want a relationship with this first guy I would suggest you leave the second guy alone. I know the thrill of a hot fling is alluring but the first guy sounds like a keeper.

Try spicing up your relationship with the first guy. maybe you could ignite that torch you are looking for.

If you have a situation that you need help sorting out just send Tee and email to

Monday, October 31, 2011

It's Halloween People!

Today is Halloween. I never dress up for Halloween. I haven't since I was a little kid. Never once in my adult life. Can you believe that I have never been invited to a Halloween costume party in my adult life...ever?! I know, unbelievable.

Anyway, this guy that I recently started dating invited me to a party on Saturday and requirements were that we dress up. What to do, what to do? Well I decided to go to the costume store and see what they had in stock.

I had no idea there were so many wonderful, cool choices. I actually WANT to dress up next year and that's saying something!

I found a cute pirate costume so I was a pirate for Halloween. Here is a picture below of the costume from the stores website.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Back on the Dating Scene in the ATL!

Wow, life has been so crazy that I can not believe it's been a month since I last posted. I am going to do much better, I promise. Right now I'm going to give you guys a little update on what's been happening.

Now that I am fully immersed in my new life in Atlanta I thought it was time to begin dating again. So I've been on a few dates. Here's a little recap.

I met one gentleman and he seemed really nice. I wasn't completely sold on him but I was willing to give him a go so we went on a couple of dates and they were nice. Of course he took things way too far and seriously tried to sleep with me. I'm like "Dude, this is only our second date. Back off." Geesh. Anyway, after I escaped from his clutches with my virtue in tact I went home. We spoke on the phone a few times after that date which was fine then all of a sudden he breaks down and tells me that he and his ex girlfriend have decided to give it another go. Really? I didn't really care because we were just getting to know each other but dude, you were trying to sleep with me. What if I had decided to give in and have sex with you and then you give me that "I'm going back to my ex" phone call? Not cool at all. Get your relationships in order BEFORE you try to sex a woman up.

Next guy, we too went on a few dates. Things were OK although I know that we weren't going to progress any further. He was cool but definitely not the one. Anyway, a few days after our last date I noticed he hadn't called. I was actually relieved that I didn't have to have that awkward "It's not you, it's me" conversation but alas, he called. He felt compelled to confess that he was actually living with a woman and he couldn't leave her at this time because she was going through things and it wouldn't be right to leave her. Then why the hell are you in MY face then?

Men, don't bring your crap to my front door. I don't need it.

Monday, September 26, 2011

It's Not You, It's Me!

I was watching a TV show today and one character was conflicted on the proper way to break up with his girlfriend. When they first were together he broke up with her on her voicemail. They got back together and he wanted to break up with her again but didn't want to do it again over voicemail because that would just be wrong and that got me to thinking, what is the best way to break up with someone? This characters friends were trying to convince him that doing the deed in person was the only way to go.

I also got to thinking over past breakups I had and how they were handled and I realized I never had the "break up conversation". Ever. The way my relationships ended were either because we argued and just never called each other or we just decided to not return calls and it just stopped being. I get bored with you, no call back to you. You tick me off, no phone calls back to you, don't hold the door open for me, no phone calls back to you. Done! After a couple of weeks of no phone calls the message is quite clear at that point.

Hell, does anyone really have that breakup conversation or do you wuss out like me and just stop calling?

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Walk a Mile in My Shoes

I'm not sure if you know this about me but I LOVE shoes. I usually never order shoes over the internet because it's hard for me to find shoes that feel comfortable so I have to always try them on before purchasing but I was perusing the internet and couldn't help myself so I thought I would share with you my finds.

First, I was poking around on and found a pair I just could not pass up.

Those heels are crazy high.

Next I was perusing and found these gems.

These are like walking on stilts. I'm going to probably break my neck on these babies but dammit I'm gonna look good on the gurney.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Let's Have The Talk

How many of you watch The Talk? I've been a faithful viewer since the very beginning. I love this show. I much preferred it over The View because the first ladies of the morning are usually a little too political for me but the ladies of The Talk have always been funny, fun, and relatable, largely due to the dynamic of the ladies and their chemistry. I have to say, Holly Robinson Peete and Leah Remini are hilarious and were clearly my stand out favorites.

