Thursday, November 15, 2007

Blowing off Thanksgiving

I admire people that have large families. Especially if they are a very close knit family. My immediate family is rather small, just myself, my two brothers and my mother plus a few nieces and couple of nephews. That’s it. My father died many years ago unfortunately. I do have a couple aunts and uncles and several cousins all spread out from New Jersey all the way to Alabama. I am not really close with any of them actually. We all never call each other on the phone. We never visit each other.

I was reading someone’s blog the other day and she was lamenting on how she was going to be lonely this holiday season and how she wishes she had family to spend it with. Her mother lives in another state and she only has a son. It’s just the three of them.

It got me to thinking. I have family that I really couldn’t care less seeing but how would I feel if I didn’t have them. How would that make me feel to really be alone? I plan to just spend a quite Thanksgiving with The Analyst and that’s it. My one brother has to work and the other one will be alone because his wife is going to be with her family this holiday and he doesn’t get along with them. He has a major attitude problem but that is another blog post in itself.

I told him that I may go out of town with The Analyst to visit his family which is a lie because he doesn’t really like his family. So it will probably just be my brother and my mother. Maybe I’ll call him and say my plans changed and suggest we all just go to dinner at a restaurant. That I can handle. I’m just not in the mood for all the hoopla this year. I’ll make up for it on Christmas but Thanksgiving….I just want peace and quiet.

Am I wrong for not wanting to cook and clean and host people at my house for Thanksgiving?

29 People saying stuff:

ANO said...

I think going out sounds like a great idea. Thanksgiving is about spending time together, it doesn't matter who does the cooking or the cleaning!

Suzel's Sass said...

Nope, not wrong at all. Thanksgiving growing up seemed to always be a huge hassle. My mom always was in a bad mood and the relatives were a major pain in the butt.

I say go to a restaurant - eat Chinese Food and call it a day.

The Ambiguous Blob said...

holidays should only be celebrated if they're fun for YOU.
For reals, you have no obligation to a tradition that doesn't work for you.

Vi vi vi vooom!!!!!!!! said...

Well, we thanksgiving is an american thing, so I can't really answer that one hon!

Karen said...

You do whatever makes your happy. I am not spending the day with most of my family. I am cooking and having a few friends and my sister over. I know that will more fun than being with the whole family.

Sizzle said...

i don't see anything wrong with it.

Stepping Over the Junk said...

I have had thanksgivings where it has been just me and a pint of Ben and Jerry's and a movie in bed. what's wrong with potluck? or going OUT?

laughingattheslut said...

I think that there's a few good reasons to do the whole cook a turkey dinner thing for Thanksgiving: a.) that you think someone would really appreciate all the effort you went to, b.) you really enjoy showing off your cooking talents, and c.) this is the time of year that turkey is cheap and you really like eating turkey sandwiches and other stuff that is usually done with leftover Thanksgiving turkey.

I am in that last group. The "Thanksgiving turkey" will probably get cooked on the Saturday after Thanksgiving. If it turns out good, I will enjoy it, and if it turns out not so good, no one but me will be disappointed.

I think that the people who really care about seeing me would just care about seeing me and wouldn't mind seeing me at a restaurant.

I really do appreciate my mother's efforts at making turkey (or chicken) and stuffing for Thanksgiving and/or Christmas. Somehow mom and grandma know how to make it and no one else gets it quite right. But mom is somehow of the opinion that she's usually in the group that doesn't quite get it right, and if she doesn't pronounce it perfect, well...there's just no convincing her that there's nothing wrong with it, and it's just as well that we go to a restaurant that isn't as good and not watch her worry about the stuffing.


Mom's stuffing really is the best. Whatever is wrong with the stuffing is just in her head. Let's hear it for everyone's mom.

lisa q. said...

no...you're not at all wrong...there's a lot to be said for peaceful, quiet holidays...i wish i could have one myself this year...my aunt & uncle have 8 kids and about a million grandkids and great grandkids...all million and eight of them will be at my parents' this year...i'm going to need a lot of wine or some damn thing! :D

Not Fainthearted said...

Not wrong at all!! There have been many years I just wanted to take the day to curl up on the couch with a book, blanket and a big bottle of wine. And if a turkey sandwich fell on my lap great. If not...no big whoop.

Have the day you want. Not the one someone else thinks you should have.

Pageant Mom said...

When we didn't have kids, it was easier to go out. When we did it was easier to cook and stay home.

Either way, we just do what works for us. I'm not sure there is an official rulebook on Thanksgiving.

Heck, one year my parents and I had Lobster Tails and salad for our feast. YUM!!!

Claudia said...

Nope, I don't think you're wrong for not wanting that at all! There is something to be said about doing what YOU want sometimes.

Kelley said...

I am Australian. We don't have Thanksgiving.

That is what I am thankful for!

