Monday, March 26, 2007

My Almost Boy Toy

Back in the day, in my early 20’s, I had some pretty wild times (Some I MAY blog about here at some point! lol) I’ve also had a few pretty darn good times in my late 30’s as well. Back in the day I used to hang around male and female strippers. We were friends and I would attend their shows and we’d all hang out and so forth. All very fun. I’ll tell you some of those stories at a later time…I promise. lol

One such incident actually happened about 1 year and a half to 2 years ago. A friend of a girlfriend of mine was hosting a bachelorette party for her sister and invited me. Of course she had to have the obligatory male strippers. Anyone that knows me knows I was all about that!!! Hahaha

So the evening arrives and my friends and I are at this woman’s house enjoying the food, the female bonding taking place and of course anxiously anticipating the strippers to get there and begin their show!

There were to be two on tap for the evening which was fine. The first guy arrives and immediately goes upstairs to change into his costume. I, for one, was not impressed with him. We’ll call him Mr. Too Rough. Mr. Too Rough was of average looks and slightly above average dance skills but couple that with the fact he was just too rough was so not my cup of tea. I think dude forgot he was not in a person’s home and NOT in the wide open space of a club because that fool brought a whip and actually used it! Noooooo. That thing kept getting caught on furniture and anything else. He even dripped melted hot candle wax onto his penis! That one freaked me out!

He left then about an hour or 2 later the second victim, I mean guy, came and it was a totally different story with this one. We’ll call him Mr. Just Right. Mr. Just Right was very cute and sexy. YUM YUM! He went upstairs to immediately change into his gear just as the first guy did. We women were acting up something fierce! We kept making excuses to go up and take a peek at him. We tied to bring him drinks, food, checking to make sure he was ok, just any excuse we could come up with to get in that room. LOL

When I went up there Mr. Just Right grabbed me and proceeded to try and get me to talk to him awhile. Of course I was flattered but not too much. I know the kind of pussy these guys get thrown at them daily. I am not the one so I shrugged him off and rejoined the party. When he came down to dance…..Good LAWD!!!! That boy had me going! But of course I was very reserved but participated at the same time.

After Mr. Just Right completes his set, gets dressed and proceeds to leave, he requests, from the hostess, for me to come out onto the porch and talk to him a second. I complied. We sat outside for a few minutes and chatted about getting to know each other. We in fact exchanged phone numbers.

The whole time I was talking to dude I was going over in my head whether or not I could make this guy my “boy toy”. He had no idea how old I was. In fact, he was well over 10 years younger then I so he couldn’t be anything but a boy toy to me.

Well we did in fact speak over the phone a few times and I was really considering violating this kid about 20 different ways until I got “The Call”.

He called me one day and asks to come see me, “Hey Diva, I really want to come see you.”

“Well Mr. Just Right, when were you thinking?”

“I was thinking we can do this today.”

“Well that might be alright Mr. Just Right. Hmmmmmm” All the while I’m thinking, “Maybe I will get a good fuck outta this deal after all.’

“If I do come over there I’m gonna need you to help me out on gas since gas its so expensive.”

WHAT!!! You have the audacity to ask me for gas money? Oh hell no! His window of opportunity has just closed.

“Well, Mr. Just Right, let me think about this a minute. I’ll call you right back.” Needless to say that was the last time I spoke to dude.

Come on now! Hahahaha..

10 People saying stuff:

laughingattheslut said...

Did you live on the other side of the moon or something?

Princess Extrordinaire said...

Hah - what a story - and man I know what it's like to want to violate a BOY TOY 6 ways from Sunday!

lisa q. said...

awww i wanna a boy toy to one with a job and his own gas $$$...

dmarks said...

He wasn't the wax "shudder" guy, was he?

The Diva's Thoughts said...

demarks - Nope. Th "Wax guy" was a little too much for me. lol

CarmenSinCity said...

Oh my god! That is so funny. He was pretty perfect until he opened that mouth huh??

I met a guy this weekend that is 22. I'm 33. We hung out all night and now I'm thinking about making him my "boy toy". Yumm. I'm also wondering if he knows how old I am. Whatever. I'll let you know how it pans out. I should see him sometime this week I hope.

Rachel said...

I guess I don't know what I am missing. I haven't ever been to a strip club or at a party with strippers.

laughingattheslut said...

I've never been to a party like that either. But if I did, and I happened to have a nice conversation with the stripper, does that mean I'm supposed to pay to see him on his off time? I realize that he's used to getting paid for something I have only even thought about doing for a very few people, but it is really weird that he expected to get paid for a social visit.

Not like you asked for a favor, like can you borrow his truck to move some furniture, and he said okay as long as you buy him a tank of gas.

And I know I haven't been dating for a long time, but the guy used to pay for dinner and such. Now I think maybe it's whoever asked does the paying, but even then, he called you! Weird.

minijonb said...

"She's in love witha Strippa!"


That's a very funny story. His loss.

Avin said...

I am mad MiniJonB used a T-Pain reference here.

In regard to Mr. Wrong as hell for asking you for gas money, what the hell was he thinking?

No more potential boy-toy's m'kay Diva?