Wednesday, July 15, 2009

My Personal PSA...of sorts

Hello all. I have a bit of a public service announcement to make so to speak. We all know that people are made of different shapes and sizes. That’s what makes us unique. Embrace the uniqueness that is you and be the best you can be.

With that said, I totally understand that some folks feel that a little enhancement here and there would make a world of difference to them. Possibly boost their self esteem. I’m all for that. God knows if and when I need a little something something done you best believe I’ll have my little ass on the operating table faster then you can say “Knock Me out!” I’ve said this before so it’s no secret.

My wonderful people, if you decide to go with the non surgical route of enhancement make sure you secure your shit before you hit the streets. I don’t want to be hanging out with my friends and look over and see you with half your fake booty enhancer (in Taupe) spilling out of your pants or see one boob by your knees and the other boob sitting on your throat. It’s not a cute look and I’d hate to see the embarrassed look on your face when I yell, “Girly, fix that lopsided boob of yours!” across a crowded room. I’m just saying.


22 People saying stuff:

The Dish said...

Sometimes I am glad that I am not very vain. But I would like to think that I would help a friend out if they were in the process of looking ridiculous.

shorty said...

Did you say this?

You could just be like my best friend and never wear a bra....I should correct that. Since she hit 30 she now thinks she needs one for special occasions. Geez.

I do tell her she needs one. It's not that she's large, it's that she's saggy.

I hear ya. That's like boys and sweatpants going commando. Really. I don't need or want to see that. Surprise me. Really.

Hit 40 said...

So a fake fabric boob was hanging out? Or a fake piece of ass???

I would so go tell them that they fake boob was awol

Hit 40 said...

Is my grammar mistake as bad as the boob hanging out?

Adrianne said...

Seriously do they have mirrors, are they blind, do they have friends? I don’t understand people. Rule of thumb, if one boob is having a race to hit your ankle first, fix the S**T!

Queen-Size funny bone said...

In my day you only had to worry about the tissue or the socks hanging out.

Cerebrally_Orgasmic said...

This post is hysterical..Thank u!!

Tonya said...

you are such a good friend!

Karen said...

I love it! I will admit that sometimes use minimizers and certain types of spanx to contain some areas and boost up others. It have never had anything slip out, but I have had some explaining to do when sharing private time with a man. Mortifying.

Liam said...

Well this makes me glad i don't have boobs.

Jeni said...

Thanks! I really needed the nice little giggle this post gave me tonight. There are times when I think I'd like to have surgery to fix my "image" such as it is, but then I remember how I felt after having had three major surgeries plus scads of tests, some of which required being under anesthesia and I think I'll contend with my body, such as it is, with no corrections to be done to it after all.

Noelle said...

Jeesh - that's the last time I go jogging! ;-)

lisaq said...

Just started planning my own enhancement surgery. It's time I do something for me. I'm very excited about it now that I've made the decision to do it. That said, you're right. If you're not going to enhance surgically, please be careful. There are just things we don't need to see!

L said...

Well that sounds like an interesting sight.

Renaissance Woman said...

LOL...I would love to see such a situation...so funny!

f.B said...

crazy that i just wrote about height today...

but yeah: if you want to add stuff, make sure it stays on your body right.

*Tanyetta* said...

HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

Nelia said...

Alright. I'll take it under advisement.

Anonymous said...

Surprisingly I have seen this firsthand. Can you imagine how embarassed I was having to tell ol' girl that her fake boob had runeth over? Whatever happened to just some tissue or socks... now there are plastic add-on boobs and booties for mishap heaven.

imbeingheldhostage said...

(looking down quickly to do a booty/boob check) ok.

laughing said...

To quote an ex-boyfriend

"If you want to impress people, you at least need to put the potato on the other side of your pants."

Terri said...

hehehe too funny