When I heard they were not asked back for the second season I was completely upset and waged a Twitter war with CBS. For some reason they didn't listen to me and change their ways. Go figure. Anyway, I knew from the core of my being that this was a huge mistake. I was not the only one to feel this way. I follow Leah and Holly on Twitter and they retwitted many, many tweets of support and vows of no longer watching the show. Well they decided to add Molly Shannon and Sheryl Underwood. Really? They think Sheryl and Molly are a better fit then Leah and Holly. Really?

The show has become very uncomfortable for me to watch now. I'm not liking this change. CBS you should have listened to me and brought Leah and Holly back. Shame on you.

I heard that Julie Chen got all diva and didn't get along with Holly and Leah. She may have been threatened by their popularity, I don't know. Well, because of who Julie is married too the edict was handed down and Holly and Leah were unceremoniously given the boot. Talk about job security.

I wasn't too sure of these allegations until I watched the show dedicated to 9/11. The ladies were all sitting around the table giving their take on their 9/11 experience but when it came to Julie, she had a whole black and white vinyet taped with music and the whole nine yards. I remember looking at the show waiting for the other ladies to get their chance in the spotlight and tell their tale but it never came. Just Julie.

Hmmmm, there just might be something to this whole allegation of Julie being a controlling diva.

It's weird that she took over when the whole idea was Sarah Gilbert's. She's the executive producer for goodness sakes but it's become the Julie Chen and the Ladies show. I might just have to stop watching myself.

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Hello all. This is Labor Day weekend which means only one thing....the summer is coming to a close. Usually I dread this time of year because I love my spring and summer months but actually, this year I am ambivalent about it. I guess because this year I will be in the south for the first time and won't have to deal with all the freezing temps and 4 feet of snow I'm used to. Yes it gets cold here in GA but nothing like what the north receives.

I talked to all of my peeps in MD recently to make sure everyone is OK. The north east has had some really crazy things happen recently. First an earthquake then a hurricane right after. Yowzers. We got nothing here. That's what I'm talkin' 'bout!

Getting back the the whole Labor Day thing, who's having a bbq? I need some free food and a bbq to crash so fess up. I promise to bring my wonderful whit and charm. You can leave your address in the comments, its safe here.

Monday, August 29, 2011

Another Year, Another Apartment

Whew! Hello my bloghearts. It's time for a post. I swear I really will get better about posting regularly. I promise. Anyway, another year has gone by, meaning my birthday was Friday. It went by uneventfully. I moved last week so I was consumed with moving and getting settled. The move went well except the movers scratched a few items which pissed me off but they broke a wheel off of my coffee table. I am currently in the process of ordering another set of wheels and it is really pissing me off but whatever.

I love the new area. It's very busy here but I like that. I am surrounded by restaurants! OMG! For a foodie like me I see nothing but trouble in my future. I was sitting on my living room sofa and started feigning for some cheesecake so I went to Cheesecake Factory and bought a Red Velvet Cake cheesecake and brought it home. OMG! That was the best cheesecake I have ever had in my life!! It took my three days to eat the damn thing because it is such a large piece. YUM! Yeah, I foresee alot of trouble in my future.

In other news, I have made some decisions and set some new goals regarding my life and its direction and can I tell you that I am so very excited about the new direction I am going in. It's too early to disclose my plans and goals just yet but trust me when it's time I will fill you all in.

Getting back to my new living area, I am near a super Target. What's really great about this super Target is that they sell Martin's potato bread. Have you ever eaten Martin's patato bread? I don't think you understand, in my old apartment, I had to drive to two different grocery stores to buy Martin's and now that it is so close to my home now I am over the moon!!! That is the only bread I can eat and you never know how important a certain bread is until you can no longer find it. All in all life is wonderful right now.

I will do my best to post twice this week with updates.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Booty Call Protocol

I was sitting in my apartment watching TV and a question suddenly hit me. Is there a booty call protocol? Let me give you a back story.

In the show I was watching, a woman walked into a coffee shop and found her lover talking to another woman. She was calm and collected and simply asked him, "So is this the reason you had to leave early?" with a sly grin on her face. I immediately started thinking, 'Wow, she handled that really well. I'm impressed.' I began to think how I would handle a similar situation. If I saw my lover with someone else do I have a right to get angry? Especially if there is no commitment between us? Is there a booty call protocol when you see your lover out with someone else when you two are not in a monogamous relationship?

How would you handle this situation? Would you feel your lover owed you some sort of level of respect or do you feel you guys owe each other nothing?

