Friday, March 30, 2007

Life Altering Decisions

I have been thinking for quite some time now that I need a change of scenery. I want to move all the way across country to California. I am serious about this. I used to frequent California several years ago and I simply fell in love with it. There is just something electric about California compared to the east coat with the exception of New York. Maybe it’s because there is just a totally completely different mind set out there then on the east coast. They are so much more laid back and less judgmental then those here on the east coast. We tend to be more aggressive, ruder and more uptight.

I am a very free spirited person. I try my best not to judge folks. Hell I say live and let live but if I were to tell my uptight, clinched assed girlfriends about some of the things I’ve done or want to do they would surely look at me a lot differently then they do now. For that reason I tend to keep intensely personal thoughts, feelings and desires to myself. Sometimes I feel as though I am living a lie and not really allowed to be myself. I would love to just be able to be my true self around folks. Even with my current boyfriend I can’t really be myself because I don’t think he could handle it. In fact, I know he can’t.

Maybe if I move out there and start fresh and meet some new people I can finally be able to let go.

Finding a job shouldn’t be hard for me; I’m a nurse and have been for the last 10 years so I’m sure I could find a hospital or doctor’s office to work in. I think fear is preventing me from doing this. I don’t have a place to live out there so finding a job BEFORE I get there will be a bit challenging. I don’t know anyone out there so I would be completely alone and that frightens me as well.

I don’t know, maybe one day I’ll grow the balls necessary to do want I always wanted to do.

Have you ever been afraid to make serious life altering decisions? If so did you go through with it and how did it turn out?

12 People saying stuff:

Princess Extraordinaire said...

Funny that you wrute about this today as I wrote about losing passion for somethig in life - yes - I have ben where you are now - it was regarding marriage and I am glad I took the leap - I am so happy and BTW I live in California! Orange County to be exact!

dmarks said...

f your boyfriend can't handle who you really are, you probably don't plan to be with him much longer, right? Does not sound like a long-term prospect.

Just curious where in California you frequented and want to go to now? It's a diverse state. Since you said "electric", it's probably the LA area, right? I quite like the San Diego area.

Now, about serious life-altering decisions? I tend to want to get things all set and then have them stay that way.

The Diva's Thoughts said...

dmarks - yes, the LA area! I love it there. As far as the boyfriend goes, I'm nt sure what will happen with him. I'm just taking it one day at a time.

Princess - I spent 2 weeks in Orange County and LOVED it as well.

lisa q. said...

i think about it all the time...moving to a warmer climate, tropical maybe, completely appeals to me...and then i think about how much it would kill me to be far away from my daughters and i chicken out...

here's hoping you have more 'balls' than i do...lol...

DCVita said...

I totally relate! Like the Nike slogan, 'Just do it'! Sometimes the best things in life come when we are the most spontaneous.

Sometimes I feel like certain cities speak to me in terms of moving or at least visiting. I know about this area too, it can get a bit overwhelming. I tend to want to go somewhere radically different every 1-3 months! Good luck on your quest.

Rachel said...

I decided to up and move from Seattle to Michigan when my son was 3 months old.
I moved because his father was here and I wanted D to have a relationship with him.
It was very difficult for me to leave my entire support system and come to a state where I knew only one person.
There are times that I regret it. I no longer have many friends in Seattle and miss my family.
But the reason that I moved out here is still a valid one so I do my best to love my life and move on.
I have made some fantastic friends and have developed my own support system that isn't based on family but friendship.
I hate the winters and the conservatism here but for the most part it is OK and I am happy.
If California is where you want to be, go for it. Heck, with as much plastic surgery that goes on there you won't have any problem finding a good paying position.
My mom is an RN btw. She works in Oncology.

DCchick said...

I am planning a move to LA this summer. My best friend lives out there, so she is apartment searching and I am applying to jobs.

I was really scared to move across the country at first. I'll be very far from my parents (whom I am very close to) but I know I will regret it if I don't do it now.

I don't feel like I fit in the east coast, and after living 23 years in the midwest, I'm not ready to move back there yet.

So I'm trying something different. It's scary, but sometimes you just have to jump in head first.

Good luck!

CarmenSinCity said...

I moved out here to Vegas with no job! The good thing was that I had a boyfriend and we moved together.

But, once we got here, I had to make all new friends and eventually we broke up and I had to find a place to live and I'm really happy.

Take the chance. California is beautiful and it's so fun to start fresh.

Eileen Dover said...

I did it when I was young. It was an opportunity I couldn't refuse, and left Australia and moved overseas.

It's completely life-changing, a huge culture shock (even from east-to-west coast), but if you can do it, I encourage it.

I think the best experiences are always the ones learned outside of your comfort zone.

Freckle Face Girl said...

I'm all for picking up & moving to a new place. I've done it several times & it is nice. Plus, I think California is the one place in America where we all wish we lived. Go for it!

thethinker said...

I think that, to a certain extent, everybody is afraid of life altering decisions. It's just a fear of the unknown. Personally, I'd love to pick up and move to California. The only thing stopping me is one more year of high school.

California is beautiful. Good luck with your decision.

Queen of Dysfunction said...

I have a proposal. You want to live in California, and after living here all my life I'm ready to get the hell out.

Maybe we should trade places.