Who Get's A Call To Pick Up Their Drunk Parent?

I grew up with southern parents with strong southern traditions. Even when my parents moved up north to Maryland they maintained their southern roots. They didn’t run the streets very much. Oh sure there were occasions when they went out together or with friends separately but for the most part they were family people.

When my father died several years ago I was worried about my mother. I was worried about her living alone after a lifetime of living with my father. How would she cope? Would she become a recluse? Many thoughts swirled in my head.

Needless to say I was concerned for nothing. My mother began traveling and hanging out with friends. She was getting her life and I was happy for her. She even managed to find a couple of boyfriends over the years.

On one night in particular I was asleep in my bed. It was late and tomorrow was a work day. In my deepened sleep, somewhere off in the distance I could hear a phone ring. The ringing got closer and louder over time until I realized that it was in my damn bedroom! I woke up, looked at the clock and saw that is was 1:45 am. I didn’t even look at the caller ID I just rolled right back over perturbed that someone had the audacity to call me at that hour. Low and behold the damn phone rang AGAIN! This time I looked at the caller ID and saw that it was my mother’s cell phone. I immediately picked up the phone, “Hello.” “Uuuhhh, Hello? T?” It was my mother’s male friend. “Yeah. Hi.” “Your mom is not feeling very well and she was wondering if you could come to pick her up?” “Where is she? What’s wrong?” “She is sick to her stomach and had too much to drink.” I could hear my mother in the background, “Lemme speeeek tooo heahh.” Her friend handed her the phone, “”T, come git me…I’m siiicckk. I’m down the street from you.” My mother was drunk as a skunk!! She was slurring her speak. “Alright, ma, I’m on my way.”

There is something mighty wrong with this pictire. Isn't my MOTHER supposed to get a call to come retrieve her drunk ass daughter? Surely not the other way around.

Now mind you, my boyfriend was sleeping in the bed right next to me. I was 35 and had not yet told my mother I wasn’t a virgin so her seeing my boyfriend waltzing out of my bedroom in the morning was a little too much for me to bear so I did what any self respecting 35 year old divorcee would do in that situation. I woke him up, forced him to get dressed in record time and promptly hustled his ass outta my house!

I arrive to pick up my drunk mother who is leaning out of the side of her car surrounded by her fresh vomit on the ground. Her friend was standing next to her to make sure she didn’t go anywhere. I open the passenger door and she says, “T, I’m sick!” I look at her and the vomit and I say, “I can see that!” LOL “What in the world did you have to drink?” “Not much.” “Yeah right.” Her friend chimed in and told me all the various drinks she had that evening. I’m surprised she was still conscience!

We get her in the car and I get her to my place where she slept off her alcohol induced stupor. We awake in the morning and I go to her, “Ma, you ok?’ All I get is an “mmm hmmmm.”

Sure you are! You are gonna be hurtin as soon as you open those eyes!!!