Monday, May 21, 2007

Real Life Friends

Posted by Diva's Thoughts at 10:17 AM

I was sitting around thinking last week about my blog and what I write in it. I also thought about some of the subject matter I plan to write about in the future and wondered if I felt comfortable enough sharing my blog address with my real life friends.

The more I thought about things the more I realized I so did not want my real life friends to see this blog. Not because there is or will be anything terribly wrong or earth shattering written here but I plan to write my personal, private thoughts here and I don’t really wish to have anyone in my real life to be privy to that information.

Blogging is and will be my only real outlet to get things off my chest. I want it to remain private in that respect.

I am, however, thankful for you; my online readers because you keep me entertained and give me great feedback when I need it.

I am a very private person in my offline world and I just don’t trust that many folks with my personal feelings and thoughts.

So, I say all of that to ask…… Do you allow your offline, real life friends/family to read your blogs or do you prefer to remain private?

Your thoughts.

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25 People saying stuff:

laughing said...

Giving your blog address to your real life friends and family is probably not a good idea. You get something out of it by talking to strangers, by asking opinions from people who have not already made up their minds, by perhaps hearing what different people really think instead of what they think you want to hear.

If you just started blogging for your real life friends, you don't get the same thing out of it. If you had started off blogging for you friends, that's fine, but you didn't so that's probably not what you want to do.

Klingon proverb--"If I did not want it heard, I would not have said it." And, for the most part, that is how I feel. But the blogging is fun for me right now, the way it is, without my real life people in it. If at some point I blog about some dumb thing my friends did, and it somehow gets back to them what I said about it, too bad. That's what they get for doing the dumb thing.

My husband knows that I have a blog and he can read it any time he wants. But right now I don't really want him as part of my blogsphere. If he wants to leave comments and such, he can log in as "bad husband" or something like that or even just anonymous, but I don't want him signing in and linking to his own blog.

I met a guy online who has become a real friend, and I did once have the opportunity to meet him in real life. But except for those two men, my real life is separate.

Something that you might try is creating a separate blog and giving your friends that address. You can right some things that are different if you want, or you can just copy things from this blog. Then you can see if your real life friends have anything different to say. But you have to be careful doing that, or sometimes you log in or leave comments with the wrong name. And there's always the possibility that someone could google something that you wrote and find out that there are two blogs with the same posts, and then your friends might find your other blog. But they might somehow find it anyway.

May 21, 2007 at 11:25 AM
Eric said...

I never give my blog address to friends or family....however, every girl I sleep with has it. Which, at times, has created some serious issues...lol.

May 21, 2007 at 12:17 PM
DCchick said...

There are only a handful of real-life friends/family that know my blog address.

I like that I have freedom to write about things that I wouldn't tell these people. The ones that have the address are the ones I allow to read what I write, because they either know about it already, or will not think less of me for it. (sadly, I know a few friends that would).

May 21, 2007 at 12:33 PM
B said...

oh hell no.

they know i blog, but they also know that if they want to know something, asking me is the best source.

i used to let my parents read my blog...and then that got bad...and then my friends used to read it...and that caused problems...so I said fuck it, got a new blog and a new address, and it's been awesome since then.

they don't need to read your blog. they have you--live and in person. that's better than the blog.

May 21, 2007 at 1:41 PM
Sizzle said...

that's how my blog started- as a way to connect with RL friends that are far but now it's morphed into this community of people i mostly have never met face to face. some of the RL friends still read from time to time which can pose a problem when i want to talk about something that might concern them (in an unflattering way).

May 21, 2007 at 1:58 PM
Rachel said...

Pretty much all of my friends and family know about my blog. I have made it very clear to them that I am going to write what I want and that if they don't like it too bad, stop reading.
There have been a few times when it has hampered what I have wanted to write because I knew that the person that I wanted to vent about would read it.
But it also has prevented me from putting something out in the blogosphere that could come back to bite me in the ass.

May 21, 2007 at 2:02 PM
dmarks said...

Except for a very few people, I keep the blog world separate from the "real world"

You are very open and honest about how you feel about things, Diva, and I think if you "merged the two worlds", you'd probably be a lot less open, right?

May 21, 2007 at 3:04 PM
Adrianne said...

I gave it to my friends but that is who I am. I am a very free and open person. That is why I probably get in trouble half the time with them. Oh well. I admire that you stick to your guns!!!

May 21, 2007 at 4:48 PM
Losing my Mind said...

NO! NO! NO! is that clear enough? :)

May 21, 2007 at 5:07 PM
Stepping Over the Junk said...

my boyfriend has it, kind of by accident, so it keeps me from writing candidly if I am struggling with something with him, but feel I will at some point be able to tactfully do it, when there are trying times...it wouldnt be news to him if I did...and if he doesnt like it, he doesnt have to read it. Someone I knew from college reads it, we were in the art dept together and for some reason I shared it with him and he is discreet and leaves comments and doesnt share it with anyone.

