Monday, December 28, 2009

Is That A Banana In Your Pocket Or Are You Just Happy To See Me?

We have all at some point gone out on a night on the town with our besties. A night of dancing, eating perhaps and drinking and God knows what else. There were laughs and memories created that last a lifetime. I love hanging out with my friends and wish I had the opportunity to do it more often. I really need a new group of friends but I digress…where was I? Oh yeah.

Anyway, on one such night several years ago my bestie at the time and I decided to venture out to a hot spot in DC. Trying to park in DC is hell but once we finally did locate a parking spot we walked into the club to find it was packed, wall to wall people everywhere. No problem, I can adapt.

This club was dark, smoky and had laser lights streaming from the ceiling. It had 3 floors so of course we had to check out the happenings on each and every floor. One of the floors had some hard hitting bass and fast paced rhythmic music playing so I was all too ready to get on the dance floor and shake my butt around for awhile.

This one young man (and I used the term loosely) asked me to dance. I guess witnessing my fist pumps, head bobs and stomps gave him the sense that I needed to get to that dance floor immediately so I grabbed his extended hand and he led me to the floor. We twisted and dipped and slid all over the floor. It was a lot of fun. Then all of a sudden BAM! A slow song comes on. If any one knows me they would know that unless you are my man I don’t dance to a slow song but against my better judgment I decided to go ahead and dance with this guy. Things were fine for a while then all of a sudden I could feel his hips moving a little more then they were initially. Next I could feel something poking out at me from his pants and he kept trying to rub it against me! I jumped back to put some distance between us because obviously dude was getting a little too into the dance. Every time I would step away from him he would step up closer. I was like “Dude, if you don’t back that thing away from me we are going to have a situation on our hands.”

He backed up then when the song was over I ran away from that dance floor as fast as I could.

I thought grown ass men were able to control their hard on’s. Men, just as an FYI, that’s just nasty.

20 People saying stuff:

Moooooog35 said...

We can't control that thing.

It has a mind of it's own.

Throw in Viagra and forget it..it's like Mardi Gras down there..you never know where he's gonna end up and how many beads he'll be wearing.

I forget where I was going with that.

Jules said...

Eeeewwwwwwwww, it's been awhile since I've slow danced with someone other than Hubby and no I remember why!

JStar said...

Yea, I hate that...Thats why I dont normally dance with people I dont already know...And esp in these clubs here in DC...Esp a go go....Off the hook!

Queen-Size funny bone said...

Two heads and not a brain between the two

That one girl said...

Oh no, it's like an 8th grade dance all over again! Ahhhh!

P.S. Love the new blog look. I'm catching up on my blogs so forgive me if I missed the awesomeness!

Senorita said...

That is so tasteless, but it doesn't surprise me. I've given up on bars and clubs for that reason. I swear, those places at least in my town come with a complimentary VD. Men have no problem grabbing my ass cheeks. So so wrong !

DSC said...

I rarely dance at clubs for this very reason. I've even had guys try to do that on a fast song! I guess maybe they think that is a good thing,you know giving the ladies a little taste of what they could be in for ... kind of like the samples you get at Costco.

Just telling it like it is said...

Okay this takes me back to 9th grade with the banana and condom exercise ....Imagine my disappointment when I actually saw a penis and it was not nearly as big as the banana and and I had no idea that it came with 2 balls!!! Shocker I know...can't they warn you about these things?

Kelley @ magnetoboldtoo said...

Moooooog35's comment cracked me up.

Totally forgot what I was going to say. But I have this weird hankering for a banana.

shorty said...

I might be the only one that this does not bother.

The boner dancing is a bit off, but something about randomness is cool.

Isn't that the fun of an evening out? Isn't that the point of clubs.

I love to get grinded up against, it's the only time I get felt up anymore.

Something about a stranger grazing past you and then you both turn to apoligize to one another, but your eyes catch and you realize you are not that sorry after all.

Yeah, I digress.

The Peach Tart said...

That was nasty. Control that thing on the dance floor buddy.

laughingattheslut said...

I imagine even the lowest slut expects dinner first.

Did this guy even get your name first?


The word verification thing says "mixed."

Ranger Tom said...

I'll comment "No Comment"...

L said...

They definitely can't control it LOL

It's creepy sometimes too! We're dancing with some guy and out of nowhere BAM! there it is.

Tanyetta said...

LMAO at Moooo#1 commenter!

Menopausal New Mom said...

OMG, with a stranger! I don't know, I guess it's just something men gotta do. I don't think that they can control the "thing" but for God sake, they should be able to control whether or not they rub it into you!

Liam said...

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,ha.... I was on the floor laughing. He probably got the reaction he wanted.

I agree that he was an ass. Sorry for laughing.

I wanted to say that I officially closed my blog.

Have a great New Year

thank you for having visited and sharing

Hug

Secretia said...

You know he was dryhumping his way to a free deluxe lap dance!

Secretia

Red Shoes said...

As John Hiatt wrote in "Little Head"...

'I'm so easily led... when the little head... does the thinking...'

~shoes~

Claudia said...

ROFLMAO that is horrible... and I am laughing at HIM not you... lol sorry you had to endure that poke :P