Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Another Year Is Here

Posted by Diva's Thoughts at 9:42 PM

I truly hope you all ushered in 2008 in fantastic form. I hope you all had a great time and were safe. I can't believe we are already into a brand new year. A brand new year means a brand new lease on life.

I've decided to do something that I have never done before during this time of year. Make a list of goals I want to accomplish in 2008. I think that will keep me focused. Something to really work toward.

It may sound strange but I am actually looking forward to making my list of goals. It's weird.

Do you guys make a list of goals you want to accomplish in any given year? How many of your goals do you actually accomplish?

As for The Analyst and I, we are in this weird gray area. I want him gone from my home like NOW so that I can begin the healing process. It's like one minute we are total strangers passing each other in the house without uttering one single word to each other then the next minute he is trying to joke with me and calling me "Babe" and other things. It's really tugging at me and confusing me and I really need him to leave. We sleep in the same bed and neither one of us has a desire to touch the other. It's really weird. I had promised him that I would give him enough time to find alternative living arrangements and I will not renege on that but it is hard for me.

Man I need strength. This is not easy at all.

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26 People saying stuff:

Mizrepresent said...

Hugz sis, and i'm feeling you...been there done that...but hold on...help is on the way and you are gonna feel so much peace once you free yourself from those binds...know this, but go ahead and start working on those other goals...don't let nobody stop the show!

January 1, 2008 at 10:09 PM
Miss Snarky Pants said...

HERE'S WISHING YOU ALL THE BEST FOR THE NEW YEAR!!!

May you get everything you hope for!!

January 1, 2008 at 10:28 PM
Anonymous said...

Man I hope this time goes by quickly for you so that you can get some peace and happiness. Stay strong.

January 1, 2008 at 10:33 PM
Rita said...

I dont write the NY's resolutions anymore. It hasnt work before, so I stopped doing it.
Moving on is gonna be hard, but hang in there!
Happy New year!!!

January 1, 2008 at 10:50 PM
That girl said...

I have done that. It is hard. My ex lived with me for a month before 'arrangements' were made. It was awful.

Your word is your word, and I admire you not wanting to go back on it, but boy do I know where you are coming from.

Good luck, and hopefully 2008 will be a better year.

January 1, 2008 at 10:52 PM
Jazzy said...

Girl, I so feel you on getting him gone so you can really deal and I understand you want to give him time to find some place (that's really nice of you), but try to make him understand that he shouldn't drag his friggin feet either!

Good luck with that and a Happy New Year to ya!

January 2, 2008 at 10:48 AM
Anonymous said...

I'd give him 30 days. That's more then enough time to find something!

I just have one main goal for 2008 and that's to get my debt paid off.

January 2, 2008 at 10:57 AM
charmcitygirl said...

On resolutions, I make them every year. I spend the week between Christmas and New Years really thinking back over the last year and thinking about what I want for the new year. I write down the big goals and then break them down into smaller goals. For example, I really want to lose 30 pounds in 2008. It is harder to do in my 40s than it was in my 20s so I broke it down to see how much I need to lose every quarter and how much every week. Then I wrote out an actual schedule in my dayplanner for when I will go to the gym (3 times a week). I don't think I have ever been quite this precise before so hopefully this year will be my year.

As for the living arrangements. If it is your place, he should respectfully sleep on the sofa. I can't imagine sleeping with someone like that.

January 2, 2008 at 11:19 AM
magnoliapeach said...

Happy New Girl!!! As you write that list, I hope that you get everything on it and more!!! (including getting dude out your place :).

January 2, 2008 at 11:32 AM
dmarks said...

I hope there is some limit on the time he can stay while he looks for something? With situations like that, if there is no deadline or reason to find anything, there is less incentive. You don't want it to devolve to something like "You, Me, and Dupree"... or more like "Me and Dupree" (just two). Easy for me to say when I don't know the guy, right?

I still have last years' goals to work on; not making new ones.

January 2, 2008 at 11:35 AM
Vi said...

oh I don't know how you can do that, letting him stay. I hope you are circling the accommodation adds and leaving it for him to see!

