Thursday, April 8, 2010

Why Do I Even Bother Leaving The House?

OK, so last weekend Crazy and Clueless and I decide to go out since we hadn't been out in ages. I was game, hell I needed a girls night out. Then they told me where they wanted to go and the shit went down hill from there.

There is this "club" and I use that term loosely, here in Baltimore where nothing but old people flock to. I will not disclose the name of said club as I don't want a bunch of senior citizens wagging their canes at me as I walk down the street.

Don't get me wrong, I love old people. Hell, I'm an "older" person and one butt cheek away from a rocking chair myself. I have been "crunchy and achy" since I hit middle age but I don't want to party with people 25 plus years older then me.

I knew this evening could not go well.

As soon as we walk into the "club" 2 guys were coming out at the same time and one of them, who obviously had one too many glasses of Manischewitz spun his head around and looked at our group and said, "Whoa! Sexy meat coming in!" Seriously grandpa?

We make it in and find a table and proceed to sit there and talk amongst ourselves. A song comes on and we get up to dance and this guy that looked like he has been collecting social security for the better part of 20 years gets in front of me and starts to move around. I THINK it was dancing but I can't be sure.

I thanked him and sat my ass down quickly. I just can't.

I noticed that there was a kitchen in the back that looked like it was open. I was starving so I decided to check it out. They only served chicken wings, french fries and hot dogs. I kid you not. So I ordered my 5 wings, took them to my table and sat my ass there for the rest of the evening.

Why do I even bother?

15 People saying stuff:

B said...

Where the hell was this?! lol You need to hit up Power Plant downtown.

The Dish said...

Good grief. That doesn't sound like my idea of a good time either.

imbeingheldhostage said...

Because you know it will make good blog fodder. Why do we do anything anymore? ;-)

Chocolate Covered Daydreams said...

I wish I could've seen all of that in action. That sounded hilarious!! At least you had some hopefully, good chicken wings.

Moooooog35 said...

Jeez...I try to dance in front of you ONCE and I get lambasted in public.

AWESOME.

Tee aka The Diva's Thoughts said...

Moooooog35, that dip you did was just too much for me to process.

Del-V said...

I feel like an old man every time I go to Fed Hill. I need to find a place somewhere between the Fed Hill crowd and the Charlestown retirement community in Catonsville.

shorty said...

You need to come down here....not that there are any "clubs", but the men collecting social security are in bed by 10.

When you coming to visit?

Red Shoes said...

Hmmm.... sounds like you hit Senior Citizens' Night at Danver's... ;o)

~shoes~

Vi said...

If you are gonna go out, chose a place more ....um....age friendly...lol!

Senorita said...

I went out last night and we went to the lounge at a 5 star hotel. For some reason it was Geriatric Ward night and all the senior citizens were bumping and grinding. Talk about awkward !

Just telling it like it is said...

When i am one butt cheek away I am going to feel up every young guy and girl and and pretend that I don't know what I am doing...Oh yeah I have been planning this for a long time...a long with big blue hair and pink eyeshadow

SSC~ The Domestic Diva said...

LOL that is too funny. I would have eaten and called it a night. Did you get an adult beverage or did did they only serve ensure? LOL

Renaissance Woman said...

Been there and done that too...but it does usually offer some really good laughs.

jules said...

"Sexy meat?" HA HA HA HA HA. Only in Baltimore. I love it. And what is it with late night places only serving chicken wings?