Thursday, June 3, 2010

How Strong Are Your Dating Convictions?

I think those of us that have been in the dating pool at one time or other have grown accustomed to formulating a list or guideline that we'd like our potential mates to follow. Guidelines they must fall within or else they quickly get thrust into the pool of dating losers which seems to grow at quite a rapid pace.

Some of us have religious or spiritual guidelines that our potential love interest must adhere to. My question to you is just how strong are your religious convictions? Would you be willing to date someone that had vastly different views on the subject then you do? How would you handle raising kids? Who's views would prevail in that instance? If you had a strong religious background could you see yourself dating an atheist?

The person I end up with must have at least some of the similar fundamental beliefs that I do otherwise I think we'd always be at odds with one another.

Have you ever dated or married someone that had vastly different views from you?

16 People saying stuff:

JStar said...

This is a tough one...They say love can conquer all but in these instances it will be hard. Its hard enough with everyones way of raising their kids...Thats important and can cause a relationship or marriage to part...I go to church regularly and would want my next man to be sitting next to me. Thats what I hope for but if not he has to have similar beliefs about our creator...Thats important to me as well. I dont see myself being with anyone who doesnt believe in God and His powers. That goes against everything I believe in. I want my family to share the same values. Some things can be compromised but those are two issues that are too important to me to let go...

The Dish said...

The Husband and I both have similar open-minded attitudes about religion and were both raised in strict Catholic households. I think that has made both of us more tolerant about religion and others' beliefs.

Having said that, i don't think I would be able to date an overly devout person if they were the type that was always preaching about it.

Moooooog35 said...

Honestly..if I ever met someone who had the same views I did, I'd run the Hell away.

That one girl said...

As long as they like Sushi...

Senorita said...

I am tolerant of all religions, but not enough when it comes to marriage.

If I am going to marry a man, he has to believe in God, and he must either be Christian, Catholic, or Jewish. (I have Jewish roots in my background)

Red Shoes said...

I'm fairly open-minded about religion/spirituality... I don't think I could handle someone long-term that was Hell-bent on conforming me to stricter standards than I have... for example, snake handling... ;o) No.. No.. No... :oD

Of course, I probably wouldn't date a snake handler anyway...

~shoes~

Chocolate Covered Daydreams said...

At first I was pretty stuck on dating guys that were Christians only. Then, I became more open minded to talking with guys who had a spiritual base to see how like minded we were. That's what makes the difference....how do your and his religious ideals blend?

Karen said...

For me, debate is a big part of passion. So having different ideas and great conversations is great for me. It is a major turn on actually.

Noelle said...

Those are some great questions. I was raised Catholic, but as an adult I've become agnostic. I'm from Boston and the whole abusive priest thing, especially the church's promotion of Cardinal Law, really made me disillusioned with the Catholic church, and organized religion in general.
So it's probably no surprise that I've been really open in the religious views of the people I've dated. My husband is Greek Orthodox, turned atheist. Before him I dated a Jewish guy for 2.5 years. His family was closer to the Orthodox side than reformed, and his mother not pleased about our relationship. He wasn't strong enough to stand up to her, which made me lose a lot of respect for him and in the end it was a main reason I broke up with him. It was the only time religion really affected my relationship, even though the idea that our religious views had to be similar didn't come from me.

Freckle Face Girl said...

I was in a 3 year relationship with an Arab (Muslim). Some people probably see that as vastly different, but I don't. I think an atheist is actually more different. It really depends more on their personality though and if they can openly talk about various ideas and beliefs without imposing their own or being judgmental.

LiLu said...

B and I agree very much on all the "important" stuff... I could never be with someone who didn't feel the same way about the things that are important to me.

love2esme said...

The longer I date, the longer my list becomes. I think the harder thing to do is not settle...harder to do tthe longer I date...

Tonya said...

My hubby and I pretty much agree on all moral issues. I couldn't image not having that common ground. I think it would be tough even if you are madly in love because eventually that crazy love wears off.

★Starrla Monae☆ said...

Different views on religion will cause a problem in any future relationship that I get into. I want a God-fearing man...he doesn't have to necessarily be apart of the same denomination as I am but he has to have a spiritual background. Two unequally yoked people...that's a recipe for disaster.

~nOe~ said...

G and I don't have same view on religion and we get into heated arguments about it. We've talked about raising kids (which is the hardest part when 2 people don't have same religious believes) and we haven't made up our minds yet. I mean, he hasn't... coz I'll raise my kids the way I was raised.
Having said that: he's very open to my religion and my religious views, but we still can't talk about religion w/o getting into HUGE arguments.
he always asks me whether I would have married a guy from my own religion and I said yes- just on my religious point of view. G has all the other stuff, but not the religious one.
I do think it affects the relationship and in order not to have arguments, we never touch the religious topics :(

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