Thursday, August 2, 2007

I'm wondering about me

I am sitting here waiting for my students to arrive and I begin contemplating my past relationships. Things with Mr. Construction are going very well. We seem to be connecting and I am grateful for that. I am not getting my hopes up though because I have had these "false starts" too many times. For now, I'm just going to enjoy the ride where ever it takes me.

Upon reflecting on past romances, I try to figure out my part in the demise. Was I too accommodating? Was I too easy going? Was I just a convenience? Was I not a challenge?

My ex husband's close friend once told me that I was too lenient with my ex husband. Go figure. I have the mind set that we are all adults. I am not your mother so there is no need for me to monitor your every comings and goings. I trust you until you give me reason to not. Silly me.

I've always tried to be a very easy going person as to not cause conflict. No man wants a woman that fusses and argues all the time right? I want my man to come home to a calm, happy home. Your home should be your sanctuary from the big bad mean world.

Then I start to look at some of my friends relationships and wonder to myself 'Why are they still together?' Often times the woman in those cases are complete shrews. Constantly shrieking and barking orders to her man. But the funny thing is, HE STAYS! The guy is usually completely in love with her. I just don't get this.

I figured, 'forget all this'...I'm just going to be myself and the right man will appreiciate my easy going, lenient demeanor.

10 People saying stuff:

DurtyMo said...

OHMIGOD! Me and my homegirls sit around and talk about this same subject OFTEN! We're like ok, we're nice goodhearted good natured women but we're the ones that get shitted on! But the women that are hardcore bytches get the men who wanna buy them stuff, pay their bills, claim their kids blah blah blah. I will never understand that crap no matter how hard I try! My girlfriend just got dumped by a dude that went back to his ex. (his ex is married to someone else by the way and was married when he dated her for 3 years. WHAT?) Anyway! I can't and I won't!

Jenny! said...

It's all about sex!

Bklyn Diva said...

*high five* just be you diva.. when the right one comes along.. they will be there.. I used to think the same thing and constantly beat myself up.. and you know what.. I said F*CK IT

Know your worth and dont' stand for anything less.. I know I wont!

dc_speaks said...

one word...AMEN!!

laughingattheslut said...

Well, I have a story (which is too long to totally write on someone else's blog) about a friend of mine whose wife died, and he married someone else within a year. And I thought that was going to be totally weird and I worried about his daughter getting a new stepmom so soon. So then I met the new wife and like the second or third time I was with the new family, she was like all over him about something he forgot to do and "you have to to this" and "don't forget to do that". And he's like "yes, dear" and "I know I just forgot" and "okay I'll get to it."

And I was just so happy that he found someone who fit right in. She was just perfect for them.

Some guys need that, and he realized he was one of those guys.

CarmenSinCity said...

I know girl!!!!!!!!! Well, I've been the bitch before and I've been the one that was walked all over too. I really don't know what it is. Maybe they fall in love with the bitches kind of like we chase the bad boys???

The nice ones always come out last?????

Erica AP said...

That's what I say too to those guys... If I wanted to be a Mom I would have a kid.

lisa q. said...

yes girl! be the fabulous you that you are! :P

KIKI said...

At least I'm not the only one who doesn't get it (SMH)!

CapCity said...

i'll drink to that!