Thursday, August 20, 2009

Responsibility or Respect?

Posted by Diva's Thoughts at 9:00 AM

I was listening to a nationally syndicated radio personality this afternoon and the subject of cheating came up on his show.

There was a caller that said that she is not responsible for another person's relationship or marriage. I was completely stunned. There were other callers that cosigned this woman's sentiment.

It dawned on me that she used that line as an excuse to justify sleeping with married men and that enraged me. You say you are not responsible for another person's relationship or marriage but what about respecting it.

I supposed that respecting someones marriage or relationship is old fashioned.

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21 People saying stuff:

B said...

It sounds like she doesn't respect herself either, IMO anyway. I just don't see the point in sleeping with a married man or woman. There are plenty of single people out there to pick from!

August 20, 2009 at 10:08 AM
Moooooog35 said...

did she happen to leave her phone number...?

August 20, 2009 at 10:12 AM
Unknown said...

I think that rationalization sucks! I do feel that there are so many people with that mind frame, or attitude or whatever and you do have to protect your own marriage with all your might. Some people just really suck!

August 20, 2009 at 10:47 AM
Karen said...

As a single woman, I won't date a married or involved guy because I respect my self too much. I deserve to be the only woman in a guy's life.

I don't in anyway feel responsible for the other person's relationship. I did not make a commitment to the other woman and I am not responsible for her man's infidelity. So I guess, I can see the caller's point. But I don't get involved with married men in any case.

August 20, 2009 at 11:11 AM
The Dish said...

I have to agree with B and Karen. Anybody that gets in a relationship with a person who is married knows they are going to play 2nd fiddle and get the emotional leftovers. No self respect!

August 20, 2009 at 12:32 PM
★Starrla said...

You don't have to be responsible for someone else's relationship. That's not your call. Yet the person CAN have enough damn sense to know right from wrong. Sleeping with married men or any man in a relationship is just dead wrong. Point blank period. This can be part of the reasons why marriages are failing and relationships aren't working. There is no respect in the situation. Women who are willing to allow themselves to get into situations like that can only blame themselves when things NEVER work out favorably. That's so damn dumb!

August 20, 2009 at 12:40 PM
Queen-Size funny bone said...

seems like there is no respect on either side of that affair.

August 20, 2009 at 2:09 PM
Anonymous said...

It truly depends on the culprit. If that person does not tell you that they are married or in a relationship and you involve yourself with them, then it is not your responsibility but you should get out of the situation if you find out. However if the culprit alerts you to the fact that they are married or in a relationship, then you have to RESPECT that relationship so that you do not become RESPONSIBLE for being a willful homewrecker.

August 20, 2009 at 3:19 PM
Liam said...

My girlfriend loves Meryl Streep so we have seen all her movies.

Robert Redford's Character is sleeping with Meryl Streeps Character who is married.

There is a great line in that movie when the husband of Meryl Streep's who has been sleeping around on her all through their marriage confronts Robert Redford.

He says to Robert Redford, "I don't mind that you're sleeping with my wife but you could have asked permission."

Robert redford replies, " I did. I asked her!"

In other words it is the responsibility of the couple to be faithful to each other not everybody else's.

Those are my feelings too.

August 20, 2009 at 4:26 PM
Hit 40 said...

Alright...

I did not post this on my blog because my friend might read it. But, she married a person who was already married. She was the other woman. Well...

the same shit happened to her!! How they treat their current spouse is how they will treat you!!!

August 20, 2009 at 10:44 PM
Tonya said...

I think people think nowadays that respect for anyone or anything is old fashion. At least that is the way it seems. Though I will fight tooth and nail for my children to grow up and be respectful.

August 20, 2009 at 11:06 PM
Senorita said...

I don't like married men, and don't even believe in befriending them unless I am friends with the wife first and he's my friend by default.

You know that woman was just rationalizing her actions. She doesn't believe she's worthy to have a man fully devoted to her.


On the other hand, the woman caller is correct. She is not responsible for another person's marraige. The husband has a duty to keep it in his pants. Only the husband has the duty to his wife and kids, not she.

I am tired of seeing women go after the other woman and blaming it all on her when she should be dealing with her husband first. After all, no one forced him to cheat. Women are definitely harder on each other.

August 20, 2009 at 11:12 PM
Just telling it like it is said...

Nahh...there will always be bad apples and they usually don't fall far from the tree...

August 20, 2009 at 11:56 PM
lisaq said...

I agree. It's not her responsibility, but she should certainly have respect both for herself and for the marriage. She obviously has neither.

August 21, 2009 at 7:10 AM
Noelle said...

That woman has a very narrow "it's all about me" attitude. She should date the married man, and when his wife finds out, she should divorce him, take everything she can, and let that woman have the little cockroach - it sounds like the two of them have a lot in common.

August 21, 2009 at 7:56 AM
Karyn Beach said...

I have a friend who uses that same rationalization when she dates married men. She likes to say, "He came on to me." I think that's bull. She got mad because I asked "Ift he homeless drunk at the gas station came on to you would you screw him too?"

It is the responsibility of the two people who took the vows to honor and respect each other. However, out of respect for myself and the concept of marriage, I would not get involved with a married man. Like Hit 40 said, what goes around comes around.

My friend has said that these wives aren't taking care of their husbands and if they were, she wouldn't be in the picture. Maybe that's true maybe it isn't. How can you ever know if he's telling the truth. He's most likely lying to the wife to be with her (the other woman), so what makes the other woman think that he's not lying to her?

August 21, 2009 at 2:47 PM
Queen of the Mayhem said...

That kind of thinking symbolizes ALL of what is wrong with some people's mentalities!

How convenient to be able to brush off any impropriety with such a statement!

We should all have it so easy.

Pathetic.

August 23, 2009 at 10:19 AM
Unknown said...

AMEN. You should have called in to give them a piece of your mind!

August 23, 2009 at 11:24 AM
Debbie said...

I so agree with you. But I think this type of thought as the caller had is so prevalent in our society about so many things. We just don't take responsibility for our actions anymore.

August 23, 2009 at 4:31 PM
The Ambiguous Blob said...

I can't honestly say I would never sleep with a married man. Though I never have and don't plan on it, there are situations that you just can't predict.
What if the man of your dreams approached you. Told you he instantly fell for you. You liked him a lot. So much.
His marriage was a failure, but he was staying together for the kids. He's a family man.
What then?

August 23, 2009 at 5:51 PM
Jennifer @ Mom Spotted said...

While I would never be with a married person...well other then the hubs.

If rolls were reversed and I found out my hubs had cheated on me I wouldn't hold it against her...its not HER responsibility to respect OUR marriage its HIS. Plus, if a cheater is going to cheat...they will just find someone else.

Sad, I know.

August 24, 2009 at 6:44 PM

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