Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Ask Tee

Alright my lovelies, you know what day it is! It's Wednesday so we have another installment of Ask Tee. Feel free to give your insight and thoughts on the readers question or my advice.

Letter #1

Dear Tee,

I have a best friend that I have been friends with for 5 years. We've had a great friendship over the years. The problem is lately when we go out she's been dressing really provocatively and it's embarrassing. The girl dresses like a $2 ho. She's trying to find a new boyfriend but she's going about it all wrong in my opinion.

I tried to tell her that she needs to step up her dressing and not be so revealing but its to no avail. I don't want to hang out with her anymore. What should I do? Should I have that uncomfortable breakup speech with her and tell her why I'm not hanging out with her anymore or should I just fade into the woodwork and disappear?



My Answer:

Dear Embarrassed,

I think out of respect for your 5 year friendship that you should respect her enough to tell her how you feel and let her know exactly why you are not going to hang out with her anymore. You can do it in any number of ways that feel comfortable to you, face to face, email, phone call/voicemail, a letter mailed to her house, etc.

Be tactful and understanding as to not put her on the offensive if possible.

Good Luck.

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12 People saying stuff:

Moooooog35 said...

Dear Embarrassed,

I can clear this up rather quickly.

Have your friend call me.

Or send photos.

Or both.

Thanks in advance.

Menopausal New Mom said...

I think that's great advice. She is definitely going to attract the wrong kind of attention dressing like that.

JStar said...

Great advice...but I dont understand why she would be embaressed over how her friend dresses...Thats her friend and not her, why would it reflect her?? I can see the concern for the type of attention her friend will get but people only do to you what you allow...and she is a grown woman and can dress anyway she wants to...Why stop being her friend or hanging with her simply over her clothes, something material...Friendship should be about more than that...

Liam said...

I don't think I have ever met a $2. Ho this person is showing their age.

shorty said...

I lived with a girl who was a bit of a whore at the time we lived together. I didn't have any awkward talk, I just up and moved out one day while she was at work. We didn't talk for a year. Then one day she called me to apologize and understood why I left. We then had the talk about how she lived her life and how I didn't agree with it. She is now married and lives far away from me and we are still best friends, if ever in the same situation I would handle it the same way. I only have in my life what I feel comfy with. I also think that our friends are a reflection of us. Depending on how the community views "good girl", it could ruin her reputation with possible business relations in the future or possible men she may be interested in.

Good Luck

The Dish said...

Um, yeah, any attention that she will getting dressed like that is not from men that I would want to date. Just sayin'.

Just telling it like it is said...

Tee great idea and answer! Often as friends it is hard to confront the truth but remember true friendship stick with the good the bad and the ugly! Say that you will do things that are fun but not one that she feel like she has to dress scantly. Or maybe dig in deeper...she is acting out and appears unhappy. Don't leave her high and dry or else you maybe loosing someone who you could have had a life long friendship. True friends are hard to find and as I get older I am happy that my friends at times put me in check even thought It is difficult to hear that I might have done something to hurt them.

Anonymous said...

Tee, you give good advice. Where were you 10 years ago?


laughingattheslut said...

I recently heard there was a study about what men found attractive, and I can't remember, but it was either seeing women with 40% of their skin showing or having 40% of their skin covered. Anyway, it wasn't women in itty bitty swimsuits and shorts like you would think.

So the $2 ho look not only doesn't attract the kind of men she would probably want, it might not be attracting any men at all.

Senorita said...

At first, I would politely suggest she wear clothes that cover her up a little more.

After a while of her not taking my suggestions, I would just slowly fade away. Tell her I am busy or that I have too much to do.

Amber said...

I have no need to comment on your wise counsel. Simply because your readers (especially #1) say it all!

imbeingheldhostage said...

I love that you suggest the direct approach. WHY do women think that hinting at what's bothering them would ever work? Deep friendships are never forged that way.
I always laugh with Moooooog35's comments.