That's about it. No family. Nothing. At some point I may hurt Chef if I talk about something i am thinking or struggling with, but again, I wouldnt write about it if he didnt already know about it, because I tell him everything.

May 21, 2007 at 5:39 PM
Anonymous said...

I was thinking about this yesterday. Well, the reason I started my blog was because a girl I went to college with found me on myspace after I had ripped her a new asshole in my blog there - I'm assuming she hasn't read my old stuff.

But I needed somewhere to vent, so I will probably not share my other blog. I usually edit most posts and put them on the myspace blog anyway.

May 21, 2007 at 6:50 PM
Queen of the Mayhem said...

I do have some real life friends and family that read this blog. However, hindsight being 20/20....it does hinder me from sometimes freely expressing things that I feel might offend them!

You are probably smarter than I!

May 21, 2007 at 7:10 PM
Anonymous said...

They don't read it much but yes they have the addy...I have to sometimes worry about what I write about even tho I am a grown woman with my own idea of what is okay to share and not share with the bloging world..it's a toss up but if i had to do it over I would probably keep it to myself.

May 21, 2007 at 8:12 PM
lisa q. said...

yes and no...when i started my blog, i emailed the website to pretty much everyone i knew...even my mom! what the hell was i thinking??? fortunately, my mom doesn't retain things well and she's not so web savvy...whew! pretty much the only time now that real life friends visit is if i post a link on myspace which i do periodically...so far, no issues and hey i might even have "hooked one" with last night's find lisa a boyfriend post...

May 21, 2007 at 8:56 PM
CarmenSinCity said...

Girl you are right on target. My parents know about my blog and I am so mad at myself for showing it to them. They read it all hte time now and my dad actually yells at me when I cuss in my posts. Not to mention that I'll NEVER be able to discuss sex on my blog now.

May 21, 2007 at 9:22 PM
Vi said...

The only RL people who have mine, are people who are nowhere near me, and I can trust them completely. This includes my sister in Oz, Joie (since she started me blogging) and Tabby in Scotland. Since I rarely see them, it helps us stay close. But I would die if anyone from Blah found it and read it. (Although Jasmine will have access soon, as I tell her everything that goes in it anyway!)

May 22, 2007 at 7:57 AM
Peach said...

three blogs now for me - 1 public for friends and everyone 1 about fags and not very interesting, but I want it to document trying to give up smoking and stuff and 1 private one to rant in about work and stuff I don't want anyone who knows me in real life to read! Sad really eh?!

May 22, 2007 at 12:18 PM
Anonymous said...

Most of my readers are real friends... So while I wouldn't mind people in my life reading my blog, I am not forthcoming with the URL.

That being said... Facebook has opened the door to so many more people in my life having access.

I'm just careful of work-stuffs and names.

May 22, 2007 at 2:39 PM
Miss Snarky Pants said...

My daughter (the younger of the two) happened to stumble upon my blog by mistake...she is the only one who now knows about it.

I personally wouldn't give it to my friends OR family. Sometimes, I might want to get something off of my chest concerning one if not all of them.

Letting them know about my blog would take away from the fun of it.... There's just something about taking advice from a complete stranger that totally outweighs that of your friends and family.

May 22, 2007 at 3:37 PM
Erica Ann Putis said...

I don't mind if my friends read it but my Mom did find it and I'm sure she hates that I swear so much. But with personal issues... I just don't write about them like you or other bloggers. Mines more for entertainment. I think it's smart to keep it away from your real life friends if you are going to be write personal stuff though...

May 22, 2007 at 7:56 PM
Lola Gets said...

I let very few friends and family know that I have a blog. Funny thing is, the few that do know, dont read it anyways! lol But if I do have something I want others to read, Ill just cut and paste a post into an email and send it to folks.

Even in my real life, Im extremely open, so most folks wouldnt be suprised. Occasionally someone is...lol.
L

May 22, 2007 at 9:09 PM
yerdoingitwrong said...

I told everyone about it and now I hugely regret that choice. I cannot say what I want sometimes. I still have fun with it, but I can't vent like I'd like to at times. DON'T DO IT!!! =) That's my friendly advice.

May 23, 2007 at 1:28 AM
dc_speaks said...

absolutely very few of my real life friends have my bog address.

cool posts

May 23, 2007 at 3:42 PM
Ms. Prudish Diva said...

I just got my blog and I don't want my real friends to read it. The rawness that I need to write about and will write could not happen if they knew about it.. because it's a way to organize my thoughts that happens in my real life without interference

May 23, 2007 at 6:56 PM
CapCity said...

Yes, I told everyone I know (even some in church...LOL!). It's been a pleasant surprise that most who know me well have said to me: U've finally come into who u really are!
Blogging has been great for me! I don't really think most of my REAL friends & family check it that often, but I'm HERE if they wanna!

That said - i don't really blog about others - it's all about getting MY thoughts out...

May 28, 2007 at 1:35 PM

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