I would hope that I would be ladylike and take the high road but I would probably snatch the dude bald and kick the girl in the teeth but that's just me.

Friday, August 5, 2011

I'm Moving!!!

Guess what my lovely bloghearts. I'm moving! It's not what you think, I'm simply moving to a different area here in Georgia. I'll still be in the same county so I'm not going too far but I am so very exited to move.

My current apartment has a terrible heating and AC system, the building is terribly dirty and management seems just fine with it. I can't live in a dirty building; it's embarrassing and I just can't anymore. And then there is the issue of DirecTV. I can not wait to get rid of them. Last week they were supposed to send me a filter so that I can attach it to the new DVR that finally came but do you think I ever received it? Uh, that would be a no. I am paying for a multi room DVR that I can not use and that sucks. I called to cancel my service but the guy on the phone was adamant that I should let him dispatch a tech out to my house. Fine, he can send anyone he wants but I am still going to cancel the service and I am shaking with excitement just thinking about it.

I had to call AT&T six times to finally get my new service correct. Everytime I called they kept telling me different information. Did I tell you I can't wait to move?

On a different note, one of the first friends I met when I first got here is moving next week to New Jersey and that sucks. Oh well.

I almost forgot to mention this, I went to a TV taping the other day and it was filled with many celebrities. That was way cool.

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

I've Never Done This Before, But I like it!

Hello all, I wanted to write a post because I haven't written on in ages. I feel like I start all of my posts apologizing for not posting. I just haven't had much to write about lately. Life is good and I am enjoying myself.

I did do something yesterday that I have never done before. I volunteered at a food bank. Yep. I volunteered sorting food and boxing it up and I actually loved it. That old cliche of it feeling good to give back was actually true. I never thought I would have fun sorting and boxing food in a warehouse for homeless people but I did.

It was weird though because I had the mindset that I was going to work my butt off and get it in! After a half hour in a whistle blows and I hear "Break time!" and everyone walks off the floor. I was standing there looking around like 'What? What just happened?' ' I was just getting into a grove. Are you serious?' So we all go into a break room for 15 mins then head back out to the warehouse. about 50 minutes later I hear, "OK, Time to clean up. Clean up!" Again I stand there looking like 'What?' Just as we get into it they quit.

I must say that the whole process was run like clockwork. I would move one box to another station and there was a person behind me placing an empty box in its place. Wow. Magic.

Thursday, July 14, 2011

You Suck

If anyone knows me they know that I absolutely hate DirecTV. I hate Dishnetwork too but that's beside the point. I have DirecTV so they are my target today.

I have always had cable because their service is always reliable. I have always made a conscience effort to never subscribe to satellite because whenever there is a trickle of rain the damn service goes out. Not with cable.

Well, in this apartment were I live, we are forced to have DirecTV because these bastards get a kickback for forcing us. Well of course I signed up kicking and screaming because I knew there were going to be days when it would drizzle and my damn TV would go out and sure enough it happened a few times. We had a thunder storm today and the electric flickered as it typically does during thunderstorms. The lightening fried my DVR! I was too through. I unplugged the DVR, nothing. It is completely dead.

I called DirecTV and those bastards told me that they wouldn't send anyone out. If they did I would have to pay $50. They would mail me another box and I would have to set it up myself and all of this for the low, low cost of $20. Are you kidding me?

I have to pay for another box to be shipped AND set it up myself? When the hell did horrible customer service become the norm? Yikes. I can not wait until I move from this place and get rid of DirectTV.

Monday, July 4, 2011

You Are So Way Off Base

Wow. I can't believe its been so long since I've posted on my blog. I will definitely try to do better. It's the 4th of July and not one person had a cookout this weekend. What kinda crap is that? What is this world coming to when you can't even scam a free meal on the 4th of July? Geesh.

Yesterday, I was hanging out shopping with a friend of mine who I will refer to as Celestial because her head and ideas are often out there in the clouds somewhere. Anyway, Celestial and I were shopping and she was going on and on about how terrible her daughters boyfriend is. I must admit, the boy is not the most responsible person in the world that is for sure but who really is the best they can be at 20? I mean really. The kid is only 20 so understand that he is young and the person he is now is not the person he will be in 5 or 10 years from now.

