Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Two different languages

When it comes to relationships why do men and women speak two different languages? We women speak from emotion and the heart and men speak from their dicks and their heads. It’s a sad but true fact. It’s a wonder that with this communication gap we ever get together much less understand each other.

Men, we women are not very difficult to understand or please. We want you to make us feel important. Wanted. Loved. Desired. Protected. A simple gesture can accomplish that. Try calling your woman in the middle of the day just to say “Honey I miss you and needed to hear your voice.” Do you realize how far that will take you?!!! We can live off that call alone for a month! We are not that complex. Men, grab her by the lower waist and pull her close to you and kiss her like you want to rip her clothes off then walk out the door and head to work.

Men, if we feel loved, desired and secure you would be surprised at what we would be willing to do for you. It puts us in a mode of wanting to do anything we can to please you. We would be the most pleasant creatures to be around.

As long as we know you love us we will stick with you through your long ass prison stint! (some of us anyway! hahaha) Seriously, if things are rough and rocky, man, we’d be right by your side trying to help you steady that boat.

When things get rough we want to support and nurture and communicate. What do you men do when things get rough, you crawl into your shell and become emotionally distant. You become moody and difficult to deal with. You push us so far to the side that we feel we no longer matter. We begin to feel that we are unwanted and undesirable.

Men, listen very closely to your woman when she is expressing these feelings because once she feels this way she is then going to open the door for another person to make her feel loved and desirable. Once this happens, there is no going back.

This is where I find myself these days.

20 People saying stuff:

Ms. Behaving said...

Oh my...sounds like somebody had better get it together AND FAST...

Love the post btw--it's SO TRUE!

Hope things work themselves out!

notfainthearted said...

I'm such a romantic, I'd like to think there is always a chance to "go back." But experience tells me that you are right, that there is a point of no return. *sigh*

Vi vi vi vooom!!!!!!!! said...

Plain and simple.

Men are aliens. (or just thick)

dmarks said...

Time for me to drop another piece of wisdom from Gene Simmons of "Kiss":

"A man has two heads. But blood enough for only one"

Mizrepresent said...

So true, Preach! There is a lesson to be learned here.

dc_speaks said...

hmmmmmm...well now. Men dont always think using their two heads, ladies. I'm not goin gto speak for the entire gender, but for some of us.

disclaimer* nothing typed here is degrading or meant to offend any woman at all. I'm simply going to give a male perspective on the subject.

ok...now that that's out of the way. let me open with the fact that men can and will only do what they are allowed to do to women. Personally I know of many many women who say 1 thing and actually mean something different or want to get a reaction out of dudes. Do you think that all dudes have the ability to sort out what a woman really means all the time? nope. We don't

Commnicating a thought to a dude is great as long as you are communicating real things. Or better yet, if the only time that you become clear in communication is when you're angry may send a clear message to the man that"oh boy...here we go again" speech is about to jump off. Too many times women have the mindset of if everything is good, they may not say anything...but if they get pissed...the floodgates are open.

Before y'all get too huffy, I agree with the general post but I think it goes both ways in speaking and listening...that's why I used the word communication which really should be preface with the word EFFECTIVE.

sorry about the length of this post.

JustMeWriting said...

oh wow...I feel for you and I KNOW what you're going through because I've been there. I remember when I was going through with my ex (he was that shut-down type) and I'd had enough, his cousin said...'you know how he is, so just be the bigger person and hang in there' well I did and guess what...NOTHING CHANGED...LOL. I think it was because it wasn't meant to be. If WE'RE in this thing together WE should both be happy...lol, It's only fair, but so is life...NOT!

I want my man to be moved to do ALL the things you mentioned because he's moved to by me...no holds barred, but if you have to promp him and he still doesn't respond, then you might have to go your way.

CarmenSinCity said...

DAMN - that was fucking perfect. It's like you can read my mind, but you are a woman and I guess we do all want the same things. I totally agree with you that I'm not asking for much. I'm not hight maintenance, I don't need fancy meals or vacations, just make me feel secure. He would get so so so much from me if I knew he wasn't leaving. This is the reason I haven't been in a relationship forever - I hate the impending feeling of doom that they are going to leave at some point and then I'll be alone again.

JustMeWriting said...

hey...Bilal's Love Poems song is perfect for what you're feeling now.

lisa q. said...

hmmm...it's that whole mars venus thing huh...

we really do think differently...we're simply wired differently...we have different thought processes and different communication styles...

by the way, dc is right when he says "men can and will only do what they are allowed to do to women"...you teach people how to treat you...

is your homework done :D

Princess Extraordinaire said...

I agree - and it sounds like you're giving soeone some much needed advice that they better heed!!!

Rhea said...

The two genders are socialized so differently that things will always be somewhat disjointed.

Sizzle said...

it sounds like you are in a rough spot. i'm sorry for that. i hope it gets better for you!

i agree with parts of this post- it should be simple to love one another and yet both genders are so complicated. sometimes i think "like a man" and that causes problems with my "thinks like a woman" lovers. it's not easy but when it's good, it is GOOD. something has to be making us keep going back for more, right?

Cece said...

Great post. Very straight up. If men don't get "it" after reading that, they never will.

annoyedallthetime said...

you ain't nevah lied on this one---We can live off that call alone for a month! We are not that complex.

true, true, true!!!!!!!

abbagirl74 said...

So true, so true.

dc_speaks said...

hey..wheres the new post...

stop by my spot if you have time today.

CapCity said...

Sis Diva - it IS tricky finding the right "dance" partner who will lead gracefully without stepping all over my "feet"(feelings) and also spins me out where I can do my thang! I'm enjoying my recent dance partner, but not sure if The Creator will deem him my dance partner for life - but it IS FUN figuring out these steps together thus FAR!

What's funny to me, now - b'cuz i'm EXTREMELY independent - but have gotten to the point where I don't need to SCREAM it to the world & can allow men to lead. My newest dance-partner LOVES the fact that I allow him to make most of the decisions...I was like - is that ALL I had to do? wish i knew this years ago! LOL!

Good luck, Sis!

44Black said...

Ok, I am trying out your blog and I am offended by this garbage. We don't think with the dick in our head. We are just logical! You are emotional! Besides, everyone knows that there is no dick in our brains. There is a brain in our real penis that we use in high pressure situations......GET YOUR FACTS STRAIGHT

lilgracie said...

There are so many truths in this post I wouldn't know where to start. I wish men would all read this