Monday, February 23, 2009

My Date With A Serial Killer


My weekend was a very interesting one to say the least. I’ll fill you in on part of it now and the other shenanigans later this week.

I’ll start off with the breaking news flash that I had a date. Before you get all excited keep reading.

First, his appearance led you to believe this guy was a mild mannered, unassuming, Mr. McGoo (pitcured above) type. He had these dorky glasses and was very thin and probably the nerdiest, uncool guy you would ever want to meet.

I thought to myself, ‘Ok, he’s not my type but I’ll roll with the evening anyway because that’s what I do….I’m a roller.

Anyway, the more he talked the more of his Charles Manson personality came out. It was scary to see this transformation. I kept thinking to myself, ‘Oh my goodness, I’m on a date with a serial killer!’ I can totally see him cutting my body up into a million little pieces and putting them in trash bags.

He began telling me how a friend of his that he hadn’t seen in 20 years showed up out of the blue at his custody hearing a couple years ago and testified on his ex wife’s behalf against him. He felt betrayed. His friend expressed to the judge how Mr. McGoo had a quick temper. Hmmmmm. Red flag #1.

Then he tells me how he hates the dating scene especially clubs. He, apparently, asked a young lady to dance at a local night spot and she declined but a few short minutes later another guy asked the same young lady to dance and she accepted. He felt so angry that after she got back to her table he felt the need to go up to her and "cuss her out" for not accepting his invitation. Red flag # 2.

He then proceeds to tell me about not one but 3 coworkers he had to “cuss out” because they angered him in some way. Red flag #3.

According to him, his ex wife used his kids against him to the point where he does not have any contact with his children whatsoever. Hmmmmm…. Red flag #4.

As he is talking and moving from one story to the next I’m just taking this all in and notice that his facial expressions change rapidly from happy to mad as hell and it’s actually quite frightening to witness. Red flag #5.

I ate as quickly as possible and ended my date with Charles Mansion with the mindset that hell will freeze over before I ever lay eyes on him again.


33 People saying stuff:

Queen-Size funny bone said...

Sometimes you have to date a few rocks before you find the true Gems.

Jeni said...

I chuckled a bit over the Charles Manson comment but by the time I came to the end of this post, I was seeing every bit as much of a Charles Manson type there as you were. Holy Rip! Red flags all over the place!
Peace.

Karen said...

Um...glad you made it out alive. Sounds like a catch. If you are not going out with him again, can I have his number? ;-)

Princess Extraordinaire said...

Oooh - stay far far away!

Melissa said...

Wow, it's a good thing you got out of there as quickly as possible. It's amazing to me how much information people will tell you and apparently they think it's a good quality they have!

Tanyetta said...

LMAO! I bet he was on a roll too!

Dang, was the food good at least? :)

Tanyetta said...

Well, since the food was good:

I can't wait until he goes on his next date and complains that his last date (you) ate so fast and rolled out before he could take his Urkel glasses off to give you a kiss! LMAO!!

Let me stop. Don't kick me OK? :)

Fabulously Broke said...

I felt a chill go up my spine.

*shiiiiiiiiver*....

dmarks said...

Manson?

Sounds like he went from being one of those "Big Bang Theory"/Urkel nerds to being one of those guys where the neighbors say "oh, he was a nice quiet man" when they are interviewed by the local news after a horrible incident involving him.

Hopefully he wasn't a Trekkie.

Renaissance Woman said...

LOL...I love crazy dating stories. I love them best when its somebody else's experience...because it would usually be me telling you this story. Run...run very fast.

Tanyetta said...

How WRONG am I that I am BACK to read the story and comments again?

LMAO!!!!!

Trekkie, Manson, this is just HILARIOUS.

freckledk said...

One red flag is one red flag too many!

B said...

Would you mind writing something up for my true crime blog? lol I'm just kidding but glad you made it out alive!

CarmenSinCity said...

Whoa - what a crazy date! I'm glad you made it home safely - he sounds scary. Dating is so annoying isn't it?

Tonya said...

I hope he doesn't know where you live. That would seriously freak me out. Glad you came out of it alright.

SSC~ The Domestic Diva said...

Thank goodness he doesn't know where you live!

Karyn Beach said...

It's amazing what people say! What's scary is that they really have no clue how they look to other people. That was crazy!!!!

Not Fainthearted said...

That is too scary! See? This is why I never let any of them pick me up at the house. Can you imagine if this guy knew where you lived??

searchingwithin said...

Good thing this guy knows nothing about the art of being mysterious.

Best Wishes

lisaq said...

Yikes! Run. Run like the wind!

shorty said...

I hope the rest of the weekend was better than that.

This is why I don't want to date.

I have one on the line though. I met him on the net. That can't end well, but he's nice enough and something to keep my mind busy.

Terri said...

you got lucky only hearing about red flags thru #5, not being red flag #6!!

Joe said...

A cereal killer? Was it a breakfast date?

Oh..wait. You said "serial." Never mind.

Hopefully he doesn't have your contact information.

moooooog35 said...

Shit like this is why I pay for sex.

LaiLani Ali said...

Scary scary scary!!! My eyes were about bugging out of my head by the end of this. Glad you can see the signs of wacko-ness clearly. Eeek!

TravelDiva said...

Although I was cracking up as I read this, girl watch your back! If he was ticked because some girl didn't want to dance with him--when you don't want to go out with him....

What a joker!

Suze said...

Wow - just wow.

Freckle Face Girl said...

Oh, I feel for you just the fact that he is even bringing this stuff up on a first date tells you something is WRONG with him! Good thing you escaped early.

MP said...

omg! not funny! he sounds so scary and angry enough to probably be on the verge of mass murder!!!!!!!!!!

Craze said...

I think I dated him.. run!

CC said...

Sigh, I feel your pain but at least you're smart enough to heed your female killer instinct!

catscratch said...

Right.

Run. And don't look back.

f.B said...

Um.. I got to red flag #2, and was surprised you stayed after that. Crazy weirdos usually don't give that many hints so fast.