Monday, July 7, 2008

Talk About Dedication

I was talking on the phone yesterday with an old co-worker turned friend. It was a brief conversation as many of them with her are but enlightening nonetheless. 2 ½ years ago when I met "D" we became fast buddies. I found her interesting and funny.

During the course of my working at this company an unfortunate event transpired that landed her boyfriend in jail. It took her quite sometime to admit that to me but once she did I was not surprised. I had surmised as much by snippets of conversations we had about him. Now she is the type of woman that will stand by her man regardless just as I am so it was no surprise that she is her man's most staunch supporter in his efforts to be released.

Fast forward 2 ½ years later and this man is still in jail and "D" is still fiercely trying to gain his release. She is still by his side, in the trenches fighting right along side him. This is where she and I part company.

See, if my man was falsely accused of a crime then I would be the first in line trying to obtain the best lawyers and fighting with everything in me, never giving up on him. BUT, let The Analyst go to jail on some dumb shit like robbing someone or selling drugs and his stupid ass would stay in that jail…alone.

That might sound harsh but I just can't condone committing senseless crimes like that. I just can't. They both had good jobs so I can't fathom a reason for the crime for which he was convicted. I refuse to put my life on hold for such madness. "D" has, essentially put her entire life on hold these past 2 ½ years.

I'm sorry but that couldn't be me. Would you stand by your mate for 2 ½ years or more while they are in jail?

25 People saying stuff:

youknowyoudeadazzwrong said...

DIVA!! Get outta here with them crazy questions.

Fuk No! That's all I got..

LOL@ let the analyst commit a crime...lol....you like I wish dis nig would!

Craze said...

You know, I really don't think I could stand by him.

Nicole P said...

Wow, that is a tough question. I guess it all depends on the situation. I probably (depending on the crime) wouldn't divorce my husband if he went to jail, but he is my husband and we have kids together.
But if it was a guy that I was only dating and had made no real commitment to (marriage, children, etc), they no, I would not stand by him.
But this kind of reminded me of the movie Con Air. I thought it was so sweet how he and his wife were so devoted to each other all through the time he was in jail.

KT said...

no way jose. so outta there!

Karen said...

As someone who deals with criminal on a weekly (or so) basis, I will tell you that people are very rarely TOTALLY innocent and a victim of the justice system.

There is no way I would stand by a bf as they served time. MAYBE a husband, but a bf --- no way.

Suze's Sass said...

I don't even stand by my hubby during the grocery line check out. Um, kidding.

No, I wouldn't wait for two years for a boyfriend to get out of jail for a stupid crime.

MysTery said...

Hmmm. I doubt it.

Sandi McBride said...

Okay, I'm with you...but then I'm still a cop at heart, retired or no...and if Mac committed some stupid ass crime, he'd be all along and on his own...but if he were innocent, well, that's different, right? If D knows he's guilty, she's barking up the wrong tree, but I'm sure you've already told her that...
Sandi

SMILF said...

I am doubting it seriously if I would stand by him. You never know until you are in a certain situation, but if this grown ass man committed a crime then he deserves what he gets most of the time. I don't think I could support that.

lisa q. said...

Ugh...no frickin' way. My ex got thrown in jail for a DUI. His boss called me to tell. I told him if he wanted the loser to come to work, he'd have to be the one to bail his dumb ass out. Sounds harsh maybe but it was dude's 4th one. He'd already been given his chances.

Dr. Pepper said...

Well, if he committed a crime and was put in jail, then justice was served. And, I could not be with someone who committed a crime like robbery, drugs, theft or anything of the like. So no, I would not stand by him.

Freckle Face Girl said...

Frankly, if he was guilty...I'd let him rot.

soumynona said...

Seriously, if you catch me doing stupid ish, leave my arse behind bc obviously I want someone to tap that arse while Im in jail

laughingattheslut said...

It would be different if she just knew that he didn't do it.

Or, if it were a different crime where the person going to jail maybe has the moral high ground. Like if you knew someone was a sex offender and you thought a kid was in danger and you beat up the sex offender cause you thought he was about to do something. If you suspect something is going on, you should just call the police first, but at least I could understand that.

:Fashion Frenzy: said...

Your blogs are just fabulous! Great read!!!

Daysha Writes said...

Couldn't do it especially if it was on some petty stuff.

Salesdiva said...

Not gonna happen.

SSC~ The Domestic Diva said...

I feel bad for your friend. However it reminds me of something we just did in my class. A hypothetical question and what we would do.

I would take your stance as well.

charmcitygirl said...

If my man chose to commit a crime for whatever reason then my opinion would be that it was his choice that damaged the relationship and I would feel no obligation to stand by him.

Torrance Stephens bka All-Mi-T said...

he has a lot of integrity

Ann(ie) said...

nope. never ever never. Especially if it were petty and senseless. Thankfully I'm marred to a saintly soccer dad type now, but my first hubby.....holy god....I shudder to think what he's up to now. He very well could be that dude's cell mate.
=/

shorty said...

I have an acquaintance who's husband is in jail, he's been on and off for the last 15 years. They have a 12 year old daughter together. When he is in jail, she dates other men. When he comes out they live as a family, the hubby and kid and her.

To each his own. In the past I might have stayed, but now I see it as I would be the one serving the sentence as well for a crime I didn't commit.

Personally, I would need the male interaction. :)

minijonb said...

tough question. i think the short answer is "no" if there is guilt and no remorse, but other things could change that.

Cat said...

That is called above and beyond. I'm sorry, the longer she waits the crazier I think this woman is. He's no political prisoner. They weren't married, no kids and he wasn't set up. Is it that she'll feel guilty for leaving him? It's not like he's in a coma.

Trixie said...

Nope, I couldn't do it! Totally agree with you!