Blow it off and get some take out and be thankful for a quiet time spent with the people that you love the most. Isn't that what it is all about?

Ms.Lady said...

I don't think you're wrong at all...when I was younger we would have huge family get togethers on both sides of my fam' so I'd have 2 fun live spots to be at and as time went by people drifted apart...I had to get used to just my mom my brother and me...then came K.D and my son and that would be it...wed visit his family which is cool...but I've gotten used to quiet holidays...it doesn't hurt..kind of intimate and relaxing...so enjoy your quiet thanksgiving..I moved to another state 3 mths ago...its only me my brother and my son..enjoy what's in front of you *shrug* atleast you're not completely alone...I know people who have no one at all and work instead of feeling the loneliness that is the holidays.

DurtyMo said...

You are soooo not wrong for wanting to spend the holidays the way YOU see fit. There is no one way to celebrate , there's no manual, no guide, no script. Do YOU and enjoy! Life is too short to be concerned about stuff that really does not matter. Enjoy chile!

Sojourner G said...

Psssshhh! Whatever! Spend your time how YOU want. The holidays many different things to many different people. I love my family...and when we can get together, we do and we have a GREAT time. However, if because of schedules, distance, etc., it's not feasible, I LOVE SOME QUIET AND PEACEFUL ME TIME!

I spent one New Year's eve and day, completely alone, watching videos, attired in my most comfortable and LOVED every minute of it.

Are you wrong? Ppsshhhh! Whatever!

Mister Underhill said...

Hosting it hardly seems like much fun to me. I am not super close with my family and it gets to be a big chore to see everyone for thanksgiving so I have mostly given up on it.

-s said...

My short answer to that would be no.

I've found that the best family to have surrounding you on special occasions, is the family you choose, not the family you're genetically tied to.

Love, as opposed to guilt being the foundation for events, makes for a good time had by all.

Thanks for stopping by to visit.
Pink!!! Layout!!! It looks great!

Leoninatl said...

You are not wrong for it. One year, we said "fuck it" and went to a buffet instead. No fuss, no muss.

One year, I want to go on a cruise for Thanksgiving

Now, I have a huge family, so usually, we go out of town to see them for the Holidays (matter of fact, I'll be in the DC Urrea this year) so I have good memories of being with fam, but they can aggravate the hell out of me at the same time. Thank God for liquor stores...

BTW, thanks for the shoutout over at my blog! I appreciate it

Freckle Face Girl said...

A new stove & you don't want to dirty it up with Thanksgiving cooking? Just kidding. Holidays are meant to be happy times and should be spent with people/a person you want to be around whether that is family or friends.

*~*Cece*~* said...

I come from a large Mexican family and understand not wanting to go all the way out to spend time w/family the ENTIRE holiday season. You still have Xmas and NYE! Enjoy the quiet time.

Mizrepresent said...

Hey Gurl, though i love this time of year the most...i understand. Most of my family live in the same state as me, and yet we only really see each other on holidays, and birthdays. It's a real joy and a pain, but i do love hanging with them. I'm hosting Thanksgiving at my place, so i'm real excited about it, and seeing my family from near and far. I guess the point i want to make is, enjoy it wherever you are, whomever you choose to spend it with, just enjoy and be thankful!

CarmenSinCity said...

I don't think you are wrong. Do whatever you feel like doing, it's a holiday and you should enjoy it. Going out to eat sounds rather nice!

Princess Extraordinaire said...

You should not feel bad and you're not wrong at all - Thanksgiving is not a custom fit holiday and so much of it is commercialized anyway. I hope that you have a great quiet tie with The Analyst...

KT said...

i don't have a big family either. it's just my mother and two siblings. but since my bro and sister married it's gotten a bit better so we all try to get together on thanksgiving. which is why it's my fave holiday. xmas and easter is usually just me and my mom.

Ann(ie) said...

I think going out to eat sounds fabulous. Sometimes it comes with less pressure that way!!

SSC said...

Sometimes I would rather trade certain family members for my friends. Because my family is CRAZY. My heart goes out to that person who feels alone.

I like low key family events, however my family has it done perfectly. We drink, we all drink if we are around each other more than 2 hours for a certain event.

Vixen said...

My fiance has a small family. 4 of them. His parents are estranged from the rest of their siblings, so just him, his sister and their parents. I on the other hand have a large Italian Family and we LOVE LOVE LOVE all the "hoopla" and holiday gatherings. Though my family is in PA and I am in TN so I usually only get there for 1 holiday. This year it will be Xmas and my fiance and I will get to enjoy a smaller, quiet Thanksgiving with our 4 good friends.

But if it were just a 4some...I would go to Cracker Barrel...they have some good turkey!!

Have a great turkey day! :)

Tired of being broke said...

I do not see anything wrong with wanting a quiet thanksgiving. I never cook on thanksgiving at all.

As long as you are happy. I am not close to my family, and it does not bother me as much as before.