Friday, May 4, 2007

You are just TOO BIG!

Ladies, have you ever met a man you were attracted too. You guys meet and you think there is some potential here? That's a pretty "high" stage to be in right? You feel all giddy and excited at the possibilites. We've all been there. That was me a couple years ago when I met this guy we will call "Dan".

Dan and I talked on the phone quite a bit. the conversation was always stimulating. We seemed to have a lot in common. Great! Well he had come over to my house a couple of times and we sat and chatted and got to know each other.

Then one day it was time we took this to another level....yep....we were now ready for some heavy make out sessions! YES!

The kissing was amazing. His lips were so soft and kissable and he knew just what to do with his tongue! His hands were amazing. His touch was pure fire.

As I was doing some crusing of my own my hand reached his crotch area. My eyes opened so wide I thought I was going to stretch them out of their socket! NOOO!!! This is can't be right. I started groping and feeling and I couldn't believe what I was feeling.

I had to ask, "Is that really all you?" He replied, "It sure is." I had never in my life encountered a cock as HUGE as this guys. I have to be honest.... that scared the shit out of me. Needless to say that wasn't going anywhere near me and we broke it off sometime soon after that. There was no way I was going to even attempt something that huge. He would split me in half!!!!

21 People saying stuff:

CarmenSinCity said...

Oh my god that's hysterical. I can relate. i had sex with a guy once that was SO huge, and honestly, I didn't like it. It HURT. Maybe eventually I would have gotten used to it, but I didn't want to even go there - so I never did again!

Sizzle said...

do you still have his number?

;)

Anonymous said...

Number? Inches or phone?

Roxy said...

I've experienced that before. It's amazing. He was a little guy with a HUGE package. I enjoyed it, but only cos I was SUPER wet.

lisa q. said...

all i can even think to say is OMFG!!!

Queen of the Mayhem said...

Diva,
You are hilarious! There is nothing wrong with a well endowed man...especially if he knows how to "work the middle"! :)

It can be a little intimidating...especially when it comes to *ahem* "special favors of the oral kind" (hee-hee)

You may be my new favorite blog!

laughingattheslut said...

I don't want to end up with Dirk Diggler either.

How is a person supposed to work that into the conversation, so that you find out about it before you get into the situation you were in?

I mean, I think I would seriously be attached to the guy by the time we got to such serious making out that I would find out that way. I'd rather know before then, and find some way of getting rid of him without him getting his feelings hurt.

I don't want to invest much in a relationship that cannot go anywhere, and that would be a deal breaker for me.

So how did you end the evening, and what did you tell him when you ended the relationship?

yerdoingitwrong said...

heeeeheeeeeeeeeeee!!!

Vi vi vi vooom!!!!!!!! said...

The bigger the better I say!

Loverville said...

Wow! I don't think I've ever seen one THAT big, where it would be impossible to sleep with the guy!

Earlier this year, I dated a guy with the perfect large penis. JUST the right size. I'm sure I dated him longer than I should have because of that. And he was kind of a small/slim guy too, so it was quite unexpected.

*sigh* I miss him (well, his penis!), just a little bit!

Princess Extraordinaire said...

Ohhow funny! That's better than my encounter with *pencil dick* after his being machismo for so long!

Vixen said...

Now see I would totally be up for that challenge! With big guys it's all about the positioning. Though I imagine it may get old if it was always uncomfortable.

Funny post!

Stepping Over the Junk said...

That is so funny. I wonder HOW a woman can take something so big. I like it "just right". I am laughing that you asked him if it was all him!!!

Arnold de Souza said...

I'm pretty surprised that a women might have an issue with size in the direction that it's "too big". Hmmm... this is educational in that respect.

Speaking for myself, I prefer middle size breasts. L and XL are slight turn offs. So maybe it's something like that.

dmarks said...

Not really the same issue... A woman's oversized breasts can't really hurt us guys.

The Diva's Thoughts said...

Laughing - I simply stopped taking his calls. Just blew him off. I didn't have the heart to tell him he was just too big for me. LOL

laughingattheslut said...

Maybe Hallmark should design a card?

SSC said...

With Big I have to drink a couple of glasses of wine first. Then its okay. I am glad to know that I am not the only one. However you are just so funny!!

CapCity said...

Ok, i'm late to the topic - but this is my first time here and I agree w/ the comments asking for his number! LOL! i am LOOKING for a brother like THAT! Especially if he has a heart & a brain to MATCH = THAT's the matching set of luggage I need! LOL! I actually asked this same question of how to determine size to Mw/Balls:
http://manwithballs.blogspot.com/

LOL!

Pink-satin said...

lol!this is too funny.......but girls...we complain if it is too small and now too big...some hilarious shit

Jane is Dating said...

my daughter's dad was huge- probably still is...but good God I got tired of it because no matter what I was always sore...now let me tell you what not to really try- uncircumcised penis- some are perfectly fine i'm sure- but for example someone who shall remain nameless, didn't always clean it right and talk about making me puke...oh god I've shared too much

ps my new blog is at http://justjane.wordpress.com