Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Ask Tee

You know what day it is! It's Wednesday so we have another installment of Ask Tee. Feel free to give your insight and thoughts on the readers question or my advice.

Letter #1

Dear Tee,

I have been a relationship with my this guy for nine months. Everything was going well until he checked his voice mail and I overheard a message that a young lady left on his phone. I really do love this guy but I don't want to be hurt if he is cheating on me. What should I do? Should I let it go or hear what he has to say?

Confused in Mississippi

My Answer:

Dear Confused in Mississippi,

Overhearing a message from someone we view as a potential rival for our loved ones affection can definitely throw us for a loop. It makes us jealous and insecure.

With that said, we have to work extra hard to not overreact in these situations. In your letter you never mentioned the particulars of the message. Was it flirtatious? Was she thanking him for a wonderful evening? Without knowing the content of the message I can't go any further then to say talk to him. Ask your man what the call was about. As his woman you have a right to know. Ask him straight out if he is seeing someone else. Watch his actions and mannerisms here instead of his words. That will tell you everything you will need to know.

Let your instincts drive you here. Our female intuitions are never wrong so listen to them.

Good luck!

Letter #2
Dear Tee,

My man and I have been together for 3 years. We have a great sex life but lately he's been getting kinkier then usual. He's been asking to tie me up during sex and he wants a little rear end action if you know what I mean.

I don't know if I should or not. What should I think about this?

Signed Scared of the Freak

My Answer:

Dear Scared of the Freak,

Girl are you crazy!! Your man just wants to add a little spice to the relationship so you better get on board or else someone else will be glad to fulfill his fantasies.

Now, although I definitely think you should be open to new things I don't think you should do something you feel fundamentally goes against your principals and moral upbringing. Think
about it, discuss with your man and happy exploring!!

If you have a situation you need advice on, just click the graphic on the sidebar or go to

12 People saying stuff:

Moooooog35 said...

Dear Tee,

My girlfriend is eavesdropping on my voice mail messages.

She a bitch or what?

Sandi McBride said...

My recommendation is for Confused to get the name and number of the girl on her man's voicemail and send it to the Freak, cause sorry, but scared of the freak probably has reason to be...sounds like Ted Bundy play to me...Miss Scared should get out of that relationship but fast! Okay, the cop in me is sending off warning bells to the point that I can't even be humorous about this I'm gonna just hope this is a made up problem...okay?

Senorita said...

For the first letter, that girl didn't give us any details on that voicemail. She should've been more specific.

As for the second woman, we all have our boundaries. I know that I would be willing to be on board for almost anything for my man..... except for back door action.

Personally, because I am so against it, if a man would threaten to leave me (hypothetical situation) for not doing it, I would let him because I hate it so much.

We all have to compromise, and if he is the type of man will cheat on her just because she won't do one act, then she didn't marry a good man.

There should be compromise if there is a disagreement. There are ways to work around things. We can't always get what we want all the time in a marriage. But a good relationship lies where two people can openly communicate and work around hurdles like this.

Liam said...

I always like to read these Dear Tee letters.

Most of the time I find the answers so obvious I am surprised that anyone has to ask the question. Then I stop and think for a minute and realize we all need reassurance.

Noelle said...

For confused, unless there's some details left out, it basically comes down to the question 'do you trust your man'? If so, unless anything else has happened, I wouldn't worry about it. It could be a sister, a cousin or a friend. Even if it is an ex-girlfriend - she called him, not the other way around. And if you don't trust him? Then you've got bigger problems than a girl leaving a message on his answering machine. You have to look very hard at why, and whether you want to stay in a relationship with a man you don't trust.

Hit 40 said...

Your advice column is a riot!! Dear Abby has nothing on you!!

B said...

lol @ the first comment here.

I think it all depends on the message. She doesn't say what the message says or mentions. Was it a random or a coworker/friend? I think people tend to work themselves up over certain things.

As far as #2, she should be enjoying things too and if she isn't comfortable with certain kinks, no one is going to have a good time.

I like this little advice column!

JStar said...

Yea, confused shoulda addressed the voicemail the second she heard it. If he is her man then she has the right to know. It may have been harmless, or someone that just showed up after years. Dont assume, ask...

And for scared, she needs to stop being scared or someone else will take care of her man. Who knows, she might like it if she lets go and explores :)

I love your advice Tee :)

Amber said...

The world has surely come to an end when YOU are dolling out advice. :-)

laughingattheslut said...

I think most everyone else here has the first letter covered. Without knowing more about the message it is hard to give advice. We don't even know if she's been in this nine month relationship with someone who agreed to be exclusive.

As for the second letter, some people are assuming that she is married to this man, and we have no way of knowing that. This could be someone she should have dumped two years ago. And it is terrible that about half the people advised her that she should go ahead and do something that she's already said she didn't want to do, and that could physically hurt her.

As for him going to get it somewhere else if she doesn't do it, I would wonder if he isn't already getting it somewhere else and she should get away from him anyway. Where is this coming from after three years of great sex? Why complain that it isn't good enough now? Something is wrong here.

Tee aka The Diva's Thoughts said...

Very funny Amber!! lol

Seven said...

I approve of your messages/replies....LOL! How goes it?