Friday, December 24, 2010

Day 17 - Ask Tee

Hi Everyone,

I know it's been like forever since I've done an Ask Tee segment so I thought it was about time. Here goes:

Dear Tee,

I am a mother of a very strong willed 13 year old. He doesn't listen to me at all. I'll tell him to do something like take out the trash or clean his room or turn off the TV and he just ignores me as if I am not even standing there.

I try handing down punishments because I know that's what I need to do but I feel so bad that I give in to him and rescind the punishment.

What can I do to get this kid to listen to me?


Dear Terry,

This is not an unusual complaint from parents. The problem here is that you don't follow through when doling out the punishment so he sees you as a push over. He doesn't see any consequence so he will not change his behavior.

What you need to do is grow a pair and hand out stiff punishments and stick with it. Let him know there are severe consequences if he defies you. If a child realizes that there are no consequences to his bad behavior he has no reason to stop. Be strict and follow through. He'll get the message. It's called tough love for a reason.

Good luck!


If you have any questions you'd like the blogging family to give their opinion on just send me an email to

3 People saying stuff:

Red Shoes said...

Yes... I totally agree... consequences for actions...

Merry Christmas, Ms Tee...


Lose the Excuses said...

If kids don't learn consequences at home, they'll learn it the hard way in real life.

Jeni said...

I agree completely with you and the two commenters here too! If the parent has been trying to discipline all along -like since early childhood -the guilt complex won't make life near as difficult to deal with once the teen years -and subsequent defiance that often comes with it -won't be near as hard to contend with then. The key -start early!