What is Wrong With Us?

I don’t think men realize just how serious marriage and kids are to some of us women. No one wants to spend the rest of their lives alone. Most of us want a spouse that will be there waiting for us when we get home armed with a warm smile, kiss and hug along with a “How was your day honey?” It gives us warmth, depth and purpose.

There are some of us that are so serious we’ve made dating and marriage an art form.

There are a few in our society that actually are not the marrying type and that’s ok but for some, the thought of not finding a mate is quite disturbing.

I have a really good friend that lives in Charlotte NC. She moved there with the sole purpose of finding a husband and having kids because North Carolina is touted as the Mecca of single men.

Well since she’s moved there almost 2 years ago she hasn’t had any real prospects to speak of until very recently. She met a promising man; they went on 4 dates mind you. My friend regales tales of laughter, great conversation, mild flirting and a definite connection. This man went away for a 6 week overseas vacation. After which time, my friend, thinking he’s surely back by now, called and left a message on his voicemail to call when he got a chance. He never called. She is now left wondering what went wrong. Is there something wrong with her?

This has forced her into a depression. She has even decided to begin seeing a therapist to help her deal with the looming knowledge that she may never have the husband and kids she so desperately wants.

Why is it so difficult for some to find a date much less a spouse and others seem to effortlessly fall into multiple marriages?

I wonder if my friend is taking this all too much to heart. When I begin to wonder that I then try to put myself in her shoes and realize that the thought of being alone for the rest of my life is very disheartening to say the least. I do have an understanding of where she is coming from.

I’ve been married before so I am coming from a different perspective. When people find out I’m divorced a sense of “Aaawww...I’ve been there too” or “I so totally understand.” envelopes the vibe of the conversation and it seems cool. But when we meet someone in their late 30’s and older that have never been married we wonder “What is wrong with you?” Even though I feel that is a terrible way to think I find myself wondering the same thing. “Why haven’t you been married before? What is wrong with you?” Sad I know.