Monday, January 21, 2008

Ok...You've Got To Go.

Things have been really confusing at The Diva's house lately. The Analyst and I are still in this weird area. One minute he is very distant and the next he's all playful.

Bottom line is that I am still not getting what I want and need from him. I was driving into work this morning and began tearing up as I know I need to get him out of my house and the realization is painful. I knew he needed to go before but because he's still there and going back and forth with this behavior of one minute wanting me and the next not wanting anything to do with me is confusing and frustrating me which I told him it would do if we kept this up. It just keeps sucking me back in when I think I've pulled away.

I need peace and to maintain my sanity and the only way to do that is to get him out.

I am convinced he doesn't really care about me. He just doesn't want to live in a strange place with a strange person (getting a roommate) because he can't afford an apartment on his own right now. That is the real reason he doesn't want to leave my home. I've said as much to him but of course he denies it but a person can tell in their soul whether a person is into them or not and The Analyst does not act like someone that is into me or wants a relationship at all. His "moments of possibility" are killing me.

I just want peace people.

I feel I am in limbo because I can't really emotionally move on or even date a little with him still in the picture and that is not fair to me. I've been talking to and hanging out with The Manager a little here and there (no sex....not my style) but I feel I can't take that any further if I wanted too because of The Analyst still hanging around.

I just want to have peace, date a little, just have fun (nothing serious as yet) for now until Mr. Right comes along eventually but I can't feel free with him at my house.

UGH!!!

25 People saying stuff:

dmarks said...

Can you set a concrete deadline? Reading this, I can't come to any other conclusion than he has to get out now.

Lys said...

I'm in agreement with DMarks. I went through this with a roommate and told 'em that they HAD to leave by a certain date and I held that date. No whining, no cajoling, no b*tchin'. Finito - out.

I hate seeing you go through this crap. There is no need for YOUR life to be in limbo for his interests. *hugz*

dc_speaks said...

i cant add anything more than what has already been stated.

Peace and hugs to you my acquired sister. smile!

Don said...

Looks like The Analyst is on his way out the door. Get that peace you need, by all means.

Karen said...

I agree with DMarks also. Give him until Feb. 15 (or wahtever) and that's it. It is YOUR home. You have to do what is healthy for you.

A.Tiara said...

I agree with all the other comments. Having him in the house is a daily reminder of whats not working in your life. I hope you get the strength to put him out and move on. I wish you the best.

mSjEnA said...

find your peace !!

laughingattheslut said...

If you were married or maybe even engaged, that would be another thing entirely. But when you're just dating, you need a place to go and get away from him. And this is going to be especially important if you want the whole work from home thing to work out. You can't have your ex or your on-and-off boyfriend hanging out at your place of work, even if that happens to be your living room.

ANO said...

Want me to come over and kick his ass out?

I have no idea what area he needs but I know of a place that has 1 bedrooms with utilites for $800 a month.

Vi vi vi vooom!!!!!!!! said...

I hope you get him out of your house and life soon, for your own sanity.

Mizrepresent said...

I'm with the rest...it's time you give him a deadline to move...he is injuring your spirit.

MysTery said...

KICK...HIM..OUT!

:)

lisa q. said...

"I need peace and to maintain my sanity and the only way to do that is to get him out." Yep, and not only do you need it, you deserve it! He's got to go!

shorty said...

Like a band-aid....RIGHT OFF!

Don't worry about Mr. Right, worry about Mr. Right Now and get his ass out.

Why not just tell him he has to be out by the weekend. If you set a date too far out, he may have time to change your mind again.

Where did he come from? Why can't he go back to where he was before he began sponging off of you?

He's an adult, not your child, it's not your responsibility to make sure he has a place. This has been going on for a month now, that we readers know of.

Trust me, I'm the biggest procrastinator, but maybe a fast split up is best.

Keep off the Manager for a bit. He's dicked you around before too, I think...

Good Luck, stay strong!

The Ambiguous Blob said...

give him a little push, yeah?

SSC said...

Diva -
We women have this thing called intuition and it works. Even as painful as it might be we were all born with this. Kick him out, I bet that is the reason why, he doesn't want a roommate and he thinks your just playin and he can do what he wants.
First send him to get some medication for his behavior and secondly kick his shit out and say peace out, I am too good for you. You arrogant bleep, bleep, bleep, bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!!! And smile as he drives away!!!!

Eb the Celeb said...

Girl give him an outdate...

aint nothing like being uncomfortable in your own home... the one place you go to for solace when the rest of the world is messing with you.

Its not your problem he cant afford a place of his own. Tell him he has to be out by March 1st. I think that is plenty of time for him to get an alternative living situation...

and it that meantime dont allow him to suck you back in so that he knows you are serious about that date. Dont sleep in the same bed, and show no affection... I know its going to be hard... but its the only way... you have to think of yourself first.

It will be in perfect timing too... right before spring... when its easier than ever to get back into the dating scene.

Good luck girl!

Freckle Face Girl said...

That is so tough, good luck!

Tired of being broke said...

Do you have any male family members that can help show him the door?

Rachel said...

That's so, so rough.

When I lived with my boyfriend all of last year, the last four months were just utterly miserable.

And then he cheated on me.

The end of the lease was a blessing. I've never felt so wonderful to be on my own.

soumynona said...

Diva, you are too much a Diva to live in a prison. Perhaps suggest that you need a little space so that he can move back to his place. Still call him for a few days to see where his head is and if its still wishy washy then cut off all ties!!! Quite easy to say this but I know its tough to do it
'Huggzzz'

laughingattheslut said...

I would be interested to know how much per month he pays to stay with you. Maybe there is a motel or extended stay place that he could go for the same amount of money. Or maybe if it would cost just a bit more, you might want to pay the difference and be rid of him tomorrow.

Sojourner G said...

Think Nike! (Just Do It!)
Why is he there in the first place? Life is to short to be unfulfilled and to emotionally (and other ways) support someone who is not returning the favor.

"Free your mind and the rest will follow."

tjeanise said...

Sounds like you are in a situation-I hope it works out for you!

Ms.Lady said...

Its time for him to go Diva.
You are only hurting yourself with the truth.
Your gut NEVER lies.
You know its over.
Time to move on gurl.
YOU.WILL.BE.JUST. FINE FINE FINE FINE FINE FINE Hoooo!!
Lol...thought Id make ya' laugh a bit.