Wednesday, June 20, 2007

I'm feeling pretty down these days...

Hey all....I don't have any funny or insightful things to post this morning. I'm feeling rather down today. I've been dealing with the demise of the relationship I tried so hard to hold on to. I haven't even told any of my friends or family yet that The Analyst and I broke up. I just don't know what to say nor do I feel like fielding a million and one questions about why we are no longer together. I am still very tender about this right now and I just can't answer alot of questions about it.

I am hurt and angry that I am back here again. Alone, depressed and lonely. I am angry and hurt that he destroyed what we had. In the beginning things were so amazing. We were closer then two people could possibly be. We were looking toward a future together then for some reason it all stopped and I am left here just confused and hurt to my core.

He called me this morning to talk..... to tell me how things are not going the way he had hoped they would and how sorry he was that things are the way they are between us. I just lost it on the phone and just cried and cried. I just couldn't stop. Even now as I write this at work I am sitting here at my desk trying to hold it together but not doing a very good job of it.

What do I tell people? I don't want to face this.

I had an appointment with my ENT doctor yesterday and was told I needed an outpatient surgery. That saddened me. Not because of the surgery...that's nothing but because there is absolutely no one that I can count on to take me and be with me while this surgery is taking place. It just drove home the point that I am so completely alone.

This is a very depressing place to be in right now.

I'll bounce back and be ok at some point but right now I am feeling pretty low.

25 People saying stuff:

Vi vi vi vooom!!!!!!!! said...

Oh mate, been there done that. It's not nice. I know it hurts like hell, but it does get better. Just give yourself some time. And regarding the Op? You aren't alone. You've got friends, you've got family. Boys come and go, friends last forever.

xxx

lisa q. said...

oh girl! i am sooooo sorry! you just tell people you can't talk about it now...they need to respect that...you need time to begin to heal...and you will heal even though it doesn't feel that way at all...

you are fabulous! you are in my thoughts...i'm here if you need someone to talk to...

love ya girl! :$

Ms. Behaving said...

We've all been there at one point or another in our lives and I know that it's going to be hard--unfortunately.

All I can say is that time and even prayer will heal your wounds.

I hope you're going to be okay.

Bklyn Diva said...

:( HUGS!!!!

I know you don't want to hear this but you are not ALONE nor are you LONELY!!! but only you can determine that..

You have your friends, family and bloggers ;) we love ya..

now re: your surgery.. you dont have a good girlfriend or family member than can go with you? worst case scenario.. pay for a car service to take you there and home..

Honey-Libra said...

I suffer from that..wondering what to tell folks when something you wanted to work out and even though would work out doesn't..someone once told me that I needed to do what makes me happy and forget about what folks say...Perhaps things are this way for a reason..you need to work on you and he needs to work on himself so that when the time is right for the both of you there will be no confusion..but I ain't no expert (in case you've read the blog lol)..all I can say is crying really does help lol

♥Lil'_Ms_Outspoken♥ said...

Awwwwww................Im so sorry your feeling down in the dumps.

I cannot compare, but I hope you feel better with this....maybe things will turn around for you......

YOU ALWAYS HAVE SOMEBODY.

SOMEBODY=FAMILY AND FRIENDS...

HOPE YOU FEEL BETTER....! TURN THAT FROWN UPSIDE DOWN! =)

Mizrepresent said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mizrepresent said...

Well, i'm wishing you the best Diva...even when our favorite Diva isn't feeling her best...of course we have all been here before, and can feel your pain. Hugz Sis! And know that a brighter day is coming.

SSC said...

Diva,

This to shall pass. I know it hurts and you are sad, and those feelings are okay. As far as not telling anyone don't. If they pry be firm and say this is not open for discussion.

From what I know of you, from your writings you seem like a very out going, positive person who is not afraid to be herself. Many men are scared of a powerful woman.

Whatever is meant to be is meant to be. I am not sure I would approve of you dating him again. He seems like an idiot to let you get away.

When one door closes another one opens!! Keep eyes on the sun so you will never see the shadows.

JustMeWriting said...

Awwww...wow, I'm SOO sorry you have to go through this and feel this way, but PLEASE know that God heals broken hearts...weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning. I've been there and knowing that it's better to leave with what you know now, then stay and learn the HARDER way (ie. unhappy marriage). God will see you through lady and I'll be praying for your joy to be restored.

Sizzle said...

i'm so sorry you are feeling so alone. that is a scary, lonely place to be in. be kind to yourself. this is not how it will feel forever (not really a consolation but you will survive this).

xo

CarmenSinCity said...

I know this sounds lame, but it'll get better with time and maybe this a case of a door closing so that another better one can open.


You deserve the best, so deal with the pain, it'll pass and good things will come. I'll be thinking of you.

dc_speaks said...

I think you're pretty darn cool. I'm glad to have you in my cyber world.

(((hug))))

tAnYeTTa said...

i am so sad just reading this. CRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i'm serious. try to get it all out. take a day off from work and just CRY, SCREAM do whatever you have to do. Then PRAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! for the strength to bounce back. What in the world? He broke up with you over the phone? I am sorry for the million questions. I know that's the last thing you need to hear right now. So sorry you're hurting. (((((((hugs))))))) and I can offer to get my family members to go and flatten his tires or something. Let me know :)

Cece said...

I'm so sorry you're going through this. {{hugs}]

Torrance Stephens bka All-Mi-T said...

keep your head up hon - writing helps me out

SSC said...

Diva,

I was thinking about you today and wanted to know how you are doing. If you ever want to talk please email me.

I know you are feeling down, however I just want to say I miss your spunky creative writitng.

Hang in there your readers care for you and if you need anything let me know.

Hugs,
SSC

Freckle Face Girl said...

It is so hard when relationships end. You suddenly have a lot more time to think about everything that happened & your current situation. I feel for you.

Hopefully, you'll soon realize that you have friends & family that care and are more important than whatever crap you have to deal with in life.

Jane is Dating said...

Hon I'm so sorry you're going through this- I mean I've sorta gone through the same thing recently and it sucks...listen just get up every morning and one step at a time. I feel incredibly alone but have some good friends near me- I just need to let them in- but like I told my friend- I think I want to invest some time in myself this summer...hopefully the peace will do me good. xoxo

dc_speaks said...

sneakin in to give you a big hug (((HUG)))

KIKI said...

I'm not going to say all the "usual" stuff people say. Seeing that I'm going thru the same, I know that's the last thing you want to hear. So what I am going to tell you is what I tell myself when I start feeling "down" about my relationship being over (and I mean this as no disrespect toward the Analyst, but...)

F*CK 'EM...It's his lost and all he did was clear the way for a better man to come along...one you can find happiness with. The trick is...you can't just say it...you have to believe it! It'll take some time, but you can do it. Until then, keep ya head up, girl!

Smooches!

Adeolu said...

I feel your pain. All you need to do is simply "move On".

dc_speaks said...

just poppin in to say "Hi, girl"

Anonymous said...

U will feel better soon.....keep in mind that u date the wrong guy/s to know the right kind of guy for u. Know that his part in ur story is over. keep ur self busy and u ll be fine.

notfainthearted said...

Oh honey, this sucks.

Wish I could be there for you during your surgery. You're in my prayers.