Monday, December 3, 2007

I am really judgmental

For the most part I consider myself a free spirit, non judgmental. I subscribe to the credo “Live and Let Live”. However you live your life is completely up to you with no judgment from me. If you want to sleep around I usually wouldn’t call you a whore. If you where a man and drove an old beat up pick up truck I wouldn’t necessarily consider you a hillbilly redneck.

I, however, have friends that I consider extremely judgmental where others are concerned. They judge their clothes (i.e. “She dresses like a hoochie.”) and lifestyle (i.e. “Why is she sleeping around like that?”) (i.e. “Why would you live with him before marriage?”) and everything else. I actually find it particularly annoying as I feel I can not be my true self around them because I KNOW they would not understand certain aspects of my life and philosophy.

With that said I have recently come to the realization that as accepting as I am I can be a little judgmental myself. As much as I try not to be I find that I do judge sometimes. I wonder if it’s because that’s just my personality or is it that those people sort of “cross the line” of decency? I’m not sure.

I further began to question whether anyone could be truly COMPLETELY free of judgment.

Think about it….I go to the grocery store and see a woman with a pair of daisy duke shorts on with a halter top. I immediately began to judge this woman as loose or classless? I see a man with horn rimmed glasses with his hair slicked back with a pocket protector in his right pocket that is full of pens and high water pants…. I immediately judge him to be a nerd by societal standards?

I try not to judge people but can anyone really be completely non-judgmental? I supposed I am just as judgmental as the next one.

27 People saying stuff:

DurtyMo said...

I think we all judge on some level or another. Whether we say it or think it, it's all judgment isn't it? I mean when I see a women dressed the way you describe in the store, I don't immediately say she's a whore or slut but I will say now what in the world was she thinking? I think I wonder more about people's train of thought more so than judging them. *shrug* Just my two cents.

Karen said...

Much like you I don't really judge - unless you start to effect my life. Sleep around all you want and I will not call you a whore, until you sleep with my boyfriend/ex/brother/whatever. Dress like a slob and I will not give it a second thought, until you sit next to me and your body odor is so bad that I start to gag.

So I am not judgmental. I am just self-centered. LOL

ANO said...

I think on some level, we all judge others. We may not mean too, but we do. We're only human ya know!

Sizzle said...

i don't think we can be entirely free from judgment but it is a good and noble thing to pursue.

MysTery said...

I think we all judge people at some point.

But when you sit down with people and thats the majority of your conversation....something is wrong.

Vi vi vi vooom!!!!!!!! said...

Hey, judging little things like that, no, you really aren't judgemental, just have your own opnions, and at least you don't push them on anyone!

soumynona said...

Hey Diva! Not that you are confused or that you need an explanation, but what you are describing aren't judgements but they are perceptions. Perceptions are attempts to understand. They can be influenced by what we see, hear, believe, our culture, etc. While many of our perceptions may need to change they aren't judgements until we act on them. Talking about someone's lifestyle or questioning their appearance is a perception issue. It's not a judgement until you follow the thought with an action that both parties understand. Like, I'm not going to hire you because you are wearing those short shorts (I would hire you though if you wore them =>) I bet you have nice legs (now, you are perceiving me to be a freaky guy - and you'd be sort of correct. If you like freaky people, act on your thoughts and send me an email. If not - then stop judging me! LOL

Stepping Over the Junk said...

I totally judge people who wear provocative outfits. I just do. If they arent on the beach, they should cover up. That's what I think.

laughingattheslut said...

I'm kind of with Karen. I didn't judge people, unless they were doing something to me. Well, that's not quite right. If I knew someone was having sex with someone they weren't in a committed relationship with, I judged, but I didn't say anything about it.

But I guess that's wrong. I guess that's how things got so crazy out there. People do all this crap and no one says anything to them.

So then along came the Homewrecking-Slut. And there was just no talking sense to her, cause she just couldn't get it through her head that she was doing anything wrong. It was like she didn't even know that she was a slut.

As for the other stuff, I don't much care what people dress like. I hug just about everybody, as long as they've had a shower first.

Ms.Lady said...

yea..we ALL have a bit of the "judgmental" bone in our bodies...dont feel left out..as accepting as I can be..i find myself judging things as well.

Princess Extraordinaire said...

I think we'd all like to consider ourselves non-judgemental but it's impossible not to mix our gut reactions to things with our judgement of people - having said that it doesn't have to change the way you treat that person...

Don said...

I feel you to the fullest. Some people are natural haters. They hate on everything - when you are up or down. They do.

The thing is - is you are down & out, they wouldn't give a ish.

My line of thought is - DO YOU, and let me be me.

And I know you feel me.

david mcmahon said...

Judgements are labels, aren't they? And we can't label anyone unless we really know them....

CarmenSinCity said...

I am extremely judgemental! It's a terrible thing because I totally lose out on so much. Whenever I judge a person harshly, it'll inevitably turn out that they are a good person and I have to eat my words. If I was more foregiving of people's flaws, I'd probably have a boyfriend and lots of friends, but instead, I get on my high horse and make snap judgements against people and then I lose out on the friendships I could have formed.

Noe said...

We all judge... even if we dont say it out loud.
Would be nice not to... but we're humans. :P

Shanti said...

I think subconsciously we all judge others and ourselves. Albeit some are a tad more judgmental than others but still I don't think it is possible to be 100% non-judging(hehe)

lisa q. said...

as much as i hate to say it, i think we all judge on some level...

Torrance Stephens bka All-Mi-T said...

sounds like it but u r col, u called it yourself

Claudia said...

Well, we all gotta think about something, right? at least you aren't shoving your thoughts on other's.

and as sizzle said, it is a noble thing to pursue.

minijonb said...

you're not judgemental... just very perceptive. big difference.

...hey! what's wrong with nerds?!?

=:-)

charmcitygirl said...

This is exactly why I started my charmcityscene blog. I don't want my city to be judged by TV programs like The Wire or statistics like the murder rate. There is always more to a person or a place.

Betty said...

We ALL do it. Anybody who says they don't is deluded or a liar.

tAnYeTTa said...

Ditto what Betty said :)

*~*Cece*~* said...

Everyone judges other people. We're use to our lives and all that it entails so when we see something we wouldn't do then we judge them. I don't think its mean. Its natural. What is mean, however, is acting on it. Like hate crimes and slander. So what if in your own mind think Oh what a hoocie mama to dress like that. Once the thought is complete you're done w/her, right? But to go out to her car and write WHORE on it is a whole 'nuther Oprah.

SSC said...

You are going to rot in hell you hypocrite!!!!!!!!

Whatever you know its normal to judge just don’t act on it, if that makes sense. Just because someone looks like a nerd don’t go out of your way not to talk to them or befriend them. Look what happened when I talked to Joe and vise versa, he probably thought I was a hoochie. Now look where we are, looking at somewhere between happily ever after or something like that.

Its okay we all do it. I still make fun of Joe!!!!! Just kidding!!!!

Blah Blah Blah said...

I think I am too caught up on myself to even notice someone long enough to be judgemental.

...yea...so what! lol I am clueless most times.

Mizrepresent said...

I also try not to be judgemental...but we are human, and it is perfectly understood that we are and will be judgemental to a point...it's always funny though when i do judge someone and they turn out to be completely opposite, so though i may judge, i'm still open to whomever they are or want to be.