Sunday, October 12, 2008

Being A Woman Is An Adventure

Being a woman in today's society is an absolute adventure. I am not sure that men really fully understand or appreciate what it means to be a woman today. Let me shed some light on it for you.

We women experience the joys of having our feet feel as though they are going to combust at any moment because the heels we are wearing are squishing our toes together into one big toe.

Two to three times a month we subject ourselves to being scorched by blow dryers, burned and bruised by a curling iron slipping from the hands of our capable stylists and grazing our foreheads or neck that we have to put make up on to hide for about a week. Not to mention the numerous dye jobs and perms/relaxers we endure.

We can not forget the midlife pooch, the stretch marks and the stiffening joints. The iron deficiency that makes us want to fall out from exhaustion that we expereince every month. After gravity has set in and our bodies go to pot we must take on the most desirable task of finding a girdle that won't cut off our circulation so we can at least breath without sounding like a freight train.

With the physical pain aside, there is the second full time job of chef, homework monitor, soccer/little league/play date chauffeurs, field trip/school lunch/the must have jeans financiers, accounts payable clerk, dog walker and feeder and doctor appointment schedulers.

Then there is the occasional girlfriend in crisis that require us to assist her with stalking, egging the front door and keying the car of her ex boyfriend at 2:30 am on a work night who just got caught cheating on her with her best friend.

Oh yeah, being a woman is definitely an adventure but you know what, I wouldn't have it any other way.


29 People saying stuff:

Moe Wanchuk said...

You think you have it tough?????

Just think how my wife feels. She actually has to have S*x with me. Just to be nice, I don't let it last too long.

Torrance Stephens - All-Mi-T said...

yep, thats why yawl are the queens u all are

Suze said...

I'm going to be reminded how lovely it is to be a woman when I go for my annual gyno exam next month. Love being a woman....love being a woman.

SSC~ The Domestic Diva said...

Okay where were you girlfriend when I needed to egg a car? You are correct we need to maintain ourselves for every occasion.

Oh but you forgot one thing, the boobie compressor. Yes those are always delightful to be big busted and have your D's squeezed to a flattened A! Trust me I know, what we do to survive and look good. Men will never know!

Oh and Suze just bring a bottle a wine in, it helps kill two birds with one stone!!! :)

Jeni said...

Here's another one you omitted -those damned hot flashes that NEVER, EVER show up when it is actually chilly and you could use a bit of warmth! I cringed at the thought of a girdle even though, if I could find one in my size, it probably would help me considerably but just the thought -YUCK!
Lots of chuckles at the truths you exposed here for sure and I agree totally with your conclusion!

Jeni said...

Here's another one you omitted -those damned hot flashes that NEVER, EVER show up when it is actually chilly and you could use a bit of warmth! I cringed at the thought of a girdle even though, if I could find one in my size, it probably would help me considerably but just the thought -YUCK!
Lots of chuckles at the truths you exposed here for sure and I agree totally with your conclusion!

lisaq said...

Ugh! I'm exhausted just reading all we do and go through. If I only I could take a nap instead of go to work, run errands, and then come home and do some more work. All in the pouring rain.

Terri said...

good one!!!

abbagirl74 said...

Amen to that sista!

B said...

Don't forget about all the plucking and waxing and tweezing!

Joe said...

On the other hand, being a guy pretty much rocks.

CarmenSinCity said...

Nice post! Being a woman is so very difficult! But, I love it :)

Trixie said...

With you there babe!!!

Sandi McBride said...

Being a woman is an adventure? It's pure tee hell! Don't forget the raging hot flashes that can be considered temporary insanity when you kill your mate...how emotional you get when the young that left home come back...and bring friends...and don't call to let you know...again, temporary insanity...
you make me laugh Tee!
hugs
Sandi

LovelyBella73 said...

I can relate so much to this post!! But, you know I wouldn't change not one thing.

B-More BAP said...

...Absolutely no other way!

charmcitygirl said...

How do you always write what I feel?

I am with you, I wouldn't have it any other way.

Glaziersgirl said...

Couldn't have said it better myself. Very eloquent.

The Excuse Eliminator said...

Great Post, Tee! Even with all that I still wouldn't want to be a man. I can't imagine having a body part that does what it wants when it wants. Then again, peeing standing up must have it's advantages because you NEVER see a long line to get in the men's room!

Slick said...

PPffftttt!

We men have to learn football stats and baseball....

See, that's mental shit right there.

MP said...

I wouldnt be a man for all the money in the world!

imbeingheldhostage said...

Ooh, can I have your number? Because MY girlfriends wouldn't help me stalk :-(

Did you mention the hormone changes that we're completely at the mercy of and then get ridiculed because of? That's MY favourite part of being female.

Craze said...

With a burn mark on my forehead from the curling iron I can also say I wouldn't want it any other way.

j said...

Just once I'd like to walk around with danglies between my legs then try to sit. Ok, I'm a liar.

magnoliapeach said...

An adventure indeed.....

Ms.Honey said...

LOL

I was like what is she about to talk about and when you mentioned the toes squishing and combusting while we are trying to look fly walking down the street all I could do was say AMEN LOL

Days like These! said...

yes! a true adventure ;)

don't forget about slashing tires too! LOL

catscratch said...

10 points for you for being so dead on with that description.
Perfection in a post!

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