Wednesday, October 8, 2008

On The Dating Scene Again

OK, so since The Analyst and I split I've just been relaxing. Not dating at all. Figured I'd wait until I got back home, life settled down a little.

Well Friday night my girl Sher and I went out for drinks and dinner at this local restaurant that featured a live jazz band so we knew it would be lively that night. I was looking forward to the evening because it had been a long while since she and I hung out.

Well during the course of the evening I met 3 guys. Neither of them are really going to make the cut but it was a fun evening nonetheless.

Well after a few conversations with a couple of these guys we decided to meet up this evening. So I met with guy number 1 at 7:00pm. This was already going to be a short date because he had to work later that evening and needed to get home and sleep before his shift.

My problem with guy #1; he works 2 jobs, he lives with a friend, he can't afford his own place so that is why he's been living with his friend for 2 years. Uuummmmmm, no! To add to the mix, he has a 10 year old son that requires alot of his time. Yeah, OK.

I left him at 7:30pm with the excuse I had to pick up my little nieces for my brother because he had to work late.

I met Guy number 2 at 8:00pm. The conversation was great. We debated and had a really great time.

My problem with Guy #2; he smokes and I do not date smokers. YUCK! He ordered his drink before me when the server came over to take our order. He saw several friends at the restaurant but never bothered to introduce me to them let alone acknowledge my existence. He has a 7 year old son whom he has no qualms with leaving in the next several months to move 3300 miles across the country to LA. I told him he was going to miss out on alot and asked him how he was going to field the really hard questions his son would surely have for him when he got older like "why did you leave me?". His response, "Sometimes you just have to live your own life. His mother and I don't get along." I told him that he should not let that get in his way of being there for his son and he said he just had to do his own thing.

He's not selfish at all is he? Hmmmmm. Excuse me but I was under the impression that when you have children your life is on hold. They become your priority.

Hmmmm... 2 dates in one night and neither guy makes the cut.

The third guy, I will not even call. He needs dental work and I can't deal with that.

Am I being too picky?


32 People saying stuff:

Jeni said...

I would call your actions being realistic -not picky. Not picky at all! Why even get the least bit involved with someone when you already know that person has traits that definitely don't fit your life style, your thoughts, routine, etc.? Steer clear now and make for a lot smoother passage along the way then.

Queen-Size funny bone said...

Pretty slim pickins as they say.

laughingattheslut said...

I do not want children. And at this late date, I think that I am unlikely to have any. But the point of dating is to find the one, and when you find the one you might end up getting pregnant and having a child even if that wasn't really what you planned. So I would need a guy who doesn't really want or plan to have children either, but I would need someone who would try to be a good parent if "accidents" should happen. So if you already see that someone isn't a good parent and just doesn't feel the same way about children as you do, don't waste your time with him. That's too important to overlook.

j said...

Picky is not calling someone back because you don't like the color of the soles of his shoes. Not calling back a total ass like guy #2 is required. What a dickhole. No wonder the ex doesn't get along with him... he's a selfish prick. Poor kid. Probably better off.

Melissa said...

You are not being picky, you're being realistic. I know the pool of men out there seems to be slim to none, (at least for me) but for the time being, I'm not even considering dating any man.

Good luck to you!

lisaq said...

Picky? Oh hell no girl! You know what you want and what you need. Not a damn thing wrong with giving a pass to those who don't fit.

B said...

Hey, you put yourself out there which is a good start!

I don't think you're being too picky at all. I mean, if a guy thinks like that about his kid, how's he going to treat the woman in his life?

shorty said...

ABSOLUTELY NOT!!

I love the explanation for # 3. Teeth are the first thing that matter, first of all, they all need to be there and they can't be totally green and jacked up. This rule can only be bent a slight bit.

Dude #2 is a loser. Selfish isn't even scratching the surface.

#1 sounds like the best of the bunch, but still not cream of the crop. Atleast he works, and cares about his son. He's trying...maybe he likes to hang out with the friend because he doesn't want to live alone? Maybe he's just really lonely or insecure, that's why he works so much to keep busy. You might want to get to know this guy a bit more? Maybe he's loaded and doesn't want you to know that for fear you are a money hungry woman!

From the outside looking in he might be thinking that you are whacked for living in a hotel for months, even though we all know the circumstances, he might think you actually like living like that.

Anyway, good luck. I hate dating, that's why I don't do it. I either have one/two nights stands or I'm in it for the long haul.

When do I get an invite for cocktails? I'm only 2.5 hours away. I'm sure I could get a room where you are staying : )

Joe said...

Nah. There's no reason to settle and the things that put you off on the first date would likely become even more annoying later.

And besides, you seem pretty perceptive.

But three numbers in a night? Impressive.

Lys said...

