Monday, March 24, 2008

Way To Come out!

Ok, a few years ago I used to work as a technical trainer for this software training company. We were doing so well that we needed to add an additional trainer to our staff. They hired this woman that was actually really nice. We'll call her Bea. As time went on Bea and I became really good friends. I liked her alot.

Well, as fate would have it, I decided it was time to move on to bigger and better things so I gave my two week notice that I was leaving. My boss and co workers decided on my last day to take me out to dinner to celebrate my new job and to wish me well. I thought it was a very sweet gesture.

We all gathered at this really cool restaurant and ate and laughed and had a really good time. When we were done we realized the night was still young so Bea had this brilliant idea to keep the party going and drop in on this really happening night spot downtown. Kay (another co-worker) and I were down so the three of us went on to this club after dinner.

Once we got in there Kay and I immediately realized this was not your ordinary bar. Oh no. As we all stood around talking and drinking and playing pool in the back Kay and I kept feeling this weird vibe going on in this place but kinda brushed it off.

As time went on I needed to visit the little girls room. As I announced my intent Bea suddenly realized she had to go as well. No biggie. We find the ladies room and once I opened the door I noticed that there was just one stall in this one bathroom. I was a little apprehensive. Bea seeing my trepidation said, "You go ahead first. I'll just turn my head while you go." A little weirded out I agreed and began to use the bathroom. While doing so Bea and I are holding a conversation. "So Diva, how are you enjoying this place?"

"Oh it's a cool spot. Lots of fun."

"You notice any weirdness?" she asks.

Oh, you mean besides you standing in the bathroom while I pee. Not at all. "No. No weirdness, just like a funny vibe or something."

"I don't know if you noticed this or not but this is a gay bar." she says.

OK! That explains the vibe I was getting. I'm cool. I can deal. No problem. "Oh. OK. I've never been to a gay club before."

"I come here alot. I don't know if you noticed or not but I'm gay too."

Oh noooo!!! I have never stopped peeing so quickly in my life!!! I zipped up my pants so fast I got dizzy. I tried not to act phased by what she said and simply replied, "Oh really. I hadn't notice."

She picks this very moment to come out. This very moment when we are both locked in a bathroom together with my pants down to tell me some crap like this. After I washed my hands I told her, "I'll wait for you outside."

Damn if I'm gonna get caught in there now. She and I remained friends for years afterward but that was a weird night. lol

Just an FYI....people, please rethink coming out when you are locked in a bathroom with someone. I'm just saying.

37 People saying stuff:

Don said...

Oh noooo!!! I have never stopped peeing so quickly in my life!!!

hahahahahahahahahahaha!

Too funny. Sorry you had to experience that. Also, I absolutely love the way you write.

B said...

LMAO. Good thing I wasn't drinking anything when I read this!

Nicole P said...

Holy Moly!! That is hysterical. I would have totally freaked out.
Not that I have any issues with someone being gay, as long as it does not DIRECTLY involve me.

CarmenSinCity said...

ha ha - good times. She definitely picked an awkward time to come out!

durtymo said...

*CRACKIN UP* You did NOT stop yo pee in mid stream did you? LMBAO!!!! Geesh! Take about tact. Seriously! I wouldda kept peeing and been like bytch you bet not even THINK about side eyeing me tryna catch a glance. LOL!!!

Haute in LA said...

I just LOL right here at my desk. Got people looking at me funny. Hilarious! I think I'll stick around.

BTW, found you via B-more BAP!

MP said...

LMFAO!!! That is too funny. I spit out my water! She should not have come out to you with your pants down locked in a bathroom. You were already feeling weird!

B_More BAP Life said...

OMG! People can be so random sometime :-) UGH!

MysTery said...

LOL!! Well dang.

Eb the Celeb said...

lmao @ you zipped ya pants up so fast that you got dizzy

The Ambiguous Blob said...

Okay, thanks for the badgering. Allright... I like girls. I love them, actually. They're beautiful and I will try to get them to pee with me every chance I get.
Better? Haaa.

Sojourner G said...

"Oh noooo!!! I have never stopped peeing so quickly in my life!!! I zipped up my pants so fast I got dizzy."

That is the funniest thing I've read in a month! Wow!

tAnYeTTa said...

"I come here alot. I don't know if you noticed or not but I'm gay too."

*dead*

Opinionated Diva said...

LOL!!! Obviously she did that for a reason. She was testing you to see if you'd be down for a little Bathroom Slap and Tickle!!! LMAO!

I am cracking up at the image of you stopping in mid wizz!! LOL

Lys said...

Diva - I think Bea had a bit of "affection" for ya. I just about lost it reading this story.

I just don't know why she felt like coming out in the bathroom of all places

Pageant Mom said...

She might ought to re-think her approach...

That is absolutely hysterical!!

Claudia said...

"I'm just saying."

LMAOOO!!!! Oh boy I needed that giggle, sorry it happened like that girl.

Hee!

lisa q. said...

haha...too funny! thanks for laugh girl!

magnoliapeach said...

LMAO @ her coming out, while you were taking a pee!!!! Bet you never took a stranger in the bathroom with you again! LOL

Shai said...

It seemed she was anxious to let you know before you moved on to the new job. SMH. It was an underlay for the overplay. She was itching to tell beforehand and found her last time to try.

JoeInVegas said...

Hmmm, maybe you stopped things a little too fast. Never know how things might have come out.

OHmommy said...

LMAO.

Oh my gosh... hysterical!

CapCity said...

Ms. Diva - u gots to be one of the Sweetest women left on earth. I'm so amazed that the place only had a "vibe" & not same sex couple slobbin' each other down. LOLOL! Especially since B'more has been known for "dykes" long before homosexuality was called "gay".

Otherwise, how u been?

Vi said...

LOL! Apart from that experience, I hope you had a good night. Gay bars are so much fun!

david mcmahon said...

Great timing!

1/3 of what I used to be said...

WOW! Did she really have to come out like that? OMG lol U better then me. I would have been pissed lol

soumynona said...

"I can deal"
I love this story!

Seven said...

ROFL LMAO!

laughingattheslut said...

Well, I read the post a couple of days ago and just stopped by to read more comments.

And I just realized that if she goes to that club a lot then she most have known that the bathroom only had the one stall.

Momma said...

LOL! I actually had a woman jump my bones in the restroom once before. I've never gone back to that bookstore again. Very uncomfortable...
"I'm sure you're quite nice and all, but uh...you're just not my type!"

Peace - D

CHEWY said...

Coming out of the closet is one thing... coming out in the toilet is quite another. I would never take my straight friends into a gay bar without giving telling them first. I'm glad you remained friends after that awkward situation she put you in.

Anna said...

Lol, that was a funny story, lol, thanks for sharing. Just visiting from David's blog. Anna :)

Freckle Face Girl said...

That is the funniest coming out story I have ever heard. :)

CrazyCath said...

Oh that is so funny! Enough to make you stop peeing immediately!
Love it.

Over from David's blog.

imbeingheldhostage said...

Well, I am glad there's no gay people in my house right now because I think I just wet my pants--no stopping for me! -- holy crap this was funny!

smileyes said...

OMG - that is just hysterical!!!

TheVasquez3 said...

HILARIOUS!!!

i came by way of Gutter's blog.


this is good stuff!