With that said, he and her daughter do have a son together that is currently in the hospital fighting for his life because he is a preemie and is only 1.5 lbs. The boyfriend is always at the hospital checking on his son, being there. The kid doesn't have a job right now and he lives with his mother but he is trying to find a job so what more do you want from him? He and his mother are always at the hospital like a dutiful father is supposed to do. What more does she want from him?
Celestial is constantly bashing him and making it increasing difficult for him to be there for his son. I'm not trying to say this kid is perfect and is the greatest thing walking. He has made terrible mistakes and hasn't treated Celestial's daughter with the respect she deserves but again, he is 20 and has a lot of growing up to do.

When I try to tell her this she doesn't want to hear it. She strongly feels he needs to walk away because she thinks it would be the best for the child and I totally think she is wrong. With so many men running as far away from their responsibilities as they can she should be happy that he is trying to be there as a stand up guy.

Celestial grew up without a father so she is jaded and is passing all that baggage onto her daughter and is trying to perpetuate the cycle by having her grandson grow up with out a father. She just can't see what she is doing and I am getting so frustrated with her.

UGH! We are not the same person today that we were when we were 20 so she needs to understand that this kid will grow and change over the years so cut him some slack.

Friday, June 17, 2011

It's Gotta Face!!!

Ok so I went to this restaurant yesterday that a friend suggested. I saunter up to the bar and take a seat so that I can order my dinner to go. I ordered and waited for my dinner to arrive. As I waited I was sipping on a Sierra Mist and just taking in the sights when the gentleman sitting next to me commented on how nice my nails were. I was wearing a french manicure design. The bartender also commented on my nails. He went on to say that men generally don't notice or care about what color your nails are but it's something about a French manicure that gets their attention. Go figure. I had no idea men appreciated something as simple and girlie as a french manicure. I thanked them both and continued my wait. Finally I get my food and I leave.

It never dawned on me to look at the food prior to getting home. Once I got home and settled down on the sofa I opened the Styrofoam box and was horrified. I ordered a stuffed trout and when I opened the box the fish still had his head on! I never eat food with the face and head still attached. That is just too creepy for me. I regained my composer and opened the trout from the middle where the stuffing was. I was too creeped out to ever close the fish back up. I just kept eating from the middle and trying to think of something other then that face.

Can you eat food that has a face or head on it?

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Put Down The Damn Phone!

OK, so I went to dinner last night with a group of people. When I got to the restaurant I, unfortunately, had to sit next to this really young girl. She said absolutely nothing the entire evening. From the time I walked in until we all left this chick was buried in her phone. She didn't put that phone down for one minute.

People, let me ask you; when did it become acceptable to go out for an evening and spend the entire time playing with your phone?

I became so annoyed with her it was unreal. If all you wanted to do was play with your phone then you should have kept you butt at home. It is incredibly rude to sit at a table for dinner with people and ignore them and play with your phone all night. It's rude and not acceptable.

How did we get to this point? I know with facebook and Twitter and email at our fingertips that it's become extremely easy but how did we become a society of people too busy playing with phones and gadgets that they can't engage in real human interaction when we are in a room full of people?

Sunday, June 5, 2011

I Ate Too Damn Much

This has been a very interesting week. I spent the entire week in Baltimore for work being bored out of my mind. I am working on a project and my ex boss' boss really pissed me off with his non-support. If I was a lesser person I would punch him right the face. Whatevs.

I went to brunch with some really cool ladies today and then later I went to a dinner with some other really nice ladies. We went to a mongolian restaurant for dinner and it was really good. I hadn't been to mongolian place since the early 2000's when I worked in DC.

Anyway after all that eating I am in a food induced comma sitting on my couch now watching Get Him To The Greek. I am so in love with Russell Brand's crazy ass. Maybe it's just this food haze I'm in.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

We So Can't Hang Out Anymore

Since I've been here in Atlanta I've met some really cool people. One person, whom I'll call CeeCee, is particularly cool. She and I both like spoken word so we have been attending several spoken word events lately.

She appears to be really cool. I'm sure you are probably asking, "Well what is the problem Tee?" I'll tell what the problem is, we both have the same taste in men.

That my friend is a problem. We both see a good looking man come into the venue and we are both just looking and salivating. This is not good.

I see nothing good coming from our friendship, just alot of screaming and hair pulling. I think I need to end this now before it goes bad.

See ya CeeCee, it's been real.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

I've Made a Decision

After much deliberation, I've made a decision. I've decided that as much as I hate to move it's time I move once again. I know you all are saying, "But Tee, you JUST moved to Atlanta almost four months ago." I know, I know, but when it's time to go it's time to go.

