Friday, July 20, 2007

My friends and I are so different

We all some how forge friendships with people that are most like us...people we have things in common with. A kinship of sorts. The more we are alike the closer the bond tends to be.

Well, will someone please tell me why I am nothing like my current friends nor do I have anything in common with them. I often sit back and wonder why I am friends with these people and how we established these relationships in the first place.

All of my current friends are ones that I've have for many, many, many years. Sure, I think perhaps we had much in common when we were young but not so much now.

We have grown in many different ways and our interests go off in many different directions.

Coming to this realization is both liberating and frightening. I think I choose to keep these friends out of obligation maybe. Afterall, we all have been friends since we were kids.

If I decide to end this charade and move on I will be alone and lonley and the thought of that is more then I care to bear and it keeps me hanging on to these friendships.

I'm not sure what my future will hold.

Maybe somewhere in the back of my mind I feel that my strong desire to move out of Maryland will allow me to start fresh and develop new relationships and leave these people behind without the guilt that just dropping them would cause.

Maybe I'm just too cool for them. LOL

14 People saying stuff:

Vi vi vi vooom!!!!!!!! said...

That sounds so familiar to me. It happens to the best of us, how we grow apart. The circle I hang around in Blah now, are so more common to me than the ones in Little Blah, who I used to hang around when I lived there.

What you need to do is take yourself down to your closet pub, by yourself and sit at the bar. That's what I did, met Fee, and the rest followed!

Queen of Dysfunction said...

Do you enjoy their company, or have you grown apart so much that you really don't get much out of the relationships anymore?

Are you still considering a move out here to California?

The Diva's Thoughts said...

Queen of Dysfunction -I still enjoy their company but don't feel as close to them as I did years ago.

I would still love to move to CA. I am still definitely thinking about it.

dc_speaks said...

my friends and i are very different as well.


i need to think more about this post to comment.

Cece said...

My rule is: If they drink then I can be friends with them. Because in the end, when all of us are drunk, we end up with so much in common! lol

Honey-Libra said...

Perhaps that last line was correct just as some folks are too cool for school LOL

Sike let me stop, I have friends or should I say had friends who I'm longer friends with..we're still nice to one another but people change and so do gotta grow up sometime..some folks dont understand that

Anonymous said...

that happens a lot, but maybe you guys could try a new activity together and that way you'll have that activity in common and can look forward to it if you enjoy it.

Buffy said...

The friend I'm most like is also the one I'm most different from.

Makes for a wonderful on again off again love hate relationship.

Wouldn't trade it for anything.

lisa q. said...

oh i definitely think you are too cool for them! :P Seriously though if you are feeling lonely in the relationships, it's time to find new relationships. Easier said than done though I know. And that's not to say that you necessarily let go of the old ones. I find that I relate to different friends in different ways you know? So adding some new friendships may help fill up those places that are feeling somewhat empty.

I don't know about moving. I have thought it about myself, but the thought of going somewhere where I know absolutely no one and starting completely over scares the bejesus outta me! :P

Dan said...

I have no friends, but if I did they would probably be very different from me as well. At least I hope so -- for their sake. :)

Thanks for visiting my blog while I was on vacation. That was very sweet of you. I'm just now making the rounds. Got home yesterday.

CapCity said...

u may not be as lonely as u think, Sis Diva. it may be a li'l frightening at first - but take that leap of faith...i say Better to be Lonely because I'm alone than to be Lonely because I'm in a Room full of people with whom I have no interest!

when i moved to nyc i knew only ONE person here...met most of my new circle of friends by visiting houses of worship until i found one that "fit" me, thru jobs, and by doing what i've always wanted to do: poetry readings, etc.

As we used to sing when I taught kindergarten:
make new friends, and keep the old - one is silver and the other's gold! LOL!

Ann(ie) said...

I so know what you mean. I used to think that if I've known someone a certain amount of time that they're grandfathered in and we'll always be friends. Sometimes cleaning house doesn't suck, even if you just take a step back and cultivate other friendships as well.

I love cece's comment, though. hehe. That's pretty much my rule of thumb, too!!

Tired of being broke said...

I went through this recently with a friend. It actually worked itself out, we just stopped calling each other and that was that. Just sorta happened.

People grow up and move on in life.

tAnYeTTa said...

we're military and move about every 3 years. the more i move the FARTHER i am from my 'childhood' friendships. i don't feel bad about it. we chat from time to time but, they were wearing me out. i blame everything on my husband though, i'll always say, hey, i gotta run, darrin's home! LOL