You have every right to be picky, Diva! Just enjoy having fun :)

maryann said...

are you picky? yes. but i'd say that's not a bad thing. no kids? i feel you. selfish ass-hat #2? he deserves to be dropped. (besides, he's leaving for cali.) bad teeth? i hear ya.

however, on #1, i'd say you're a little too dismissive. he works 2 jobs and lives with a friend? that's better than a homeboy who's deep in debt and barely works one job. and child support prolly contributes to the 2-job situation. also, spending lots of time with his kid is better than dude who's ready to go clear across the country.

like i said before, i understand the no-kids rule. but #1 still doesn't seem like a bad catch.

Terri said...

nope not picky - whether or not YOU want to have kids, how a man treats his own kids will speak VOLUMES. And nasty teeth - girl don't even think twice about it! You did fine.

Fabulously Broke said...

Not picky. They're losers.

imbeingheldhostage said...

NO. It's good that you're not settling, because the ideal (maybe that's an extreme word)-- ok, closest to ideal guy will come along. DON'T settle. The smoking thing you could maybe get past with gum and air freshner, but how do you cover up selfishness?

Freckle Face Girl said...

No - I say run fast!

dmarks said...

Let me see: Guy #1 was Dupree from "You, Me, and Dupree". Shorty did have a point: at least he is doubly-employed.

#2? He's a dad, but he wants to leave his son, saying "Sometimes you just have to live your own life". That's something sons do when they grow up and leave their dads, not something dads do to their young sons!

Was the third guy British?

Shai said...

NO. You are not picky.

Moe Wanchuk said...

#2 should be BEAT

There's NEVER a reason to leave a child behind. EVER!

KT said...

lmao. nope. i think you're awesome.

Sandi McBride said...

As long as you don't start playing Spin the Bottle I won't worry about your dating habits, Tee...but if your next post is all about how you and your girl Sher went to a spin the bottle party I'm gonna have at say something....
hugs to you...
Sandi

TravelDiva said...

LMAO! No you are not being picky, you aren't settling.

#1 - Admirable that he works two jobs, but he doesn't have a place of his own and he's got a lot of baggage.

#2 - LOSER--live your life? Not caring enough about his child to be in proximity to him during pivotal years is a sign of selfishness. So what if you've got baby mama drama--that's your son! Ordering the drink before you?-a little chivalry on a first date would be nice.

#3 - HAA!

Torrance Stephens - All-Mi-T said...

i see u are a regular mac momma

have a great weekend folk

Cat said...

The first guy didn't seem tooo bad, he had potential to grow. The second dude- selfish with a capital S, run fast, run very fast. Whoever said dating was fun is a man!

CarmenSinCity said...

I don't think you are being too picky - we have to be careful and picky. And honestly, I think we are getting too old to mess around with losers that we know for a fact we don't want to marry. Ya know? I haven't been dating at all lately either and I know I'm probably being picky, but I don't care. I'm not wasting my time anymore.

CarmenSinCity said...

I don't think you are being too picky - we have to be careful and picky. And honestly, I think we are getting too old to mess around with losers that we know for a fact we don't want to marry. Ya know? I haven't been dating at all lately either and I know I'm probably being picky, but I don't care. I'm not wasting my time anymore.

nikki said...

i think u SHOULD be picky! too many idiots out here. the odds are you were gonna have to have ten dudes in order to find one worth dating, so your pool was too small.

too bad about the smoker, though. good conversation is important.

lmso@'dude with dental issues'. they don't realize they'll get cut immediately for that! maybe he's got a big penis to negate the bad teeth...

Ann(ie) said...

You are NOT being too picky, girl. You are being HELLA SMART. YOu're paying attn to the red flags. And they WILL drive you apeshit later if you don't. SO keep up the good work!

david mcmahon said...

No, not at all. You will find the right person, though.

Trixie said...

You can never be too picky my dear! 3 guys in one night huh? Sounds like you would fit in one of my nights out! lol

Eb the Celeb said...

Well alright missy... 2 dates in one night... go girl do it do it

now with first dude, how do you have 2 jobs and still cant afford to have your own place... something is not right... he shouldn't even put himself in places to date... why was he even out that not if he has 2 jobs and a son and is living with a friend... if he saved some of that going out money maybe he wouldnt have to

on to second dude, everyone has their preferences and what they can deal with so I dig you on the smoking thing... and no I dont think your too picky...

but I am with him on the living his life part. If he is going to have a better life in LA he should most definitely moved, but he shouldnt be moving because him and his baby moms dont agree. He will still get visitation on holidays... my little brother and mom dont live in the same state, he comes a month out of the summer and they split holidays... so moving is not an excuse not to see or be responsible for his child.

but if he's moving no point in getting to know him anyway

MP said...

if you arent being picky you will probably just end up settling right? I dont think that any of your qualms are unreasonable.

MysTery said...

Lol!

I'm mad cause you said the first has a son that will take up his time and then complained about the other guy not having a problem leaving his son. Lol! I'm just saying.

Have a good one!