Oh, I'm not going back to Baltimore. Hell no. I need to move from the apartments where I live. They are cute and all but the service here is horrible. Our building looks like we are in the ghetto because they are too cheap and inconsiderate to power wash our building. People I can't live like this. I'm not used to living in conditions that are not up to par. I took this weekend to look at a few apartments in the really nice section of town called Ashford Dunwoody. Very nice people. I found a place that I absolutely love. I'm going to continue looking though. I'm going to take the whole spring and summer to look actually. There are some really nice neighborhoods to consider like Midtown, Atlantic Station and Buckhead. I think by October or November I should have a firm decision on what area I want to live in.

I do hate the whole process of moving. I hate it with a passion but I need to get out of here and the sooner I do it the better. I figure October or November would be great since people typically don't move during those times and complexes traditionally offer great discounts and move in specials.

I'll keep you all posted on the developments.

All I have to say is that I LOVE the ones in Ashford Dunwoody. And bonus...the apartments I looked at are all across from the great Perimeter Mall! Score!

I'm going to be in so much trouble.

Monday, May 16, 2011

This Really Stinks!

OK, so I finally broke down. I resisted for far too long and just realized life would be better if I just gave in.

Give in to what you ask? This getting old shit! This getting old crap sucks and there is nothing I can do about it. I was at a restaurant with a group of people and I was having trouble reading the menu and the check when it came. When I have my contacts in I can see great except when it comes to reading. I look like an 80 year old woman trying to read. It's pathetic. One of the people that was at dinner handed me her reading glasses and suggested I try them. I put those things on and Viole! I could read! It was amazing! I was actually able to read the check. Unbelievable.

You know what I did? The very next day I went out and bought my very own pair of reading glasses and they are amazing! I even bought a cute clear pink case for them.

So now I am one of these old people that you see that stretches out their arms trying to read a menu then whips out a pair of glasses from her purse and puts them on. Oh God, its official, I'm old.

Friday, May 6, 2011

Home Sweet Home

I spent the last two weeks in Baltimore, minus the weekend, and I am finally home for good and I can't tell you how glad I am to finally sleep in my own bed tonight!

I was seated next to two young girls on the plane that were about 16 or 17. They were so cute. They felt the need to tell me that they just left New York and DC. This was their first time on a plane. They kept asking me questions about what to expect. "Can we use our phones?" "Can we use our iPods?" "Are we starting to go down now?" They were too cute.

They are from a very small town in Georgia with a population of 2000 and NY and DC was just a bit too much for them and they were glad to be getting back to their simple, small town lives.

The cute meter went off the charts when the one sitting next to me stated that she couldn't wait to get home to see her father. He just got home after spending a year in Afghanistan. She only spent 1 day with him before she had to go out of town. Aaaawwwww.

In stark contrast, there was this little kid seated behind me that kept kicking my chair. I wanted to pop him upside his head. Don't get it twisted, I will fight a kid.

Sunday, May 1, 2011

One Dress Should Not Cause THIS Much Drama!

So, last Sunday I walk into White House Black Market, one of my most favoritest stores ever!, and saw this really beautiful white strapless dress. I get their catalog and saw it in there and fell in love before I ever saw it in person. So I get to the store and immediately try on the dress and viole! The dress fits amazingly and looks really good on me. Want to see the dress? Here it is!

It looks way better on me then her but whatevs. I bought it at the Baltimore store when I got there on travel for business. So I was scheduled to be in Baltimore until Friday afternoon so I had the dress hanging in the hotel closet all week. I was all giddy with excitement trying to figure out just the perfect place to wear this treasure then it hit me! I had a fundraiser at this really swanky hotel in downtown Atlanta the following Saturday when I returned home.

So, fast forward to Friday. I go to the airport at the end of my work day ready to board the next thing smoking back to Atlanta. I get on the plane, stow the dress that is nicely protected by a beautiful black garment bag given to me by the store clerk. I take my seat and try to relax a bit until we touch down.

