Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Ask Tee

Dear Tee,

My boyfriend hit me the other day for the first time and I am confused. He apologized and everything and has been on his best behavior since but I can't help but flash back to all those shows I saw on TV where the woman was beat constantly by her man and it always started off just like this, him being sorry and her trying to forgive him but they always went back to the hitting,.

I'm afraid my man will do the same. Should I leave him or stay?

Bee


My Answer,


Dear Bee,

I'm not sure of the circumstances behind him hitting you but there is never an excuse for him putting his hands on you in a violent manner. With that said, if he has been on his best behavior then I would just put him on notice. If he ever even THINKS about putting his hands on you...RUN for the door. Do not look back.

Best of luck.


9 People saying stuff:

Unruly Brown said...

She should've busted him in the head with a bat soon as his ass went to sleep.

Okay, well, no...not everyone can be as gully. lol In that case, good advice, Tee! Maybe he won't do it again. Hope not!

JStar said...

Of course he is on his best behavior now...I would say run for the hills. I have been here. This means that he has some anger issues. Mine didnt start until about a year or so into my relationships. I been through this more than once. The only reason I would even think about making it work is if he agreed to counseling AND anger management. If he refuses, then leave him. If he truly loves you he WILL do WHATEVER he has to in order to keep you....

Jeni said...

This is a sticky wicket because it creates a lot of guilt feelings on the part of the one who was hit -wondering what was done that offended the other party in such a manner, etc., etc. But I agree with your advice, Tee and would add a bit more to that too. To put your mind of alert to other signs and signals of a potentially abusive relationship, survey whether the other party is trying to keep you away from family and friends, to try to isolate you in that manner and if the other party is controlling in other aspects of your relationship as well. I'd say be very cautious and yes, definitely put the guy on notice that you won't tolerate actions like that! (Then, get away and do it fast!)

Queen-Size funny bone said...

i would ofknocked out his teeth and see what kind of behavior he would be on after that

imbeingheldhostage said...

oooh, glad you're the one giving advice on this one. I think I'm for the bat Unruly Brown mentioned. If she were my daughter, he wouldn't get a second chance to be better behaved.

Just telling it like it is said...

Okay duhhh that is a no-brainer...

Freckle Face Girl said...

There are some things that definitely show signs of deeper problems... I would say that this one brings up big questions of what kind of issues he has.

Elisa @ Globetrotting in Heels said...

oh, that is NOT good. Once it starts, it usually happens again. get out, NOW.

Anna said...

If it happened to me, I would never be able to look at him the same (meaning probably wouldn't last). But that's me, Anna :)