Thursday, November 11, 2010

Have You Outgrown Your Friends? - Day 22

Take a moment and think over your life. Think of all the people that have come in and out of your life. Think of the person you are today.

Would you say that all of the people you currently have in your life actually belong there?

Are your current friends in the same space you are in?

I've asked myself this question on many occasions. In thinking about my current circle of friends I often wonder why we are still friends actually. We are all in different places in our lives. All of my friends with the exception of 2 have kids. I don't. I have the ability to come and go and do as I please and none of my friends here in Baltimore can do that. They have alot more restrictions placed on them then I do. They are not as spontaneous as I am. None of them here in Baltimore have jobs except one of them. I have a career that I love. They are not as willing to take as many risks as I am.

I have one friend, K, who lives in NC that seems to be the only one of my friends that I have anything in common with but that heifer lives in NC! We both have the same career path which is how we met many years ago. I think that our similarities are why we have become so close over the years.

I think I keep my friends in Baltimore around out of a sense of obligation because we have been friends for 20 + years in most cases.

I know for a fact that is a major reason why I can't wait to move to Atlanta; so that I can meet a whole new group of friends that have the same likes and dislikes as I and have a similar lifestyle. I really need to bond with more like minded people and I don't think I can do that here in Baltimore.

I would never stop being friends with my current girls here in Baltimore but I so need a new circle to hang in. I have grown so much as a person over the years and none of my friends here seem to be doing the same and it's a little frustrating for me. I, obviously, can not talk to my B-more friends about this so you guys are it.

My girl in NC, K, she and I have talked about this at great lengths before and she totally gets where I am coming from.

Have you ever felt you've outgrown your friends?

Stay tuned for tomorrow post: Are You There God It's Me Diva?

8 People saying stuff:

Karen said...

I went through a big period where I felt my friend outgrew me. They were getting married and having kids and changing while I wasn't.

It took a while, but I did find a whole new group of girlfriends who are more like me and end up seeing my other friends less frequently.

I make friends pretty easily though so it isn't a terrible issue for me. But I have lamented friends who have left me in the dust.

Don said...

Interesting. I had recently thought about one of my new years resolution (lose some to win some) and I am proud of myself that I cut the strings on most of the friendships that I defined as stagnant.

Like yourself I realized that certain people were still in my life due to loyaltty on my behalf, and not necessarily anything current.

It was difficult severing ties, but I stand here today, happy, that I did. Last year there were certain things which took place in & around my life that left me with no other choice after I saw the number of TRUE friendships I actually had.

Also, I am hoping to relocate to Charlotte next year. I've lived in Atlanta beforehand & an old Army buddy of mines currently resides in Baltimore.

Enjoyed the read. Timely.

Freckle Face Girl said...

This isn't a topic that I can really give an opinion on since I happen to move too often to hang out with a group of friends over the years. I am great at keeping in touch with them though. When I moved back to Texas, I picked up where I left off with many of of my friends there. However, they happened to be in the same place in life that I was.

When it comes to true friends, it is great to have some that have known you over the years even if they aren't in the same place. They aren't necessarily the people you hang out with or socialize with on a daily basis. Mostly, they are great for telephone conversations to play catch up or talk about a problem that you want help solving by someone who really knows you.

Anna said...

Diva wow for the blog, nice make over, its all you too, fits very well. About friends, I think I have more in blogging world than in the real world, lol. They are all on facebook or some other social media, but we never talk, just silently visit. The only friend I have a lot in common is my husband. Anna :)

PS thanks for posting and visiting me regularly, I feel like that bad friend sometimes, as you always show up first.

Senorita said...

Interesting topic ! Almost all of my girlfriends are either married with kids, or in a serious relationship. Yet, we still keep in touch.

That is because while even though I am still probably the only single, childless one in the bunch, I will fit in more with them later down the road once I meet someone and start a family of my own.

But for now I am blessed that even though we are all busy in our lives with our own shit such as work for me and family for them, we still aren't ready to outgrow each other and say goodbye just yet.

JStar said...

Everyone in your life isnt meant to be there forever...Sometimes its time to say goodbye...and other times you keep them forever...But it all depends on the friends...If they fit into your life or not...

Jeni said...

OMG! What a day for me to read this post! I had a phone call this a.m. from an old high school friend -and okay, you know too when I say that I mean that -OLD -factor there, don't 'cha? Anyway, she's always talked in a bit of a convoluted fashion but today, I'm not having a very good day for openers, fatigue out the yazoo plus family issues and well, just not near up to par and that phone call left me almost dizzy it was so circular and had very little meaningful info in it that I could absorb. And yes, at least today, it had me thinking that maybe I have outgrown this friend. Actually, I'm hoping it's just the darned chemo brain drain hitting me and in a day or two, I'll be back to normal about my friends and such, but today -definitely I had outgrown her for the day at least!

impeccableimperfections said...

I recently have lost a friend. Simply because we've both outgrown our relationship. We are in two different places, it hurts. But I feel its for the best.