Friday, January 29, 2010

I Lost My Mind

One of my blogging favs, Martini's or Diaper Genies did a post that reminded me of an experience I had so of course I had to share with you all. You lucky devils you.

So, a few years ago I got the totally awesome idea of trying to get healthier and drop a few pounds so I decided to join a gym. Oh, it was great in the beginning. They enticed me with a personal trainer and my choice of fitness classes. I was in heaven. I was going to be a stunner if it was going to kill me.

After a couple months the shininess of the gym experience kinda got lost somewhere. My time with the personal trainer had run out. I got bored with running to the gym almost every night after work by myself. After 2 months my body should have been all that by then, right? I can’t motivate myself to do stuff like this. I need someone there to kick my ass into gear. I was dating The Analyst back then and he tried to motivate me but that was a bust when my buddy passes ran out and he could no longer go with me to the gym…for free.

So I decided to take one of the classes they offer. Oh yeah! I found my mojo again.

I got to the gym promptly at 6:3o pm, the appointed start time. The class was called Body Pump and I was ready to pump my body into shape for the next hour. Shucks, I walk up stairs when given the opportunity and I’ve always fancied myself as a pretty good dancer so this class should be a piece of cake.

All of a sudden the instructor stands in front of the class and introduces herself and welcomes us to her class. She is a little bitty thing with a huge helping of energy. ‘Ok, this should be fun’ I thought to myself. The instructor walks over to the little stereo on her right and presses a button and the music starts blaring throughout the room. Aaaah, yes! This is what I need.

“Ok, Let’s reach……reach…reach….!” “Kick to the left four times then switch to the right and kick four times then repeat 100 times!”

Huh? What? This torture went on for about 7 minutes and I had finally had enough. I was about to call it quits when as she was making her perky ass around the room she stops in front of me and challenges me! “Come on! You can do it! Reach! Now kick! Good…Good!! Now punch six times!! Come on, you can do it! Go go!!!

All I kept thinking about as she was in my face was how much I wanted to punch HER. I was all like ‘Woman, don’t you see me sweating and panting and holding my side and chest in agony and you want me to GO GO!!?’ I said that to myself of course but I was one GO Go away from smacking her energetic ass.

I couldn’t let her see me give up so I pressed on. I was all ‘You are not going to defeat me!’

After about 10 more minutes I said ‘to hell with it’ and skulked out of the class holding my side, walked to my car and drove away never to return.

Who needs to be fit anyway?

16 People saying stuff:

JStar said...

LOL...I SOOOO feel you here...I have never stepped a foot in the gym and dont think I will.

Ms Wensday Mourning said...

As I always I enjoyed your post. I myself have fought this fight and lost miserably. I actually have the equipment in my basement so I would say I am worse shape when I cant even motivate myself to go down the stairs in my own house. I know shame on me!

Sandi McBride said...

Reminds me of the time my bff gave me gym membership...I haven't spoken to her suck it up and go have a doughnut!
You game me my laugh for the day...

laughingattheslut said...

I think that most of us (most of us who care about our heatlh and/or looks) have either had this experience of getting the year gym membership and only actually using it for a month, or else we have bought a treadmill or an excercise bike which is now used as a hat and coat rack.

I have both the mostly unused gym membership and the expensive coat rack.

I think that such things are better with a buddy, or better yet with a whole group of buddies, who set out to do the same thing. And then you have the added social bit instead of just having to go and do something that you get tired of doing.

Red Shoes said...

But... that dynamo that was leading the class?? Was she hot?? I had a lil temptress in a spinning class that was my total motivation for going EVERY class period.. and then some... ;o)


The Dish said...

The Husband is trying to get me to join a gym with him. The biggest problem, other than my extreme laziness of course, is that he wants to work out REALLY early in the morning. I would rather work out in the evening. If I don't have him to MAKE me go, I am so not going to do it. Waste of money.

Freckle Face Girl said...

Funny! That is why I never take classes at the gym. I would rather use the cardio machines in peace. :)

Senorita said...

I feel ya ! I don't have the stamina that I used to.

But I will stick it out if it kills me. I am tired of looking the way that I do.

MODG said...

bahahaa...I love when I randomly find that I inspired someone .What an awesome surprise.
heart you.

B said...

LOL I love the story! I have yet to take a class but I picture myself doing what you did!

Just telling it like it is said...

Oh Tee...your so funny that is how I feel when I go to dance class!!

Tonya said...

I took a class like that in college after I had my first baby. yeah it was rough!

Renaissance Woman said...

LOL...that is so funny!!! Group classes often leave me feeling that way.

Moooooog35 said...

Would you like some cheese with that whine?


Chocolate Covered Daydreams said...

I couldn't help myself....I laughed. I laughed because that is the sort of thing I would do. I would've limped and sweated my way to the car, sulking. But, hey, you waited until she left and THEN you were out of there!

Secretia said...

I never get madder than when I realize I have let myself foet out of shape Again!