Fast forward 2 hours and I am grabbing my carry on's and exiting the plane with the quickness because I am anxious to get home. I get down to baggage claim and as I reach down and grab my red suite case from the carousel I immediately loudly exclaimed, "SHIT!" as I realized I left the garment bag with my beloved white strapless dress pictured above in the over head compartment on the plane! I start to freak out and I run to the lost baggage area to see if they can call someone to go on the plane and retrieve my bag. Simple right? Not so much. They call and no one sees the bag. I was told that after they cleaned the plane if it was located they would bring it to lost and found in a matter of hours. I asked if I could go up to the gate and look for the dress myself. The troll lady at the counter send me to ticketing to get a gate pass to go up there. I get to ticketing and "smiling bitch" looks at me completely clueless as to what to do then goes to find someone else to help. Two other people walk by and after a couple of calls and explaining over again my plight I finally get a gate pass but was informed the plane was currently boarding with new passengers on their way to some wonderful far off destination I'm sure. I go back to the lost baggage area and asked the folks if I could leave my bags there as I would make better time running through the airport without lugging a suite case and a large computer bag in toe. They refused. Good times. I run as fast as I could with all that crap I had to get through security. Aaaawww, the wonderful TSA agents. Gotta love them.

They scan my bag and proceed to pull me over to the side and go through my bag. I scream at them that I am tyring to retrieve my bag and the plane was about to leave. They did not care. They go through my stuff and take out my nail polish remover, lotion, hair spray, hair product and body wash. I am getting further pissed because I need my stuff. You all know how expensive Bath and Body works and hair products can be. They proceed to throw my shit away further exacerbating the issue. I finally get out of there and RUN to the gate and guess what? Go ahead, guess. Exactly, the plane is gone and there is no sign of my bag. I am pissed.

I go back to the lost baggage office. If any of you have ever gone in and out of Atlanta Hartsfield Airport you know that nothing is close by. I had to ride train after train to get to where I needed to go followed by running down long hallways.

Anyway, I get back to the lost baggage office and they tell me, again, there is nothing they could do and all I can do is go on a website and explain what happened. Um yeah. I get home hours later and proceed to do just that.

I get up and call the airline first thing and get a recorded line and nothing else. I decide that I really want this dress for that fundraiser later that night so I go to the White House Black Market store in The Mall of Georgia. I buy the dress again and wear it and look fabulous I might add. Had a great night.

The next morning, today, I get up and head back to the airport to go back to Baltimore for the week and decide to make one last effort to see if they could find my original dress. Lo and behold I found one nice lady that decided to make a few phone calls that were not made that Friday night. While she is making calls she is also filling out a report that was never taken when this whole thing went down. She finds out that my dress is hanging up at the very gate I came in on a couple nights ago. I run over to the gate and viole! my dress in hanging in a cubby. I am beyond thrilled.

I make it all the way to the opposite end of the corridor to my actual gate and hop on my plane to head back to Baltimore. I land and hot tail it over to the original store I first bought the dress and return it for a full refund so after all of that alls well and ends well.

Oy vey!

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

You Need To Sit Down!

Usually, I do not get all political on my blog because this is my happy place and politics have no place here but when I see the level of fuckery that I see now I must say something.

Will someone please tell Donald Trump to sit his ass down. Really. Just because you run a multi million dollar conglomerate does not mean you have the wherewithall to run an entire country. What makes you think you have the diplomacy to balance the ever volatile foreign policy for example?

All "The Donald" knows how to do is fire people and pick media fights with folks, i.e. Rosie O'Donnell, Bill Cosby and Jerry Seinfeld. Jerry Seinfeld? Really? Who fights with Jerry?

Donald, come here for a minute, listen closely, you can not issue poison pen letters and engage in verbal wars with everyone that disagrees with you.

And another thing, why the hell are you so focused on seeing and then disputing our current president's birth certificate? This "birthergate" is asinine and ridiculous.

Donald, go sit down somewhere please.

Friday, April 22, 2011

I Was Sent to Remedial Wii

My nieces bought their Wii game with them on their visit to see me. That was genius because it kept them busy while I worked. Yesterday my oldest niece asked me to play a game with her and I said sure. So I go into the living room and we begin playing some sort of Mario driving game. I just knew I was going to lay the smack down on her.

Well, things didn't turn out the way I anticipated. That damn car was all over the road. I could not stop that thing from smashing into every wall and barrier there was. She changed courses for the next game to something called the Coconut Mall which was supposed to eliminate any falling off cliffs on my part. Uh, not so much. I kept falling over the elevator. She then loudly proclaimed, "How do you fall over an elevator?" Whatevs.

She then declares that I need some practice time and then sent me to remedial Wii by setting up the game in training mode so that I could get some practice before I played again.

I think I may never drive again. Hell, bring out Galaga or Space Invaders and it's on!