January 2, 2008 at 11:56 AM
minijonb said...

he'll get the wrong message until he's sleeping on the couch. he needs to wake up and do that.

January 2, 2008 at 12:11 PM
lisa q. said...

ugh...that is sooo uncomfortable! you're very kind for giving him time to find living quarters...just don't let it be indefinite otherwise your healing will never begin...

January 2, 2008 at 12:43 PM
Anonymous said...

I'm praying for your patience, your broken spirit and an end to your tough situation. Continue to hold on and know that you got a gang of folks in blogland rooting for you!

January 2, 2008 at 1:20 PM
Adrianne said...

I admire you your word means a lot. When life seems to get me down I always relish in this saying, “This to shall pass.” I feel strength and wisdom when I say it because I believe it. I know you are very strong and this must be hard. I do promise you this too shall pass and you will learn more about yourself in this process. It’s weird when you face certain struggles in life you become stronger and you find the strength that you never thought you had.

I would want him out as well, just remember its your house and you can put him on
craiglist.com to start look now for a new place. You were very vague, when he finds something. See I would say, your ass needs to be out as of….. I would give a timeline. But when the heart is involved it’s hard. It is also especially easy to give advice when you are not walking in the other person’s shoes.

So with that I will say I am here for you and I know you can get through this!!!!

January 2, 2008 at 1:42 PM
Ms.Lady said...

Stay strong girl...you know whats best for you and your mental status..but i agree with ODiva he cant be taking his sweet time..that will only make it harder on you...the sooner the better mama..good luck with life and love this year.

January 2, 2008 at 4:45 PM
Melissa said...

Like others have said, I hope you have a time limit on this arrangement. My ex lived with me for three months before he finally moved out after he dropped the news of wanting a divorce.

I hope you achieve your goals for 2008. Hang in there and stay strong.

January 2, 2008 at 7:39 PM
Anonymous said...

I guess what I do at the end of the year is reflection and goal setting more than resolutions. I've given up resolutions because they're either kept or broken. Goals can subscribe to the "Progress Not Perfection" motto.

As for the living arrangement thing, if The Analyst really is an analyst he'll respect a deadline. And a blanket while he's sleeping on that couch ;-)

All the best for you in 2008.

January 2, 2008 at 8:36 PM
Rachel said...

I make lists pretty much all the time, but mainly for short-term things.

I yearly list would be an awesome idea.

January 2, 2008 at 9:23 PM
WrkNProgress said...

I wish you the best in 2008, sometimes life is tuff, don't give up on the trial, stay for the blessing!!!

January 2, 2008 at 9:27 PM
One Man’s Opinion said...

I don't make list of goals, even though I am told that if you put it on paper it is more likily to happen. I wish you all the best in your list though. The only thing I wanna do this year is get back into shape, but that is a common goal for most of the world. Wait, that is not true. I need to start doing my art work again and I want to work on getting this damn book I finish last year published.

January 2, 2008 at 9:55 PM
Ann(ie) said...

It's so hard living with the 'ex'. Been there. A huge weight lifted when that door shut b/h him. =P

I am a list freak. So I have a goal list going all the damn time. It does help me keep it all in perspective. Good luck with your goals....you'll do em!! xo.

Happy Happy NY!

January 2, 2008 at 11:50 PM
LovelyBella73 said...

I'm praying for ya sis. I'm never gone through anything like that, but I'm sure it can be very hard on you.

Happy New Year, and I hope this year holds many great things for you.

January 3, 2008 at 3:02 AM
Anonymous said...

I haven't read the other bajillion comments, just wanna say, You have the strength. You have got this far.

Add to your to do list after he hauls his arse outta there.... new sheets and pillows. You will thank me.

January 3, 2008 at 7:17 AM
Chari said...

That is so nice of you...HOWEVER, he can sleep on that couch! lol

I have already made me list, now it is time for my action steps!!



Happy New Year!

January 3, 2008 at 3:59 PM
Tired of being broke said...

Give him 30 days notice in writing that he needs to fnd alternate arrangements. At the end of 30 days change your locks. End of story. He is a grown man he will find some place to go when his back is against the wall.

January 3, 2008 at 8:47 PM

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