Friday, July 23, 2010

The Date From Hell...Again!

OK. So in talking to a coworker yesterday it prompted a memory of a date I had several months ago that I forgot to you all about. That in itself is unusual as I tell you guys everything. I think I just blocked it out as a survival mechanism.

It all started one fateful Saturday afternoon in the grocery store. I was perusing the frozen dinner section as that is all I ever have in my house since you all know I do not cook. Remember this little gem? Yeah.

So I was minding my own business when this guy walks up to me and "accidentally" bumps my cart. He apologizes and all and I was like "No problem, it's cool." He then makes small flirtatious conversation then hit me with the big question, "You want to hang out sometime?" I checked my mental date book and realized it had cobwebs so I said yes and gave him my number. He called the next day and asked to go to dinner on Monday evening. I agreed and the deed was done. I had a date for Monday evening. I wasn't excited or nervous or anything. I was just....just... blah. I've been on way too many dates that have gone nowhere to get all wigged out on this.

Monday comes and I meet him at the appointed restaurant. He leans in for a hug and I got a whiff of the most horrific cologne known to man. Funny. He wasn't wearing that when I first met him. I held my nose and sat down at our table.

We made small talk, all very superficial when he jumps up and says very loudly, "I'll be right back, I have to go take a leak." The people at the table across from us turned their heads toward us, glanced at me then turned away. Ooookkkaaaayyyy.

He returns to the table, the food arrives and he grabs the fork as if it was a miniature shovel and begins shoveling the food into his mouth. Dude, spend time in prison much? He then tries to hold a conversation with said food in his mouth visible for all creation to see.

Yeah, he'll score another date. With gems like him, why am I still single?


9 People saying stuff:

Moooooog35 said...

It's like a plethora of dating tips!!

Charles (Illumistrations) said...

Really though?? Who stands up and yells "I gotta take a leak"? Wow...

Ms Beauty Soul said...

oooh sounds like a flipping nightmare! Sorry to hear about that. Look it could have been worse... He could have gone to the loo but then headed for an exit and left you with a bill and lookin like a damn fool! LOL

Senorita said...

OMG, that is AWFUL ! I feel your pain, I am too embarrased to talk about my nightmare dates.

The mad woman behind the blog said...

Your nightmares have way better sound effects than mine!

I remember being lectured about religion on a first date with a man who had lied about his height (met on craigslist). I kept thinking, wow, this is way too heavy for a Friday night/first date. But at least he didn't smell bad. heh.

Ranger Tom said...

You should read about my latest dating disaster...

;)

MysTery said...

Lol wow.

Red Shoes said...

LMAO @ "take a leak..."

Men... you have to love them...

Sheesh...

~shoes~

FRANK LOVE said...

“Thank God for Affairs”

Let’s talk about “old-fashioned values.” My understanding of these “values” include couples remaining together until death-do-us–part. One of the difficulties that follow the “’til-death-do-us–part” philosophy is that by definition, it places commitment above “happiness” as a definite aim or mandate of the relationship. I am not saying that individuals who pledge permanent commitment do not also plan or want to be happy. However, under this definition of a successful marriage, there could be a litany of behaviors that a member of the union participates in that irritates or even endangers their partner’s well being. Yet, as long as they remain married, and none of the other vows are violated, they are technically fulfilling their charge to one another. Follow @ http://franklove.net/2010/08/30/%E2%80%9Cthank-god-for-affairs%E2%80%9D/