I feel like a Mack truck hit my face!!!

Hello all! I’m BACK!!! Well, here’s a little low down on what’s going on with me lately.

I had the surgery I was telling you all about. It’s funny, I didn’t know that I was ALSO receiving a Septoplasty until I got there. I saw on one of the forms that I was receiving an Endoscopic Sinus Surgery as well as a Septoplasty. My eyes widened. Now the funny part is that I am addicted to Dr. 90210 so I’ve seen them do septoplasty’s before and I thought to myself ‘I wonder why Dr. Soandso didn’t suggest I have one of those?’ Hmmmmmmm…. LOL

Anyway, the procedure was cool. I was mad nervous because I have never had a surgical procedure before so I was not sure what to expect. They escort me into the OR and immediately one of the nurse’s walked in and said to Dr. Soandso, “I guess you won’t be needing that extra long stretcher huh?” I wanted to stab her in the eye. God love her. Actually they all put me in a great mood and tried to ease my anxiety. I laid on the table and told the CRNA that I was nervous and she said, “Oh, I have something for that.” I said, “You do?” Amazed but also skeptical. She said, “Yep, as soon as I give you this you won’t feel nervous at all.” I’m thinking to myself ‘BRING IT!!!’ LOL

God bless her because as soon as she shot whatever lovely concoction she had in that syringe into my IV my head started spinning. I IMMEDITELY said “Hey, my head is spinning.” I then proceeded to laugh uncontrollably…..then….that was it! The next then I knew I was being awakened by people yelling at me, “DIVA! Wake up!” You gotta go!” Ok, so they didn’t say the “you gotta go” part but they were by my bed yelling at me and I had this mask thing on my face. I remember thinking, “It’s over?’

So as you can see the procedure was a cake walk but oh baby…the recuperating is another story. I felt an enormous amount of pressure and discomfort for the next 4 days after. The Analyst was right there by my side. He stayed with me, cooking, getting me drinks, cleaning my yucky bloody nose and gauze. He was absolutely amazing. If any of you need an attentive male nurse, I’ll pimp loan him to you for a nominal fee.

The Manager was calling or texting a great deal of the time checking on me which was great. My best bud, “The Extremist”, was amazing too. She came over one day and helped The Analyst change my gauze. Now that’s a friend. I love her!

All in all things are coming back to normal. I’m still really sore and uncomfortable in the nasal area but it’s getting better.

Oh, I almost forgot. I had my first pre-op on Wednesday. They started yanking and pulling shit out of my nose. I had no idea all that crap could fit up there. OH MY GOODNESS!! The physician assistant said to me, “Close your eyes and be still. This will be uncomfortable.” I brace myself but once she started pulling all that packing out I had NEVER felt anything like that in my life!!!! I jumped and squirmed and screamed and she yelled at me, “BE STILL!” I looked at her and said, “You have got to be kidding. YOU sit here and let me dig shit outta your nose that’s packed WAY up in there and see how still YOU will be.” She just blinked and kept yanking and pulling. I hate her.

Everything else is going great. I’ll update you all on some other stuff tomorrow.

See ya on your blogs!!!!!