Friday, July 17, 2009

I Was Guilted Into A Date

I think I am going to be a perpetual dater for the rest of my life. I've come to terms with that and I'm OK with it.

I went on a date with this guy last week. I instantly knew he was not the guy for me and I decided that after that date there would be no other. I systematically ignored his phone calls and texts. I was brilliant in the art of avoidance if I say so myself.

That was until yesterday. I was walking around Walmart picking up a few things and my phone rings. Now you all know how it is when you are caught off guard. I reached in my purse to retrieve my phone to see who it was that was calling and before it could register that it was loser guy my brain somehow told my finger to press the Talk button. There I was...stuck. I immediately screamed DAMN in my head like 50 times. No seriously, I did.

He was asking me why I never called and why I ignored his text. He asked if he did something wrong to turn me off, was it his looks that turned me off, he wanted to know. Do men really do this? How could I tell this man that I had zero interest in him, that he was butt ass ugly and he would NEVER get anywhere near my lips let alone any of my other body parts? I couldn't tell him that without hurting his feelings so I did what any self respecting coward would do, I lied. I told him that he was fine and that there was nothing wrong with him and I was just busy with work. To further drive home this lie I agreed to go out with him tonight. Yeah, I'm good.

We went to see The Hangover. Can I just say that this was the funniest movie I have seen in a very long time. I also must say that during the entire time I was watching this movie I was calculating all the ways I could violate Bradley Cooper. That man could get it all day every day and twice on Sunday. That's all I have to say about that. Wow!

You know you are on a date that is going no where when you are lusting after another guy the entire time and putting him in hundreds of compromising positions in your head over and over and over and over again.

I wonder if I can block loser guy's number without him knowing it.

Oh well, I have another date with a new guy tomorrow night. Wish me luck.


25 People saying stuff:

Cerebrally_Orgasmic said...

Lol..(clappin' my hands)..a masterpiece!! I can relate my friend..I'm a serial dater and I've run into a few of these type of dudes..So how did your date end? Did he get a pity hug or a charity kiss??!!

News Revolver said...

Bad dates suck for both men and women. Speaking from a man's perspective, one thing I refuse to do is go out a second time with a woman that I'm not feeling and if she asks, believe I am going to tell her the truth: I'm just not that into you. And then I keep it movin'!

laughingattheslut said...

Well, it seems to me that dating is the process of finding that guy that you will eventually marry, and if you know from the first date that he isn't the one you shouldn't keep wasting either your time or his, and in this case you weren't even enjoying the date.

Was there maybe something about him that you could explain that without hurting his feelings? Like maybe he really wants kids and you really don't, so it would never work out anyway.

At least you got to see a good movie on the second date.

Oh, and I was wondering, if he was really butt ass ugly, how come you didn't know that before you agreed to the first date?

Queen-Size funny bone said...

okay I think you need a professional matchmaker to sift through the crappy guys and only dates with quality material.

Hit 40 said...

I have got to go see this movie!!! I have read several blogs that have talked it up. I LOVE ALL THINGS FUNNY!!

A pity date :-( Put on your big girl pants and confess to him next time that he is just not your type. I know it's a toughie. I have trouble being honest too when it comes to hurting someone's feelings.

Sue said...

Oh good luck...I have a date tomorrow and I am soooo not happy about it.

Noelle said...

Having to hurt someone's feelings is the worst, but it's usually kinder in the end (or so I used to tell myself, many moons ago when I was on the dating scene). You could always send him a link to your blog. ;)

DynamicDiva said...

I definitely think it's easier to just be upfront with him and tell him you're not interested. By going out with him, he's getting his hopes up. By his behavior and him asking you all the questions about why you've been avoiding him, he seems like the kind of guy whose ego bruises easily. Prolonging things might set him off and you don't want to have a stalker on your hands.

LiLu said...

UGHHHHHH I totally do stuff like that too! Blah... at least you got to see The Hangover out of it, though! Good call with a movie... less time to talk uncomfortably. ;-)

shorty said...

Simply mark his number " DO NOT ANSWER" That works for me : )

Other than that, I really can not comment on dating.

Queen Lindsay said...

You sound like me, a people pleaser. My inner bitch would have told him "Hell To The No" but my pleasing instincts would have sucked it up and said "Um okay"! Lol

Liam said...

I have always found that honesty is the best policy. In this case, diplomatic honesty.

If I could only listen to my own advice I would rule the world.

lisaq said...

Haha...at least you got to see a great movie!

Millennium Housewife said...

Boundaries girl! Boundaries! Say No and run....I hope he paid for the second date.

Michelle said...

I haven't had a date for months.

If I make you feel really bad will you take me out for a latte?

Tonya said...

this makes me glad I'm married. Ha :) Hope the new guy is better.

Renaissance Woman said...

LOL...I love your dating stories. And I can't believe that he called to ask why you weren't responding. Who does that?

Freckle Face Girl said...

Bad dates.... sometimes I forget the bad side of being single. There has to be an easy excuse to get out of those situations, but I don't know the answer.

JennyMac said...

Wow great...thanks for the giggles this am. And pre-caller ID I used to write DO NOT ANSWER #s as well.

Ms.Honey said...

HAHAHAHHAHAHAAH too hilarious

DizzyDimerino said...

This. Blog. Is. Awesome.

Domestic Goddess said...

Not at the table Carlos....not at the table! :)

nicole said...

if you have one of the newer phones, yu might be able to block his number on your phone and bingo-his calls cease going through.....

course if you ever change phones, you may need to put number in and reblock. i've been there-call 2 years LATER.....shoulda changed phone number after all those bad dates but didnt...LOL

lesson learned

Just_Aimee said...

Hopping by...arggh...bad dates suck. Hoping the new guy was better.

Am said...

Just found your blog through you following me on twitter, you crack me...oh and we are practically neighbors I'm in York County PA. Keep up the laughs.